I know it's hard to believe ,but, there was a time, not so long ago, that whenever a "Colored" person would appear on TV my whole apartment building on West 59th St in Chicago would go crazy.
"Wanda! Tell your momma there's a Colored girl in a commercial on Channel 9!", my Grandmother Lois would yell out the back door at us kids. Wanda would go up the stairs half running, half screaming ahead, "MOMMA! Turn on Channel 9, there's a Colored girl in a commercial!"
Now, ever so often, Ed Sullivan would have a Colored performer on. Those were the nights I got to stay up late. I would sit there nodding off in my PJs as my Mom and Dad sat talking through whatever white person was telling lame jokes or whatever.
"Ladies and Gentlemen,I would like to welcome to the stage.....". Ed would then turn and I would rush towards the TV and be in heaven for the next 3 minutes or so.
Here are some of the Colored people my Mom & Dad let me stay up late to see.
I loved women with long legs in short skirts! No one had longer legs or shorter skirts than Tina Turner and The Ikettes!
My Moms' dresses were custom made and she had pumps dyed to match.
As a young FHA (Future Homo of America), only one set of women could come close to my Mom when it came to style, The Supremes. Even today, my Mom has an entire room devoted to shoes, wigs and purses, her "Diana Ross Room".
Ladies and Gentlemen, The Supremes!
"I think he's a sissy." My Dad was hella cool. He always accepted the fact that I was probably not meant to be a linebacker , or whatever the hell they do in Hockey. He just loved me as I was. I never heard a word from him about "sissies" except whenever it was time for Little Richard", and even then it wasn't in a bad way. Actually it was more like, "that's one badass sissy!"
I had no idea what a sissy really was, but, I knew if Little Richard was one, I could never live up to the entry fee.
I still can't.
And I'm a major sissy.
My Mom till this day will tell you that "The Tempts" are her favorite group from back in the day. I aint gonna argue that.
I was an Eddie Kendricks fan, Mom liked Dennis or David. Whatever, between the Italian suits and the slick , pointy shoes and the Pomped hair, I was in heaven when The Temptations granted me a reprieve from an early night in my room before school.
Here with their "Psychedelic Soul" hit "Cloud Nine. The Temptations!
I loved (and still do) me some Stevie Wonder!
Something about his songs hit me, even as a little kid, as deep, yet ultimate pop. They all told stories whether I understood them or not, I knew they were important.
Here is one of his jams that would have me humming to my Dalmation stuufed doggie as I fell asleep.
I might be dozing off breaking the Fred Flintstone toothpicks holding my eyes open, and then, that falsetto!
It had to be Smokey!
And The Miracles!
My fave Smokey jam?
I love calliope music. I love Circuses. I love harmony.
I love "Tears Of A Clown"!
Ok, you have to know there was one group that every little Colored boy born in the 60's wanted to be in, The Jackson 5! The J5 was the top 4 songs every week in the Jet Magazine top 10. I used to tear the latest copy open every Monday and go staright to the back to see which Jackson Five song was number one!
Needless to say, when Michael died, I had my "where were you when.." moment.
No one believes me, but, I was there the night the Democratic Convention went all ape shit in '68.
Ok, let me explain.
My Mom worked at The Conrad Hilton Hotel. Every night, my Dad and I would go pick her up. Me in my PJs. we'd ride along Lake Michigan with the windows down listening to the radio.
I had a major thing for Yippies.
Not Hippies. They were lame.
Samantha Steven's cousin, Serena, was a Yippie.
Or I had decided.
And I wanted to hang out with her.
So I was a Yippie.
Even as a little kid, I was a jaded little Bitch. Hippies were boring.
Greg Brady was a hippie.
I used to whine annoyingly (some things never change) until my Dad would promise to take me to every concert of my favorite Yippie band, "Sly and The Family Stone".
Here's the dealio. My poor Dad schlepped me to , I don't know how many, Sly concerts and that Negro (Yippies weren't Colored, they were Negroes) never once showed up! I must have seen more riots by the time I was seven than a white cop in Watts.
But, Perry Washington kept trying.
And I never saw Sly.
Anyways, thinking about the night of the Democratic riots and Yippies always reminds me of my "Sly and The Family Stone" Yippie riotsand the way my Dad would say right before sweeping me up at whatever park they were supposed to play, "God Damn, I knew this shit was gonna happen!"
My Mom used to send me to every apartment on 59th Street with a 45 record with a yellow and brown label and I would sing along with it for anyone who listen.
I was adorable.
I had a thing for light skin girls with "good" hair.
Marilyn McCoo was my "girlfriend".
I saw every concert her group "The 5th Dimension" ever did in Chicago from the late 60's until the mid 70;s when she and Billy left the group. Just recently, I saw Florence Larue still kicking out the jams at The Fremont Street Experience right here in Vegas by my house. She was still pretty.
THE VEGAS STYLE GUY: How's life treating Colton Ford these days?
COLTON FORD: Great!
TVSG: Let's jump right in, you recently covered the REM classic, "Losing My Religion". Why such an iconic rock song?
CF: Why not? It’s an amazing song, and it was fun to go in and re-imagine it with my own musical stylings.
TVSG: It seems that rock would be quite a departure for you considering that your fans think of you as a "Dance" artist. Are you a big secret rock fan?
CF: Not really. I’m more of an R&B/Soul/Funk kind of guy. I do like all kinds of music, but I just tend to gravitate to R&B.
TVSG: Who are some of your favorite rock bands?
CF: Well I love Boston, Fleetwood Mac and Journey to name just a few.
TVSG: I personally think you have one of the best "Blue Eyed Soul" sounds out, does it frustrate you that the mainstream hasn't picked up on you yet?
CF: Well firstly, thank you. I guess I’m just focused on making music that I dig, and continue to do what I can to get it out and reach as many people as possible. It’s a process. I’ve been doing this for a long time, so I just continue to do what I’ve always done.
TVSG: Who are some of your musical idols?
CF: I love Marvin Gaye, Chaka Khan, Babyface, Sarah Vaughn, and Michael McDonald to name a few. I could go on!
TVSG: Who have you worked with that brought something to the studio that you weren't expecting?
CF: When I go into the studio my only expectation is that I’m going to be creating great music with whomever I’m working with. I’ve been very blessed with great collaborators.
TVSG: Have you ever been in the studio and just gotten so frustrated that you just wanted to walk out and say, "screw this!"?
TVSG: Dream duet?
CF: I would love to do a duet with Chante Moore or Lisa Stansfield. Something with Beyonce would be cute! I also think a duet with George Michael would be great.
TVSG: How do you feel about touring?
CF: Touring is an important part of being a recording artist. Market awareness is essential to selling product, so getting out there and meeting your audience is crucial. It’s great to connect with the people that are supporting your work.
TVSG: Do you have "groupies"?
TVSG: For those of us who think you're a major hottie, are you in a relationship?
CF: Yes. His name is Angelo and he’s a hottie, both inside and out!!
TVSG: What kind of night does Colton Ford have when he's just being himself?
CF: I’ll go have a nice dinner with my partner, and then we’ll go home and maybe watch a movie, or a re-run of one of the Housewives episodes. Lol.
TVSG: You're a very sexy man and don't seem to have a problem flaunting it, do you feel your looks are a help or a hindrance to your being taken seriously as a singer?
CF: I’m comfortable in my skin, and use that in a way that I feel works best for me. People’s responses cover the whole spectrum, but at the end of the day I’m happy with who I am and what I’m doing.
TVSG: What is sexy to you?
CF: Confidence and a strong sense of self.
TVSG: What's your next project?
CF: I’m currently working on my next originals album. I’ve also been cast in a reality show called the Velvet Mafia that’s supposed to start shooting early 2010. I’m also reading a couple of feature film scripts. Just keeping the ship moving!
TVSG: So, the next time you're in Vegas, can I VIP you up with a Bottle and a cozy couch in an UltraLounge?
CF: As long as I can bring my partner.
CHECK OUT COLTON'S LATEST HIT "LOSING MY RELIGION" AT www.coltonfordmusic.com
Businessman and author, Paul Murad will be speaking at this months "QVegas Business Alliance Luncheon" on Tuesday 01 December 2009 from 1130am-1:00pm.
Paul has recently announced his intention to run for the office of Lt. Governor of Nevada in 2010 as a Democrat.
The QVegas Business Alliance is a new networking event held in upscale venues where business people can get together to meet one another, network and share information on marketing to the highly desirable LGBT market.
The luncheon will feature a special "speed networking" event as well as door prizes and refreshments.
The cost is $25.00. The luncheon is open to the public. Everyone is encouraged to bring as many of your colleagues as you would like. Please reserve space for everyone online.
Ever so often you need to just jump in the Wayback Machine and get to the origins of everything you love.
I love Punk. As a kid in the late 70's I stayed up late one night and watched the premiere of a new show called "Weekend". I have no idea what else they talked about that night, but, a story on this new thing called "Punk" blew my mind.
For a bored , fat, soon to be Gay kid, Punk proved to me that their was a world outside of Seattle.
I couldn't wait to get there.
Of course everyone knows about the Sex Pistols and all that rot, but, Punk started a lot earlier.
Here are some of the very first Punk rockers.
After all, Malcolm McClaren had to steal it from somewhere.
The acknowledged Kings/Queens of 70's New York Punk, the New York Dolls had one hella short ,but, influential ride!
Some people think of The Velvet Underground as sort of a gimmick that Andy Warhol thought up during his SuperStar period. Led by Nico and Legendary Lou Reed, Velvet is still influencing garage bands to this day.
Regardless of whether or not she broke up The Beatles, there's no denying that Yoko Ono might have just been the first Badass Punk Bitch. You don't like her "singing"? Fuck you. You don't "get" her? Fuck you more.
That's Punk attitude baby.
Yoko is punk.
While we're on the ladies, Patti Smith is one of the OG Punks. Her collaborations with Robert Mapplethorpe and her hard living are legendary. She could and still does keep up with the boys and in most cases, she's got a bigger set than most guys in rock.
You can't have a little Trib to Punk without mentioning these guys. The Ramones perfected the two minute Punk throwdown, all blistering guitars, hard beats and catchy lyrics you could scream to all night while doing beer bongs.
Hope you enjoyed this little trip in The WayBack Machine.
Sondre Lerche sings modern pop songs that have the freshness of a crisp morning in his native Norway. You may know him from his soundtrack work on "Dan In Real Life" in 2007. I'm not a fan of the flick, I'm a big fan of Sondre.
How could you not be a fan of someone who recently got to open for his fave band ever, AHA? Even though had pretty much already written his first album by 1999, the wunderkind had to wait until he finished his high school education before his first real album, "Faces Down", in 2002. This was the full length follow up to his acclaimed EP, "You Know So Well", released in 2001.
Winner of the "Best New Act" at The Norwegian Grammys, Sondre has been performing since he was sneaking into clubs with his sister at age 14. His music is a masterful blend of influences such as Jazz, Bossa Nova, Psychdelic and 60's Pop.
Check out Sondre Lerche, he may just end up being your Sunday afternoon fave.
Ok, I'm Black. I like Red KoolAid, anything fried (except Okra), chicken, watermelon and Bernie Mac.
If you're not Black you probably don't know that at the secret Black People meetings (what, you thought y'all were the only ones to have those? Bitch please.), it has been so decreed that at some point in your life as a Black person, you , or someone you live with, must own a Hyundai.
If you are found in violation of this rule, I shudder to think of what would happen to you. Mad About You reruns? Creamed Chicken on toast casseroles? Campari on ice?
No. Not that!
Rodney King had a Hyundai. Evidently a sport model that was sold only to Ultra Negroes because the LAPD swore that brother was doing 110mph.
Maybe Puffy has one?
I HAD A HYUNDAI!
There. I said it. Don't judge me. It's in the rules. I am already on thin ice. I like "Friends". Not Ross and Rachel. Chandler and Phoebe, but, still...
I had a Hyundai Excel that only stayed in one piece because of the bird crap that fell on it nightly outside of my Echo Park apartment.
What a load of crap.
And the Pigeons.
More so the Hyundai.
Hyundai has decided that poor Black people aint enough anymore and now they're trying to get all bougie. Hence, the V8 powered luxury Genesis sedan. At over 30 Large, this is Hyundai's attempt to get people out of their Lexus's.
Well, it is big. It's not THAT ugly. It's very nice inside. The price is great.
It's a Hyundai.
I'm sorry but no ballers baby momma wants a Hyundai no matter what Hyundai tries to tell you it's market demographic is. This aint like when Mercedes had it's nuts handed to it by Lexus. Nobody had ever heard of Lexus. No preconceived notions.
EVERYBODY has heard of Hyundai.
I don't know about you, but, nice as it is, I aint feeling this big ass Luxo-Hyundai. Maybe if I lived in Carson or lesser parts of Henderson.
Not a moment too soon, Chrysler's new massas, FIAT, have announced the crap, er, cars that are going to get chopped once a new El Jefe is up in the house.
Here's a list and their "point":
CHRYSLER PT CRUISER: Grandmothers who keep a weekly wash and set at Lurlene's. CHRYSLER SEBRING: Drunken sorority girls in Ft. Lauderdale. DODGE AVENGER: What the hell is this? DODGE CALIBER: I repeat, what the hell is this? DODGE DAKOTA: The pickup even Lesbians won't drive. DODGE GRAND CARAVAN: Hi, I hate my wife and kids and wish I was Gay DODGE NITRO: All together now, what the hell is this? DODGE VIPER: Whaddaya mean you don't like Joey Butaffuaco? JEEP COMMANDER:Sounds cool. Isn't JEEP COMPASS: Hi, my name is Shannon! JEEP PATRIOT: Hi, my name is Brent and this is my partner Steven and our daughter, Mei Ling!
As you can imagine, The Vegas Style Guy is uber concerned about the environment and all that crap, uh, stuff. I personally think that no mink should die before it's time and if snakes are going to molt anyway, why not help them along and make lovely belts?
See. I care.
What I really care about are hot cars. If you can combine hot with "EcoChic", well, Je Suis In!
That's French for, "where's the buffet, who's paying?"
Well, Audi, home to the Baddass A8 and R8, has something really EcoCool coming in 2011: The Audi E-Tron.
The E-Tron is the $200,000 answer to the question of what rich nerds drive to the AVNs. This sled is sweet! And unlike the other car companies that are making electric sports cars, there's a pretty good chance Audi will still be around in five years.
I'm not naming names.
With an interior that's a combination of IPod and Jet Fighter, the E-Tron is expected to blast from 0-60 in about 4.3 seconds.
Valets all along the strip say "hey"!
There's a bunch of techy stuff I really don't care about as well. I know it has four electric batteries powering the wheels and...oh Gawd, I'm bored!
Listen, you're not using any of those carbon foot things, it's hella chic, it will be built in the same factory as Lamborghinis and PETA can't get mad at you. After all, no minks died for it.
The trouble one goes through to care.
Yo Schleprock! Put your ducats in a row cause your sportscar is coming. Of course at $200,000+ , you might have to tell your mom you're not moving out of the basement anytime soon.
I was willing to give the monstrosity on the Acura stand a chance. My two friends told me that it was "cool looking".
I thought it looked liked a bad 60's Japanese monster movie, or, Transformers on Meth.
And then I TRIED to get into the back seat.
But, let me get in the way back machine for "une moment".
That's French for "before I hit my head on every surface of this ugly ass car".
The Acura ZD whatever is the latest answer to questions nobody was asking. Namely, " how can I buy a 'car' that doesn't have the size of a SUV or the decent looks of a warthog?" And furthermore, "can I possibly buy the ugliest car at the highest price that I can't possibly get into the back seat of?"
If you have ever asked those questions, Acura has a car for you.
And you're stupid.
The ZDX is actually impossible to get into the back seat of unless you are whatever the politically correct word for a midget is. I defy anyone who is not from one of Gulliver's Travels to get into the back seat of this thing without doing a Cirque Du Soleil maneuver of epic proportions.
I literally had to bend, stoop, fold and pray to 1980's Jane Fonda to Origami myself into the back seat. And once I had achieved this little bit of self flagellation, I then had my neck turned at an angle so unnatural that I reached for my cell phone and called Gloria Allred hoping to get her to file a class action suit for anyone who actually suffered through this denial of basic backseat rights.
And did I mention that it's UGLY?
Like one of those inbred Spanish Infantas, the ZDX is the Jocelyn Wildenstein of four wheeled conveyances. I wanted to sue Acura just for making me look at it. From any angle.
Much like the BMW X6 and Gran Turismo, the ZDx is a car for, oh, I don't know, MORONS perhaps? Why would you spend more than $35,000 on a car that your friends are going to have knife fights over who has to endure the back seat for more than 5 minutes? And why, pray tell, unless you are a student at the Braille Institute, would you look at this new millennium Edsel and still sign the papers to take it off some dealers lot?
Why dammit, why?
I don't hate the 2010 Acura ZDX.
I LOATHE it.
And as soon as I leave my Chiropractor, I'm suing someone for wasting my retinas and my vertebrae.
What I meant was that every Gay needs needs a frantic White chick who's on the verge of hitting some slow Bitch with a bottle of Robotussin (that she's buying, "just in case.") in line at the Von's self check out.
You know the type: Fab "vintage" coat over dirty sweats in full "walk of shame" makeup at 12:45pm.
On a Tuesday.
Her name is always the type that hides the inner crazy Bitch just on the other side of her 2 seasons ago Prada Mary Janes.
Hells to the yeah!
If you don't have your own personal semi crazy White girl, Amy Alkon will do until you find a Sherry or a Suzi of your own.
Not sure if you should tell that lady that her 6 year old already looks like a slut?
Wanna know if it's cool to tell a guy you can't date him anymore because you've nicknamed his penis, "the Gherkin"?
When I think of Vegas Style Guys, I think of the suave and smooth crooners. Dean, Frank, Sammy and Peter Lawford are my idea of Men with style. The way they wore a suit made the ladies swoon a-roon roon and the gents all rush out to Bullocks to get the latest in sharksin, skinny suits.
That old Vegas look is a class act that never goes out of style. It's clean and simple, yet, tres elegante.
That's French for, SLAMMIN'!
Whether you're hitting a steakhouse on the Strip or alighting from your Caddy with tonight's arm candy, you can rest assured that you'll be aces in a suit if Deano would have worn it.
The newest member of the Vegas Style Pack is Matt Goss.
Who is this Matt Goss I speak of?
Remember those way hot UK twins from the 80's, "Bros"? They gave us such jams as, "When Will I Be Famous" and "I Owe You Nothing".
Well, Matt was a Bro.
Turns out Matt wasn't just a pretty boy who looked good in torn jeans. He is actually an extremely talented singer and performer. He's currently packing them in at The Palms on a long term gig. While virtually unknown here in the states, Goss is known as "The Voice" worldwide, Matt has sold millions of albums with "Bros" and as a solo artist. Las Vegas is where Matt hopes to establish himself on this side of the pond as a star of major talent and potential.
In addition to soothing the aural canals with his smooth "blue eyed" soul, Matt is one the most stylish men in Las Vegas. He's fast becoming known for his dapper, well cut suits and Sinatra-esque fedoras. Matt exhibits a sleek and modern style that pays homage to the past in a way that is still modern and fresh. Hopefully, the guys who go to see his shows will come away with a need to buy his CD AND they'll have a clue on how a guy should be dressing for a night out on the town in Las Vegas these days.
Matt Goss is in residence at The Palms on the weekends.
Check out Matt Goss at The Palms Hotel & Casino 4321 West Flamingo Road, Las Vegas, NV 89103 702-942-7777
I love my Downtown. Especially Fremont Street. I honestly believe that Fremont Street is the "real" Las Vegas. Not to put down the "Megas" up the street, but, on Fremont Street you can always have a good time no matter what your budget.
Well, mon Ami, Downtown is about to be rocked by the classiest joint north of Bonneville. The Golden Nugget is taking the wraps off of it's new tower!
Damn the economy! Full luxe ahead!
Already the most luxurious of the Downtown hotel, The Golden Nugget has just seen a $300 Million renovation and upgrade.
Pretty soon we'll be talkin' real money.
What you get for all of that cheese is one Glam new Glitter Palace for The Gulch.
Luxury rooms that are larger than my own personal Downtown Criblet, a HUGE new Aquarium you can enjoy either from the stylish lobby ,or, from your table at my soon to be fave eatery, The Charthouse.
Over a Million Smackeroos was spent on the Porte Cochere alone!
That's French for the place you get out of your Town Car at.
All of this is in addition to all of my favorite things about The Golden Nugget which have been kept and improved. There's the pool with it's water slide through a tank full of vicious, man eating sharks (no, not them, those are Cougars, look in the tank silly!) which has been upgraded with the most chic cabanas downtown. AND my fave bar Downtown to people watch and drink Gibson's, Gold Digger's!
Well, the big to do is tonight, so, I better go shine my date and get a move on for the festivities!
See you there!
Golden Nugget Hotel 129 E. Fremont St. Las Vegas, NV 89101
Both of them would be out the window like the last bottle of Hennesy at a Ghetto prom if Satan came at me and offered me a 2010 Cadillac CTS Coupe.
I'd sleep with your Mom and kill your Dad for this car.
(Note to self: Don't say stuff like that out loud. It makes you look shallow.)
Pardon Moi, Je suis digress.
The new CTS Coupe is a direct injected 3.6-liter V6 304 hp, torquey sex toy.
And I wanna play with it.
This car is the sleekest thing to come out of Motown since Cindy Birdsong. The lines are sharp and seductive. The interior is like having Leather Daddy sex on the Cote D'Azure, all leather and chrome. 18" wheels and GM's Hydra-Matic 6L50 six-speed automatic tranny make cruising the boulevard from Fremont Street to Santa Monica and Roberston a Pimpy breeze.
I lust for a hot Douche in an Ed Hardy Bedazzled T-Shirt. You know the type. He hangs out at pool parties with his "Brahs" leering at future strippers from Tampa while drinking Adios MuthaFuckas in the sun till he pukes on your Air Kobes ( or whatever those people wear). He's hot, but, you know after he splooges he's gonna fart and fall asleep.
I love him.
So do you.
And what does a Douche wear when he's hitting T.I. (the Ultimate Douche Hotel)?
ED. FUCKING. HARDY. BRAH!
Since Ashton Kutchner first wore that Ed Hardy Trucker hat, the Hardy line has become the Chanel for the Douche set. If you're a Douche and you don't have an Ed Hardy Bedazzled T, well, who are you Brah? I don't know you anymore.
My faves are the Bedazzled board shorts that hang oh so low on a hot white boys' flat ass.
They also have shoes and various other accessories.
Let's face it, Bimmers are the car you're going to see the most of at any "Ladies Drink Free" nightclub from the Jersey Shore to Henderson. For whatever reason, BMW has cornered the market on Douchemobiles.
If you're a Douche (and , be honest, you know if you are), here's what the BMW folks have for you in 2010.
What is it?
The starter Douchemobile for Guidos whose Daddy won't pay child support because they don't want their exes using it on poolboys.
Or Cage Fighters.
What is it?
This is THE Douchemobile! You aren't even in the running for lead Douche until you've had a DUI in one of these overpriced, overrated penis enhancers.
What is it?
The car your sister's dork Dr. boyfriend drives. You hate him.
What is it?
Your Douche Dad's Douchemobile. He bought it cause his ass is too fat to get in and out of a 3-Series.
But not too fat to climb under his new girlfriend you're banging.
What are they?
The X Series are the Ultimate Dumbass Duouche Experience. What? You're going 4 wheeling at T.I.? Need extra space for your Ed Hardy T's? Need a place to throw your faded Brah after a night at Poetry?
The X3 is so stupid we won't bother. If you have one of these, give back your "I Heart Brody" shirt.
X5: See X3
There's a special place in Hell for you if you drive an X6. It's like a Pontiac Aztek juiced on a 3 Series and had this Mongoloid Monstrosity.
There a reason Great Danes don't bang Chihuahuas.
2010 5-Series Gran Turismo
What is it?
LOL! DUDE! No way! WTF?!?!?!
Feels like a pump, looks like a limp wanger.
I'm at a bit of a loss as to who exactly wants a HATCHBACK 5-Series. 3rd wives? Circus Clowns who get paid union wages? People who believe that ugly truly is in the eyes of the beholder? Slutty Grandmothers?
I have to stop, my stomach hurts.
What is it?
THE Gouche (Gay Douche)sled for hair "Stylists" at the best "Salon" in the Mall.
CARRIE PREJEAN (WHORE) BRITTNEY SPEARS(Nutjob) MARIAH CAREY (Cougar) HEIDI MONTAG (Annoying Suburban Princess) MYLEY CYRUS (Future Unwed Mother) ANNA NICOLE SMITH (Dead. Still) DENISE RICHARDS ("Actress") HEATHER LOCKLEAR (Groupie) JENNIFER ANISTON (Flat Bottomed Girl) ANY KARDASHIAN SISTER INCLUDING THE TWO NEW ONES (Valley Reality Trash) PAMELA ANDERSON (Porno Star)
DOUCHE GODS: Brody Jenner (El Jefe of The Douches) Spencer Pratt (More of a Dick Douche) The Gotti Bros (See Jersey Shore below) The Stars of those Vampire movies (Jailbait magnet Douches) Tito Ortiz (I'd still do him Douche) The Cast of The Jershey Shore (Guido Douches, double negative) Eddie Cibrian (Aldulterdouche) Jon Gosselin (King Of All Douches) Gerard Butler (Horny Douche) Kevin "K-Fat" Federline (Former King Of All Douches) Verne Troyer (Mini Douche) Nick Cannon ( The Extremely Rare, Black Douche)
I just don't understand what happened here. Your single, "Expensive Shoes" , or, whatever it was called, was bad enough, BUT THIS?
Honey, I think it's time for Jenny to take another trip to the block and find out what goes on off of Singer Island.
You know, the real world?
How can you have like ten years off and then come back with this crap? If you didn't have anything new that was worthwhile, just pull a Janet, do a greatest hits in time for Christmas.
Don't embarrass yourself like this.
Btw, singing about expensive shoes shows that you still wish you were with Puffy. If I was that Preying Mantis you married, we would be having a serious talk right about now. Phantoms and trips down Rodeo just aint in no mo' Gurlfriend.
QVegas Presents The Perfect Princess Party Host: QVegas Type: Party - Cocktail Party Network: Global Date: Thursday, November 19, 2009 Time: 6:00pm - 8:00pm Location: 10801 W Charleston Blvd. Suite 530
DescriptionJoin QVegas Magazine on Thursday, November 19th for the Perfect Princess Party, brought to you by The Perfect Princess Cut.
Open bar, complimentary hors d'oeuvres and a chance to win a perfect princess cut diamond and complimentary private design consultation to create the perfect setting.
Las Vegas Bootcamp will also be giving away a session valued at $300.
I see a whole crop of “films” have been dumped on an unsuspecting American public this week. Well, let me help you with your weekend selection pour la cinema. Herewith are the movies I wouldn’t see with your eyes:
NEW YORK, I LOVE YOU
Starring: Natalie Portman, Shia LeBeouf, and Ethan Hawke
Why I’m not going to watch it: Natalie Portman, Shia LeBeouf, and Ethan Hawke
Starring: Some new White girl, Some other Dude
Why I’m not going to watch it: Ok, 16yr old girl gets swept off her feet by a grown ass man twice her age and experiences her “sexual awakening”.
Child molestation much?
Change the girl to a 16yr old boy do you really think it’s “art” anymore?
That’s what I thought.
Starring: Cameron Diaz, some white guy
Why I’m not going to watch it: A couple gets a magical box that has a button you push and you get a million dollars.
But wait, there’s a catch!
Every time you push the button, someone you don’t know dies.
What’s your point?
I’d push the button ten or twelve times a day.
Even if people I knew died.
I’m just sayin’.
THE DAMN UNITED:
Starring: A bunch of pasty English guys
Why I’m not going to watch it: It’s set in 70’s Britain. Have you ever seen what 70’s Britain looked like? Grey food and cigarette smoke.
AND, it’s about something called Soccer. If I’m watching a movie about men kicking balls around, it better be starring David Beckham.
Starring: Monique, some big Black girl, Mariah Carey
Why I’m not going to watch it: Though I loved Mariah in “Glitter”, if I needed to see a movie about fat, mean, Black women with unmarried, pregnant daughters, I would just go sit at my Auntie Shirley’s house for an afternoon.
A CHRISTMAS CAROL
Starring: Jim Carrey, the original cast of Village of The Damned
Why I’m not going to watch it: Have you seen one of these new animation movies? They freak me out. It’s like watching Tweakers after they’ve been hitting the pipe for three days.
Or, so I’ve heard.
They all have John Wayne Gacy eyes.
I’m scared Daddy, hold me!
Uh, you can let go now Daddy.
Starring: I don’t know, but, I think that guy from those John Hughes movies
Why I’m not going to watch it: I lived in L.A. during the Rodney King riots.
See, I have saved you from Lord knows how much at your local Cineplex.
When people think about Las Vegas they always think about The Strip, and Strippers. Well, there's more to Sin City than Flaming Volcanoes and Steel Poles.
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
You think you know Sin City? If you aint been to The Erotic Heritage Museum, you don't know Jack.
Today between 430-630pm The Erotic Heritage Museum is offering FREE guided tours of one of the most extensive collections of Erotica in the world. This place is a mind blower majorus! In addition to an amazing collection of ,ahem, Adult pleasures, the museum has one of the best art collections in Las Vegas. AND you don't have to walk through a bank of slot machines to see the Art.
I'm jes sayin'.
Come on down, but, leave your Aunt Meg at home! Oh Hell, bring the old gal, she probably will get a bigger kick out of it than you!
THE EROTIC HERITAGE MUSEUM is right out the back door of Dillards at The Fashion Show Mall on the Strip across Industrial road. Shop and then let your jaw drop.
Well, my stylish ,yet thrifty, little urchins, I have a little something just for you.
But first, say my name. Oh yeah, that's right!
Starting 18 November until 24 November the John Varvatos store at The Hard Rock Hotel is having a very private VIP sale!
WAIT! THERE'S MORE!
IT'S 40%! OFF! BUT THAT'S NOT ALL!
COMPLIMENTARY TAILORING IS INCLUDED! BUT, THAT'S NOT ALL!
ALIEN TEQUILA is hosting Tequila tastings from 6-9pm EVERYNITE of the sale!
Yeah, who's your Daddy now?
Make sure you tell the good folks at Varvatos that Derek Washington sent you or you aint getting diddly. Uh, I mean, tell 'em I sent you.
JOHN VARVATOS AT THE HARD ROCK HOTEL Hard Rock Hotel & Casino Las Vegas, 4455 Paradise Road, Las Vegas, NV 89169 Hours of Operation Mon 11:00am-12:00am Tue 11:00am-12:00am Wed 11:00am-12:00am Thu 11:00am-12:00am Fri 11:00am-12:00am Sat 11:00am-12:00am Sun 11:00am-12:00am
If you know me, you know I'm all about kickin' it off The Strip when I'm not being Bottled down in some Ultralounge surrounded by cuties of the hot variety.
My fave place that's off The Strip AND worth the trip?
The Arts Factory Mon Dieu.
That's French for something.
Check out the haps and hang!
Here the dealio:
Cafe Convo Thursday November 19th The holidays are upon us, making it the perfect time to network, meet your neighbors and talk about ideas or projects. Join us this and every Third Thursday inside Studio West Photography for good conversation and a better cup of joe.
8am - 10am The Arts Factory 107 E Charleston #250 Hosted by Studio West Photography and Debra Heiser Design Admission is free
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Erotic Heritage Museum Field Trip Thursday, November 19th Arts Factory gallery owner Dr. Laura Henkel (Laura Henkel Fine Art, Suite #100) is also the curator of Las Vegas' very own Erotic Heritage Museum. The E.H.M. is 17,000 square feet of art, memorabilia, artifacts, and film; everything from 6th century artifacts to contemporary, cutting edge artwork is on display. Dr Laura, who established the museum as part of her Phd thesis, has offered to give a guided tour to all Arts Factory tenants and patrons.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Brett Wesley Gallery Presents Chamber Music Series Where Music & Art Meet Thursday, November 19th The Nekochan String Quartet will be performing a collection of songs from Beethoven and Ravel in the newest addition to the 18b Arts District: Brett Wesley Gallery.
7pm - 8.30pm Brett Wesley Gallery 1112 Casino Center (corner of Charleston & Casino Center) Admission is $15 Smart Casual Attire Cash bar available for wine and beer Please RSVP with Rob at 702.433.4433
Friday, November 20th Lunch Trays for Home Days is an art auction and fundraising event featuring over 40 local artists and live entertainment. Local artists have designed individual and unique lunch trays that will be on display and available for purchase. All proceeds from the event will benefit Three Square’s Backpack Program which provides food to enrolled students from the Clark County School District, who are effected by hunger. Live entertainment provided by DJ 88 and Noize. Presented by Invision, Group Therapy Las Vegas, Fully Belly Group andTaka Designs.
7pm - 10pm Group Therapy Gallery Inside the Arts Factory 107 E Charleston
Unlike L.A. where any old Douchemobile will work as long as you spend 50plus on it (while you live in a shared apt in Weho), Vegas demands that you think about what your sled looks like when you pull up to the valet at Encore. Benz? Please, the C-Class is for maids and SL's are for third wives of dentists from Summerlin. Bimmers? Yeah, if you just got out of the wayback machine and you're starring in a John Hughes movie.
The ride that will get you props and a spot out front so your new friend who's charging by the hour and you don't have to wait to get it back, is a Caddy. A 1984 Seville, to be exact.
Yup, the bustleback babe is the second generation that followed up the wildly successful first gen "New Cadillac". This car in a two tone Earl Scheib with wires and Vogue Tires will let everybody waiting in line know that you drink your Harvey's Bristol Creme on ice.
Paulie was the King of cheesy dance pop during the early 90’s. Ce Ce Penniston, Seduction, & Crystal Waters were all on his endless loop mixtape.
One of my faves of Pauls’ dance goddesses was Alison Moira Clarkson (Born 06 March, 1970 in Kensington, London, UK) better known as Betty Boo. If you’re over “un certain age” you have surely bopped to “Doin’ the Do”, Betty’s big Gay dance hit. But, did you know that Betty is also an accomplished songwriter? Chris Herbert, The Spice Girls original manager actually asked her to write songs for them. Turns out Betty Boo was the original inspiration for The Spice Girls! Herbert was actually trying to form a girl group of 5 Betty Boos. Who knew? Btw, Simon Cowell turned down some of her first songs including, “Pure and Simple” which was “reimagined” as the debut single for J-Pop group Hear Say which went on to be the groups best selling hit without her permission. The experience left a distinct distaste for the type of “manufactured” pop process that Cowell was to later excel at. “This audition-based pop star thing just didn't exist when I was around, or at least I wasn't aware of it. I came from a hip-hop background, did very credible underground music. As a pop artist, I had my own image. I had got to help the directors with the videos, I worked very closely with an art designer on the sleeves and stuff. It's completely different now... Popstars was the whole thing I completely loathe in pop music. I don't like the idea of people being auditioned to be in a pop band. They may as well be working on a cruise liner. Pop music will not evolve if it carries on like this. I think Popstars exposed how a pop group is made. It should put an end to it completely. Even if Pure and Simple was a successful record, I'm not that passionate about it. I'm more passionate that the programme itself might have changed people's view about pop.” Today, Alison is working with such megastars as Girls Aloud and Danii Minogue. In addition , she is working on the musical version of Kate Williams’ biography of Emma Hamilton “Englands Mistress, The Infamous Life of Emma Hamilton”. Betty Boo may be retired, but Alison Clarkson is “Doing The Do”!
BETTY BOO Discography Albums • Boomania (1990) UK #4, AUS #68 • GRRR! It's Betty Boo (1992) UK #62 • Doin' the Do: The Best of Betty Boo (1999 - comprises tracks and remixes from Boomania only) Singles • "Hey DJ / I Can't Dance (To That Music You're Playing)" / "Ska Train" (Guest vocal for the Beatmasters) (1989) UK #7 • "Doin' the Do" (1990) UK #7, AUS #3 • "Where Are You Baby?" (1990) UK #3, AUS #19 • "24 Hours" (1990) UK #25, AUS #94 • "Let Me Take You There" (1992) UK #12, AUS #97 • "I'm On My Way" (1992) UK #44 • "Hangover" (1993) UK #50 • "Catch Me" (1993)- not released as a single in the UK • "Thing Goin' On" (1993)- not released as a single in the UK • "Wigwam" (2006) as part of WigWam with Alex James UK #60 • "Take Off" (Jack Rokka vs. Betty Boo) (2007) UK #92
Zowie Bowie is my favorite lounge act in Las Vegas.
I get a kick out of seeing a Cactus Tree all lit up.
Well, right next door in Henderson, I ( and I guess you too) am getting a whole bunch of my favorite things all at once Tuesday night Ethel's Chocolate Factory! Oh yeah, it's the holidays, Vegas Style Babee!
The 16th Annual Lighting Of the Cactus (Cacti?)will be taking place at the three acre Botanical Garden at the Ethel's Chocolate Factory right around 6pm. Funnyman, George Wallace will host the lighting of over half a million lights followed up by performances from the best band in Vegas, Zowie Bowie and Michael Grimm who leads his own 12 piece band out at The Green Valley Ranch in The Ovation Showroom (is this burgh packed with talent, or what?). Not to be outdone by the pros, some of the best local high school singers will be giving you their take on all of your holiday faves ( I highly doubt they will be doing my fave, "Santa Claus,Go Straight To The Ghetto", but, hey.)and the Fat Dude himself, Kristopher Kringle, might just be making an appearance himself to see what I ,uh, I mean the kids, want this year.
WAIT! There's more!
It seems that in the spirit of a "Green" Holiday, "TerraCycle", a company dedicated to turning one man’s trash into another man’s treasure, is asking guests to bring in any one candy wrapper to be donated to "TerraCycle" in exchange for one ticket to the November 17 event (limit eight tickets per family). This is perfect timing for those looking for something to do with all those leftover Halloween wrappers. Don’t toss them away and instead bring them into Ethel’s for tickets to the season’s most popular event. TerraCycle will ‘upcycle’ the collected wrappers into a variety of affordable, eco-friendly products.
And speaking of "all natural" (We were weren't we? Well, we are now.), Ethel's is an all natural; chocolatier. They use no preservatives! Nummers!
Ok, so now the details:
Tickets are required to enter the event and a limited amount will be available free of charge beginning October 19 at all eight ethel’s locations.
The Ethel’s® chocolate factory and Botanical Cactus Garden are located at Two Cactus Garden Drive in Henderson. For more information on the Holiday Cactus Garden, holiday events, store hours and locations and ordering products, please call 1-800-680-0150 or just go online at : www.ethelschocolate.com
To find out more about "Terra Cycle", check out their website: www.terracycle.net
If you want to see the best and funniest show on The Strip, then you must want to see The George Wallace show! Find out how at: www.georgewallace.net
In the mood to dance to ALL the latest hits with the BEST live band in Vegas? Sure you are! Get over to see Zowie Bowie ASAP! Their website: www.zowiebowie.com
And finally, for the musical stylings of Michael Grimm, just check him and his out at The Green Valley Ranch: www.michaelgrimmmusic.com
Dress warm and tell the kiddies to let Santa know that they want a Bugatti Veyron. Of course, I will be happy to drive it until they are of age.
When I walked into the brand new and badass John Varvatos store at the Hard Rock Hotel, I was blown away by a huge wall of videos screens rockin' Yoko Ono during her screaming apple blossom phase in the early 70's.
I knew I was home.
The new John Varvatos store is a rockhead's dream. If it was a club, it would by my neighborhood hang where you could find my well dressed butt lounging across an animal print wing chair sipping on my Alien Tequila.
There's a whole wall of working old skool receivers that took me back to my uncle Rips' basement where he played jazz albums all day and night. He was hella cool and would have love this store.
Vinyl is the rule here. It's rare and on sale. Japanese imports of old Roxy Music LPs sit next to Cheap Trick and Indie Rock. I was in heaven from the first step in.
Oh yeah, the clothes!
John Varvatos is for the guy who aint a "Douche". No screaming prints or trucker hats with Tigers on acid for him. The style is high end cool, laid back hip. Jackets have the kind of details that your latest date notices when you're snuggled up in the VIP section at Closet Sundays all bottled up.
The latest collection has a Rock & Roll edge, but, it's still understated enough that you don't attract the paps. There's a suede jacket with shearling details that would work at the apres ski and when walking past the hoardes waiting to get into XS. The jeans are not too skinny and don't fall down past your Banana Republic boxers. The prices are right in the range for you to get a pair and a t-shirt and still hit Burger Bar for an Angus.
If you have time, head down to The Hard Rock Hotel and the John Varvatos store and rock out!
Psst...there's a secret VIP sale coming up. Tune back in on Monday and I mught just give you the password.
JOHN VARVATOS @ THE HARD ROCK HOTEL Hard Rock Hotel & Casino Las Vegas, 4455 Paradise Road, Las Vegas, NV 89169
Hours of Operation Mon 11:00am-12:00am Tue 11:00am-12:00am Wed 11:00am-12:00am Thu 11:00am-12:00am Fri 11:00am-12:00am Sat 11:00am-12:00am Sun 11:00am-12:00am
New Year’s Eve pyrotechnic display to be fired from seven rooftop locations
LAS VEGAS (November 13, 2009) — Las Vegas Events (LVE) and the Las Vegas Convention and Visitors Authority (LVCVA) announced today that the New Year’s Eve celebration known as America’s Party: Las Vegas New Year 2010 will include a spectacular fireworks show fired from seven rooftop locations along the Las Vegas Strip.
The firing locations (from the south, heading north) include the following resort properties: MGM Grand, Planet Hollywood, Aria, Caesars Palace, Treasure Island (TI), Venetian and the Stratosphere.
Fireworks by Grucci of New York will again coordinate the pyrotechnic display. The group recently created the spectacular Grand Opening of the Atlantis Hotel and The Palm Jumeirah in Dubai and has executed numerous presidential inaugurations and citywide celebrations. Locally, Fireworks by Grucci has produced many of Las Vegas’ largest special events and grand openings, including the official Las Vegas Centennial celebration.
In addition to designing the pyrotechnic display, Fireworks by Grucci will work directly with the Clark County Fire Department and Building Services to ensure both fire and structural safety guidelines.
“We are moving the fireworks show back to where it should be,” said LVE President Pat Christenson. “Fireworks by Grucci, the Clark County Fire Department and Building Services and the individual resort properties have worked tirelessly since January of this year to address the fire and structural safety issues associated with firing the show from the rooftops. Our goal each year is to design a show that is befitting of this city and provides a great backdrop for the thousands of revelers on the Strip.”
According to the LVCVA, Las Vegas hosts several hundred thousand visitors for New Year’s Eve.
"Las Vegas continues to be the best venue in the world to ring in the New Year," said Rossi Ralenkotter, president and CEO of the LVCVA. "The fireworks will culminate an evening of celebrity-hosted events at nightclubs, special dining experiences at restaurants, live music at the Fremont Street Experience downtown and much more. There is no other destination that offers the excitement on New Year's Eve."
Thematic elements and the musical portion of the fireworks show will be announced at a later date.