tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5718261141973432332024-03-14T02:07:13.028-07:00THE VEGAS STYLE GUYA journey through the worlds of style, design, art and gracious living. Who am I kidding? It's about stuff!THE VEGAS STYLE GUYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05970342300412070727noreply@blogger.comBlogger192125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-571826114197343233.post-57028432746041164502015-11-09T16:21:00.000-08:002017-02-26T19:38:50.378-08:0052 is not the new 38 or How I Learned to Stop Living Carefree and Begin to Fear the Age Bomb pt1 of many<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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“I'm invisible! I'm not even here! No one looks at me. They look right through me.” Yup. Another exciting night with my friend Bob. 55. Chubby. White. Balding. Not just alone. Lonely. Miserable. Old. And after 2 and 1 quarter vodka orange buckets of misery, a complete boor. And about to start crying if I don't stop flirting with the guy over his shoulder and get him to his fallback, food.<br />
<br />
Stat.<br />
<br />
“I've said it before.” I know this part of Bob's next overly dramatic performance. It's the whole, “if I don't find someone soon. To love me. To hold me at night. ..I'm going to end it….” I glaze over as he launches in and imagine myself handing him the broken bucket glass with instructions in my best Rose McGowan, “up and down. Never across.”<br />
<br />
Bob is not dealing with the whole gay guy getting old thing well.<br />
<br />
At all.<br />
<br />
“I don't really think the rules apply to gay guys.” My 22 year old best friend, Christophe. “Active gay guys like you, well, it's still cool if you go out to bars or pool parties. Though you may want to lay off the pancakes after the Garage before next season.” Out of the mouths of bitches. I mean, babes.<br />
<br />
I get his point, but I'm 52.<br />
<br />
I can say all I want that Black doesn't crack. Or yellow stays mellow. But I'm 52 freaking years old. I'm an AARP member for fuck sake. I remember Julia. The colored nurse, not the abnormally large cook. Oh God, I remember her too. I was there when Alexis showed up in the courtroom. I grew up with a black and white TV.<br />
<br />
I'm old.<br />
<br />
Gay and old.<br />
<br />
Whether I like it or not I'm a senior citizen. Kill me and sell my bones to the Soylent Green corporation. If they'll deal in past date fat products.<br />
<br />
I'm old.
Gay and old.<br />
<br />
You never see 40 year old straight guys at Rehab. If you do, everyone there is looking at dude in his long board shorts like wtf? No one bats an eye at a 60 year old guy in a speedo with pierced nipples at a Luxor Gay pool party. It just seems like we never have to grow up. Something just seems wrong to me about that.<br />
<br />
But.<br />
<br />
I don't know why.<br />
<br />
I look at my friends from high school on Facebook. The jocks all look worn out. Fat. Sloppy. Tired. What happened? We're the same age. Come from the same place. I can only conclude, straight happened. They grew up. It's what straight people do.<br />
<br />
Why haven't I? Why haven't I had to? When do I? Will I?<br />
<br />
This shit is freaking me out.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />THE VEGAS STYLE GUYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05970342300412070727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-571826114197343233.post-35603821482211913822013-02-06T17:53:00.002-08:002013-02-06T17:55:55.414-08:00MACAYO: Mexican food for those who hate Mexican food<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Ok.
Let me just start out by saying that this is a great Mexican Food Restaurant.
If you loathe Mexican food.
Best thing about eating lunch here? It was out of me less than two hours later!
Explosively.
Really. I swear.
My bud had a 2 for 1 coupon and asked me to join him to talk biz ,so, being cheap, fat and hungry, I said, "sure'. I knew where the place was ( who hasn't bought street drugs at some point in their lives? Don't judge me!) and made it there only to enter 1981 Mexico. The "decor" is barely that. Some frescoes of someone's idea of Mexico could have used a Silkwood shower and the tables looked like ,well, nothing.
The first bad sign? Stale, tasteless chips and some sort of salsa juice. WTF? I mean this set up was so bad even my friend (who will eat anything.) only finished 1/4 of them.
The menu is very typical White suburbia version of Mexican "Combinacciones Platos". I was actually in the mood for that. It's like you know it's not real Mexican food but you love it anyway.
And then I made a mistake that would cause our waitress, Surlyrella, to decide that she and I were NOT going to be Freunden.
Not.
"You know what? I'll have a cheese taco as well as my Enchiladas", I gamely said to the looming rock of hate. "CHEESE TACO?', she hissed.
We stared at each other like two mean Wildebeest about to go all Wild Kingdom on each other. Being Gay, I was not about to back down.
"It's a TACO WITH CHEESE", I looked her gaze right back at her now beady steely eyes.
"Hmph", she shot back in a way that said, "screw you and your mother for letting you down the birth canal!"
So.
The "food" came.
As did the next twenty minutes of my choking down some of the blandest globs of cheese, rice and beans that I have endured since Swanson decided to take on the Mexican TV tray market.
It came, but it didn't went fast enough for me.
Fast forward to me back at work breaking my cardinal rule, "No number 2 at the office!'
Explosively.
Oh yeah. That cheese taco? A hard shell with some cheese shoved in with that nasty from the bag shredded lettuce you get on clearance at Food For Less. Despicable.
I hate this place and strongly suggest you eat at , well, anywhere other than here.
MACAYO
1741 E Charleston Blvd
Las Vegas, NV 89104
Neighborhood: Downtown
(702) 382-5605THE VEGAS STYLE GUYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05970342300412070727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-571826114197343233.post-25508989842796188282012-07-20T01:43:00.001-07:002012-07-20T01:43:20.229-07:00Paris Is BurningThis movie is possibly the best documentary ever made on the subject of being poor, Gay and of color. Watch it and share!
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/gS0_NUqPgw4" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>THE VEGAS STYLE GUYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05970342300412070727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-571826114197343233.post-3524597264715209562012-03-31T22:14:00.007-07:002012-03-31T23:12:54.716-07:00SHARE: The ONLY Place You Need To Know About In Gay Vegas!<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-DNQc_SiPkqI/T3fx4Ia6uOI/AAAAAAAAAgg/eBr04Jny8ZU/s1600/NEW%2BSHARE.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 277px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-DNQc_SiPkqI/T3fx4Ia6uOI/AAAAAAAAAgg/eBr04Jny8ZU/s320/NEW%2BSHARE.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5726311397860227298" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Hola Cholas! <br /><br />And assorted other Glamzillas.<br /><br />It's the weekend in Las Vegas and one is simply swamped with places to go and people to do...oh, wait, THINGS to do.<br /><br />My bad.<br /><br />So. Where is one to go that won't be just another flaccid night of tired DJ's and draft beer in a pitcher (though Moi has been known to put a hurtin' on a draft beer in a pitcher. I'm jes sayin'.)?<br /><br />Where you ask?<br /><br />You did ask.<br /><br />Really. I swear.<br /><br />Where?<br /><br /><a href="http://www.sharenightclub.com/">SHARE!</a> <br /><br />The hottest new swank place to wave your hands in the air like you just don't care is, say it with me this time, SHARE.<br /><br />Located convenient to, but not swamped by the traffic of The Strip, SHARE is THE place to see and be seen. On Friday nights you'll be putting on your wig hat and high heeled sneakers for Paul Nichols Stripper Circus. It's La La Land's ultra sexy fab u lush party served up Las Vegas Style with DJ CHI CHI LaRue and the the sexual DJ Nick Ayler. Every 3rd Wednesday DJ Lisa Pittman serves up the hot chicas at BootyBar. There's a $500 prize for the best tail on Cotton Tail Mondays, oh my. The Fabulous Edie is the hostest with the mostest weekly at The Biz: A Weekly Cast Party with the best entertainers from The Strip showing you what they got in a tres intimate setting. Did I mention there's 2-4-1 Cocktails those nights starting at 10pm? Now I have. And of course Saturday is everybody's fave night to get hot and sweaty on the dance floor!<br /><br />AND THERE'S NEVER A COVER CHARGE!<br /><br />I said never.<br /><br />Ok, let's talk about what's muy importante.<br /><br />No Bitch, not my recent weight gain. <br /><br />VIP TABLE SERVICE! <br /><br />As you know, Moi never goes anywhere unless Moi is on the DJ. I mean on the DJ's list. And I would never sit anywhere but the VIP section con bottles of my favorite adult beverages. Never. Well, SHARE has the best table service in the Gay Las Vegas universe! <br /><br />AND it's tres affordable starting at just $100! Uh hello, why are you still reading this? Shouldn't you be Tweeting your peeps and updating your Facebook status to "In The VIP Bitches!"?<br /><br />Right?<br /><br />By the by, if you manage to get your car out of the driveway in time SHARE has OPEN BAR!That's right from 10 PM to 11 PM just get out your DROID and text "isahre" to 313131 (must show text at door for open bar).<br /><br />Did I mention SHARES serves up After Hours frivolity from 3am on every Friday and Saturday? They do. <br /><br />So. Hurry on down and shake your groove thing while you oggle the parade of cuties at SHARE.<br /><br />Now.<br /><br />I said now. <br /><br /><br /><iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/zu_mzN7l-zM" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br /><br /><br />4636 Wynn Road<br />Las Vegas<br />Nevada<br />89103<br />702-258-2681<br /><br /><a href="http://www.sharenightclub.com/">www.sharenightclub.com</a>THE VEGAS STYLE GUYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05970342300412070727noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-571826114197343233.post-67694189345214940152011-11-08T22:34:00.000-08:002011-11-08T22:49:16.473-08:00How To Tie A Bow Tie with Michael From STITCHED<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-kad1W2qUFok/TroiY0E6kZI/AAAAAAAAAfM/VgseKHYgMdE/s1600/How%2BTo%2BTie%2BA%2BBow%2BTie.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 180px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-kad1W2qUFok/TroiY0E6kZI/AAAAAAAAAfM/VgseKHYgMdE/s320/How%2BTo%2BTie%2BA%2BBow%2BTie.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5672884490318025106" /></a><br /><br />Moi is forever trying to learn how to tie a Bow Tie. Recently, I stopped into my fave fashion establishment, STITCHED at The Comopolitan and had Michael do his best to teach me how to do what should be a rather simple thing.<br /><br />Should be.<br /><br />Well, Michael does the best at explaining this of anyone I have ever seen, and yet, I STILL can't do it!<br /><br />Good Luck!<br /><br /><iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/FrQcc9PGeSg" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br /><br /><a href="http://www.stitchedlifestyle.com/">STITCHED</a><br />The Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas <br />3708 Las Vegas Boulevard South <br />Las Vegas, NV 89109THE VEGAS STYLE GUYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05970342300412070727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-571826114197343233.post-2076506390098536102011-10-22T13:18:00.000-07:002011-10-22T13:52:42.713-07:00Downtown Las Vegas: The Beat<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-4BvHToOyw34/TqMsPZl_GsI/AAAAAAAAAes/e4eu0Mphaxs/s1600/the%2Bbeat%2Bwindow.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 179px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-4BvHToOyw34/TqMsPZl_GsI/AAAAAAAAAes/e4eu0Mphaxs/s320/the%2Bbeat%2Bwindow.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5666421399242087106" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br />"Where everybody knows your name..."<br /><br />If you have ever heard the theme song from "Cheers" and got that warm et fuzzy feeling then you will feel right at home at the only cool coffeehouse / hang in Las Vegas, "The Beat."<br /><br />I have yet to settle down for a spot of work here and not run into everyone.<br /><br />Who. Is. Anyone.<br /><br />Really. I swear.<br /><br />From politicians to local starlets (Hello Princess Ann!), this is the place to sit back and watch the world go by Vegas style. I could come here for the people watching alone, however, where else can you also decide to throw some Rolling Stones or "Thank God It's Friday" on the record player (NOT JUKEBOX! Thank you very much!) while you are munching on some of the house specialties and discussing the state of everything? <br /><br />With everyone.<br /><br />I ask?<br /><br />So.<br /><br />Let's get down to the munchables. Shall we?<br /><br />We shall.<br /><br />My own personal fave is the Croque Monsieur, a delicious, cheesy bit of perfection. Let's be honest here, you slap some dead pig on a crunchy bread and smother it in tangy cheese and you have this chubbette in your hands like a Kardashian in front of a camera.<br /><br />Smitten.<br /><br />You can pretty much order anything here and be more than happy. Most everyone I know loves the "Slap & Tickle."<br /><br />Oh. Stop. Dirty minds are the Devils bocce ball court.<br /><br />"Slap & Tickle" is The Beat's own little take on the classic Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich.<br /><br />Well. After you add Bacon and Jalapenos.<br /><br />You do add Bacon and Jalapenos. Don't you?<br /><br />Well. Now. You. Will.<br /><br />Owners, Jennifer and Michael Cornthwaite are what one might call "Downtown Royalty". Much like their counterparts further south in the Downtown Arts District (officially the "18b District" but I can't stand that name. Sounds like it's trying to hard to be Austin. Or someplace with good public transportation.) have been flying the Downtown flag for years and years before local politicians decided it was a good applause line to tout "the revitalization of Downtown" (spare me.). The Beat is located in the much larger "Emergency Arts Center" where, especially on the weekends, you are bound to find everything from great art, vintage LP's (it's a vinyl disc that makes music magically appear.), art, fashion and even a fancy hairdresser and hip production company. <br /><br />I believe in airline terms, it's a "hub".<br /><br />Of cultura.<br /><br />Hints:<br /><br />Get a table near the window if you want to be left alone. You won't be, but, you will look dramatic and rather Zelda Fitzgerald sitting by the window in an Edward Hopper sorta way. When your friends see you, the first thing they will think is, "they've taken up reading." Or some such flattery.<br /><br />Park at The El Cortez. But. Make sure you walk through the casino to The Beat just across the street. <br /><br />Why? Well, I said so. Oh, you need a reason? Fine. because it is the coolest place on the planet! <br /><br />Okay?<br /><br />Block at least two hours to be there and expect to stay longer. Once you settle in, you may never want to leave. Me? I take my meetings there. Back to back. I have gone from early am to sundown sitting my life away in my Zelda table many a day.<br /><br />It's that cool.<br /><br />Oh yeah.<br /><br />They have coffee too.<br /><br />THE BEAT<br />520 Fremont St<br />Ste 101<br />Las Vegas, NV 89101<br />(702) 409-5563 <br />www.thebeatlv.com<br /><br />Hours:<br />Mon-Fri 7 am - 12 am<br />Sat 9 am - 12 am<br />Sun 9 am - 5 pm<br />Takes Reservations: No<br />Accepts Credit Cards: Yes<br />Parking: Garage, Street, Valet<br />Attire: Casual<br />Good for Groups: Yes<br />Good for Kids: No<br />Price Range: $ <br />Delivery: No<br />Take-out: Yes<br />Waiter Service: No<br />Outdoor Seating: No<br />Wi-Fi: Free<br />Good For: Lunch<br />Music: Juke Box<br />Best Nights: Fri, Thu, Sat<br />Happy Hour: Yes<br />Alcohol: Beer & Wine Only<br />Smoking: No<br />Coat Check: No<br />Noise Level: Average<br />Good For Dancing: No<br />Ambience: Hipster, Casual<br />Has TV: No<br />Wheelchair Accessible: YesTHE VEGAS STYLE GUYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05970342300412070727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-571826114197343233.post-31657694391479540532011-06-24T18:35:00.001-07:002011-06-24T20:34:13.910-07:00What's This Thing Called Holsteins And Why Did I Ever Eat There?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8K-2R0MyAs8/TgVIo35IY9I/AAAAAAAAAeQ/lNH5LybGWZc/s1600/Holsteins.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 158px; height: 158px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8K-2R0MyAs8/TgVIo35IY9I/AAAAAAAAAeQ/lNH5LybGWZc/s320/Holsteins.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5621979576877474770" /></a><br /><br />Moi J'adores The Cosmopolitan.<br /><br />It is chic in a totally non-fussy way. There is ample seating which is a rarity in Las Vegas and unheard of on Le Strip. The art is funky and world class. All in all, The Cosmopolitan is exactly what this burgh has needed for a long time. A hip and urbane place that locals can dig even while surrounded by Tourist Girls in Sausage Casing Skank Dresses.<br /><br />Did I mention, J'adore The Cosmopolitan?<br /><br />Well. I do.<br /><br />Fuckin' Holsteins, on the other hand, should be 86'd from The Cosmo as it drags down the property like that fat dude Sandra Bullock was married to at a Bat Mitzvah. <br /><br />Way total bummer.<br /><br />So.<br /><br />Me and The Bestie decided to sashay over to The Cosmo to check out the "secret Pizza place". Upon entering Moi decides it isn't quite what I am looking for at the moment.<br /><br />I say, "let's go to Holsteins."<br /><br />Cue ominous music.<br /><br />"Don't go in the basement White girl!"<br /><br />My first clue as to where the evening would be going was when we were greeted by the hostess. About 12, she was dressed in a dowdy outfit that looked like nuns forced her to wear it due to the itchy underbits that kept a tortured grimace on her innocent, Squirrel in the headlights face.<br /><br />"Um, we're, um, really, um busy. It's like a hour wait, un, I think. But, you can eat in the waiting, bar sorta area."<br /><br />Okaaay.<br /><br />So.<br /><br />We sat and waited for our waitress.<br /><br />Who knew we could have read the first three chapters of a Suze Orman book in the time it took for our server to arrive?<br /><br />Who. Knew.<br /><br />So.<br /><br />The Bestie loves dark meat. <br /><br />But. <br /><br />That's a whole 'nother story. <br /><br />Where was I?<br /><br />Oh. Yeah.<br /><br />He orders a "WELL DONE" whatever Burger. I order the Kimchee thingee Medium Rare. We were asked what kind of fries we wanted? I said the chip things and I forget what The Bestie ordered. It would turn out to matter. Later.<br /><br />We also ordered two of their signature Milk Shakes. Lactose intolerant Negro that I am, I still could not resist two of my favorite fat boy things combined, booze and Ice Cream! They were all right. In fact, they were the best thing about this whole Gawdawful, I'd rather be sitting through an endless loop of "Trog" starring Joan Crawford during her "A Bitch needs a job, ok?" period, Holsteins experience.<br /><br />About 3 hrs later the server..oh, wait, did I mention this was like the third server we had seen by this point?<br /><br />Didn't I?<br /><br />Silly Me.<br /><br />"W-T-F!" screeched the bestie.<br /><br />Rememember, he had ordered "WELL DONE!" This looked like one of those partial birth abortions that Republicans are always going on about. <br /><br />Umbilical cord and all.<br /><br />Really. I swear.<br /><br />Now. It gets GOOD.<br /><br />Our server (like #15 at this point) had the temerity to say with a straight face to The Bestie who was bugged out by all the blood in front of him, "That's our version of 'WELL DONE!'" <br /><br />Really? <br /><br />No, seriously?<br /><br />It's a good thing Sally Field didn't have to go up against this Bitch when they were casting for Norma Rae. That would have been an Oscar she would never have put on her commode shelf. The utter sincerity with which she said it was Gobsmackingly audacious and worthy of not only an Oscar, but, the ultimate glory, A GOLDEN GLOBE!<br /><br />So.<br /><br />I said "you need to take that back and burn it." Server #15 started away. "Um, excuse me, but, you need to take mine as well", says Moi. "Why?" says #15. "Because I don't want to be eating my food while he has none." <br /><br />At this point #15 is truly going for for the triple crown, she's going to add an EMMY! <br /><br />Daytime. <br /><br />"What's wrong with that?"<br /><br />Why nothing. <br /><br />Nothing at all. <br /><br />If you were born of Lesbian Wolves. <br /><br />Who the hell would eat in front of a fellow diner for Gawd only knows how long it was going to take while whomever brought back The Besties burger?<br /><br />As. If.<br /><br />So.<br /><br />Along comes, I kid you not, servers #16 AND #17! Two pimple faced kids who looked like they just won a bad acid trip to Willy Wonkas Chocolate Factory on "Underwear Night". Guess what they brought us? No. Really. Guess.<br /><br />Give up?<br /><br />Two <span style="font-style:italic;">entirely</span> wrong burgers.<br /><br />"IT'S NOT MY FAULT! I JUST BROUGHT OUT WHAT THEY GAVE ME!", said Wednesday Adams. "I'M JUST A RUNNER!", said Bobby Brady as he sulked away.<br /><br />"What's the problem?" It was #15. Yet. Again. <br /><br />"Well, other than your Kansas City Bomber attitude" I silently thought in my grade school Russian, "these burgers are BOTH wrong." <br /><br />Eyes rolled as she snatched the plates up and shoved them at Wednesday with a gruff send off to whatever table they were meant for not knowing whether or not I had flavored them with Coke boogers, or whatever.<br /><br />FINALLY, we got the burgers we ordered correctly cooked.<br /><br />They were OK.<br /><br />Just.<br /><br />THEN.<br /><br />The bill arrived. <br /><br />I have never wanted to see a bill so badly in my entire life. <br /><br />Well. At least one that I was paying. Trust. MANY times I have been glad to see a bill arrive, but, that's because a wrinkly old white hand covered in liver spots would finally have something to do other than trying fondle me whilst I simply wanted to enjoy my Creme Brulee.<br /><br />That Tyler Brulee guy is sorta hot.<br /><br />But. I digress.<br /><br />Where was I?<br /><br />Oh. Yeah. The fucking bill.<br /><br />After 17 servers and what seemed like enough time to give a coffee enema to the Ed Hardy wearing tourists next to us, the bill was $65! <br /><br />So. It took SIX burgers to get the order right. Those "what kind of fries would you like?" were not what came with the burger. Oh. No. They were extra. The shakes while good had come at the cost of a meal that SOMEHOW added up to about three times what I would normally want to pay IF it had come through a window with a Clowns head attached. If only.<br /><br />So.<br /><br />I wrote quite a little letter on the "How Did We Do?" card.<br /><br />Stop.<br /><br />"How Did We Do?"<br /><br />Are you fucking kidding me? Did Pol Pot give out such cruel cards after a "visit"?<br /><br />I wrote all over that thing and sent it back WITH my card to pay for this little bit of no reason for cows to have died for. <br /><br />Oh, yes I did.<br /><br />And you know what happened?<br /><br />They committed the Ultimate Las Vegas Sin.<br /><br />No. Not signing Shania Twain for a long term run. She's got like two songs and a bad divorce, am I right?<br /><br />No. <br /><br />Worse.<br /><br />No manager came out to see if "something was wrong?" No anything taken off the bill. No care whatsoever that a customer was NOT a happy camper.<br /><br />Nada. Zilch. Bupkus (or however you spell that).<br /><br />Just "give us your money and Sod Off!"<br /><br />Numerous calls and Tweets later, still, NOTHING.<br /><br />So.<br /><br />If you are simply dying for a burger.<br /><br />On a desert island.<br /><br />With Rush Limbaugh.<br /><br />And a branch of Holsteins.<br /><br />Eat Rush.<br /><br />At least you might get a Viagra boner.<br /><br />The Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas <br />3708 Las Vegas Boulevard South <br />Las Vegas, NV 89109<br /><br />Holsteins<br />Who Gives a crap.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.urbanspoon.com/r/18/1551449/restaurant/The-Strip/Holsteins-Cosmopolitan-Las-Vegas"><img alt="Holsteins (Cosmopolitan) on Urbanspoon" src="http://www.urbanspoon.com/b/link/1551449/biglink.gif" style="border:none;width:200px;height:146px" /></a>THE VEGAS STYLE GUYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05970342300412070727noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-571826114197343233.post-25137369860728296432011-04-30T16:04:00.000-07:002011-04-30T16:57:36.952-07:00HEAVEN IS BACK AND EDUARDO CORDOVA PRESENTS IT!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-x2cMCGqXy4U/Tbyh4XYGqXI/AAAAAAAAAd8/Iq_Noy3cBrM/s1600/heaven_dedicated.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 192px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-x2cMCGqXy4U/Tbyh4XYGqXI/AAAAAAAAAd8/Iq_Noy3cBrM/s320/heaven_dedicated.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5601530026261916018" /></a><br />I've never been to Moscow.<br /><br />I've never been to Shanghai.<br /><br />I have been to Tijuana.<br /><br />But we don't talk about that anymore.<br /><br />By order of the Border Patrol.<br /><br />Where was I?<br /><br />Oh. Yes.<br /><br />I have been to HEAVEN!<br /><br />Ok look, I already told you we can't talk about T.J.! <br /><br />I'm talking about HEAVEN, the best ever club in the history of the known LGBT universe in Las Vegas!<br /><br />Of course it is an "Eduardo Cordova Presents" affaire! That's Francais for Hella Good Ass Partay!<br /><br />Well.<br /><br />The best dimples North of The Rio Grande is bringing back HEAVEN for the summer of '11! Yes, Heeeeee's Baaaaack!<br /><br />Only this summer it is going to be even mas slammin' than ever before!<br /><br />Ho,w you may ask.<br /><br />I said you may.<br /><br />Ask.<br /><br />Duh.<br /><br />Here's how.<br /><br />Bitch.<br /><br />Of course HEAVEN is back at the BARE POOL at The Mirage!<br /><br />Of. Course.<br /><br />At tonight's Le Opening Grande E to The C will be serving up a special performance by Erika Jayne! <br /><br />In addition, Super Duper Star DJ Chris Cox will be whirling the jams to make the dance floor rock like a big girl!<br /><br />Did I mention that dancefloor is is suspended on plexiglass over the pool at BARE?<br /><br />Really.<br /><br />I swear.<br /><br />BUT WAIT! THERE'S MAS!<br /><br />We're being INVADED Y'ALL!<br /><br />And that's a good thing!<br /><br />Steve Machuca & Woody Woddbeck (I swear I didn't make that name up!) are bringing us a Bus Load of "California Boys" from West Hollywood! <br /><br />Yum. Imported fresh meat!<br /><br />Uh, I mean, fun tourist dudes.<br /><br />Yeah. That's what I meant.<br /><br />Well. <br /><br />Aren't you all fired up?<br /><br />Aren't you?<br /><br />Of course you are.<br /><br />Silly.<br /><br />HEAVEN happens TONIGHT at the BARE Pool at The Mirage starting at 1030pm and ending when you see the 1,500th American Apparel Deep V-Neck T-shirt. <br /><br />Obviously I don't have to get on the guest list, but, you really should drop an internet thingee to Ivanvegas@ymail.com and get on his list to make sure you and yours are there to enjoy the hottest night in the LGBT, HEAVEN!<br /><br />HEAVEN AT THE BARE POOL <br />THE MIRAGE RESORT AND CASINO<br />3400 S. Las Vegas Blvd., Las Vegas, NV 89109 <br /><br /><iframe width="560" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/9kh3OVLOUgw" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>THE VEGAS STYLE GUYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05970342300412070727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-571826114197343233.post-26555801871748833932011-04-24T16:31:00.000-07:002011-04-24T16:57:06.476-07:00Think YOU'RE The Gay BFF? Find Out Tonight At "Closet Sundays"!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-iysGyJKj1cI/TbS4zS2DxGI/AAAAAAAAAd0/gnAf7i0thQs/s1600/closet%2Bsundays%2Bbff.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 300px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-iysGyJKj1cI/TbS4zS2DxGI/AAAAAAAAAd0/gnAf7i0thQs/s320/closet%2Bsundays%2Bbff.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5599303428099785826" /></a><br />Well.<br /><br />As any regular reader of my stream of consciousness ramblings on Style and The Glamorous Life knows, Moi only comes out of my Lair during the late night for one person.<br /><br />No, not Johnny Walker.<br /><br />Bitch.<br /><br />No, not Kim Kardashian. <br /><br />I only like the fat one and the soon to be bulimic new sister.<br /><br />Moi only comes out during DUI checkpoint time for the most adorable promoter in the LV.<br /><br />EDUARDO CORDOVA!<br /><br />Really.<br /><br />I swear.<br /><br />Well.<br /><br />Tonight everyone's favorite eye candy behind a velvet rope is hosting a totally new contest!<br /><br />You know how I just love a contest.<br /><br />Well. <br /><br />As long as there isn't a swimsuit portion.<br /><br />Or congeniality. <br /><br />I am more the type to put pepper in your bikini bottom than make friends backstage.<br /><br />Where was I?<br /><br />Oh.<br /><br />Yes.<br /><br />So.<br /><br />Tonight Mr. Dimples from Cutiepie Land Cordova is having a contest to see who is THE Gay BFF!<br /><br />As I mentioned previously, I am NOT the one, so I have decided to not try for this crown.<br /><br />But.<br /><br />Others have. A MUCH nicer bunch than Moiself.<br /><br />They are:<br /><br />Benjamin Bradley<br />Brandon Pereyda<br />Johnny Espinosa<br />Chris Saldana<br />Patrick Chan<br />Ethan Carvalho<br />Andy Du Bois<br />Armando Macias<br />Jake Callotta<br />Jorge Garcia-Solorio<br />Ivan Rodriguez<br />Jorge Martinez Schwarzbeck<br />and<br />Jonathan Morgan<br /><br />It seems that the premise is whomever brings the most friends to CLOSET SUNDAYS tonight will receive the following:<br /><br />WINNER TO RECEIVE:<br />ONE NIGHT STAY AT THE MIRAGE<br />DINNER FOR 2 AT STACK<br />COMP BOTTLE AT ANY LIGHT GROUP LGBT EVENT<br /><br />Woo.<br /><br />Hoo.<br /><br />BUT WAIT!<br /><br />THERE'S MORE!<br /><br />Did you doubt?<br /><br />In addition to the spectacle of seeing all of those Gays making niceee to win a night in a room that doesn't charge by the hour, there will be a SPECIAL PERFORMANCE BY LADY KIMORA!<br /><br />Oooh.<br /><br />Weee.<br /><br />As always there will be Le Specials Du Potato Juice.<br /><br />That's VODKA!<br /><br />Keep up.<br /><br />Something called "COORS" is also on special.<br /><br />Hmm, does one drink that with an umbrella?<br /><br />Olives?<br /><br />Whatevers.<br /><br />I'm sure it's tasty when it's on special.<br /><br />What isn't?<br /><br />For those of you who are not me (and most of you aren't), you can call 702-693-8300 to get on the guest list.<br /><br />You can also follow Eduardo (No, not from behind you little perv.) at Twitter Freak! Simply click in @EDUARDOPRESENTS.COM on your internet machine.<br /><br />You do know that box is good for things other than Porn?<br /><br />Don't you?<br /><br />Eww.<br /><br />TEXT "CLOSET" TO 25827 FOR UPDATES AND OFFERS ON ALL CLOSET SUNDAY EVENTS!<br /><br />The party starts at 10pm and ends when I have to tell you to get rid of your boyfriend.<br /><br />Closet Sundays<br />The Mirage Resort & Casino<br />3400 S. Las Vegas Blvd., Las Vegas, NV 89109<br /><br />Why are you still here?<br /><br />Shouldn't you be practicing your moves in front of the mirror?<br /><br />No. Not THAT move!<br /><br />The one you can do on a dance floor!<br /><br />Puta.<br /><br />LADY KIMORA<br /><br /><iframe title="YouTube video player" width="425" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/uuCBhDJ88xQ?hd=1" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>THE VEGAS STYLE GUYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05970342300412070727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-571826114197343233.post-12754544568932861302011-04-24T16:24:00.000-07:002011-04-24T16:29:39.734-07:00SORDID LIVES TONIGHT! FREE SCREENING!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-jjnhzsonUrI/TbSx5TRgs5I/AAAAAAAAAds/aSeaSkxHlNs/s1600/sordidlives.jpeg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 280px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-jjnhzsonUrI/TbSx5TRgs5I/AAAAAAAAAds/aSeaSkxHlNs/s320/sordidlives.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5599295834712748946" /></a><br />We become intimate with the <a href="http://youtu.be/akeS3IDi4Oc">"Sordid Lives"</a> of a family in a small Texas town preparing for the funeral of the mother. Among the characters are the grandson trying to find his identity in West Hollywood, the son who has spent the past twenty-three years dressed as Tammy Wynette, the sister and her best friend (who live in delightfully kitschy homes), and the two daughters (one strait-laced and one quite a bit looser).<br /> <br /><iframe title="YouTube video player" width="425" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/0_y7p39P0Cw?hd=1" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br /><br /><br />The sreening is FREE and is followed by a lively discussion.<br /> <br />Sunday, April 24 · 6:00pm - 8:30pm TONIGHT!!!<br /> <br />Snacks, soda and beer are available for purchase.<br /> <br />Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Las Vegas 3616 Lake Mead Blvd. Las Vegas, NV 89115THE VEGAS STYLE GUYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05970342300412070727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-571826114197343233.post-5205862926090730412011-03-27T17:32:00.000-07:002011-03-27T18:03:27.358-07:00HAVE U EVER SPENT A SUNDAY NITE WITH EDUARDO CORDOVA? ESTELLE WILL, TONIGHT!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-DTgG2rRkaz4/TY_divRucMI/AAAAAAAAAdk/Xp9egIvW528/s1600/estelleatjet.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 262px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-DTgG2rRkaz4/TY_divRucMI/AAAAAAAAAdk/Xp9egIvW528/s320/estelleatjet.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5588929251466178754" /></a><br />As you well know, Moi rarely leaves the comfy confines of The GayBoyClub in Ghetto Vallarta.<br /><br />You do know. Correct?<br /><br />It's about Moi, therefore, you should know.<br /><br />Really.<br /><br />I swear.<br /><br />Life is sooo good at The GBC that one seldom sees the need to venture beyond the gated drive.<br /><br />Seldom.<br /><br />Well.<br /><br />If there's one person who can always get moi to put on a wig hat and some high heel sneakers, it's E to the C.<br /><br />You know silly, Eduardo Cordova!<br /><br />As if there would be any other reason.<br /><br />Ok, Cristiano Ronaldo would get me into my Prada.<br /><br />But.<br /><br />I digress.<br /><br />TONIGHT!<br /><br />Eduardo Cordova Presents is hosting one of the very few Divas more Divaliscious than Moiself.<br /><br />ESTELLE!<br /><br />Yes, the warbling dancefloor Diva will be in the hizzouse at JET Nightclub for SUNDANZE! This is yet another mucho funno baile from Eduardo Cordova Presents.<br /><br />Yet. Another.<br /><br />Miss Thang will be performing LIVE and DJ Michael Paul will be twisting knobs and burning vinyl in the muzak booth!<br /><br />Yes.<br /><br />You will wave your hands.<br /><br />In the air.<br /><br />I wave mine like I just don't care.<br /><br />Don't try that at home kiddies.<br /><br />You might hurt yourself.<br /><br />The doors open at 10:30 and for those of you with more style than greenage, you can get in free until the hands on the tic toc are in the same place by emailing EDUARDOPRESENTS@GMAIL.COM .<br /><br />Obviously Moi doesn't have to do that.<br /><br />I was born on the guest list.<br /><br />I'm. Jes. Sayin'. <br /><br />Did you doubt?<br /><br />What?<br /><br />Did I mention that there will be Go Go's?<br /><br />No, not Belinda or Jane.<br /><br />Hot ones!<br /><br />Why are you still reading this?<br /><br />Shouldn't you be somewhere getting a Brazil wax?<br /><br />Between your eyes.<br /><br />That look only works in Tashkent.<br /><br />EDUARDO CORDOVA PRESENTS<br />SUNDANZE @ JET Nightclub at The Mirage<br />3400 Las Vegas Boulevard South<br />Las Vegas, NV 89109<br /><br />To Reserve the VIP for you and your Mean Girls give a ringle to 702-792-7900 .<br /><br />1030pm - until Linsday Lohan shows up (that's always the time to leave).<br /><br />Follow Eduardo Cordova Presents on Twitter at @EDUARDOPRESENTS<br /><br /><br /><br /><iframe title="YouTube video player" width="560" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/XTag-wMaRlo?hd=1" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>THE VEGAS STYLE GUYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05970342300412070727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-571826114197343233.post-7984300400413514522011-03-17T13:58:00.000-07:002011-03-17T14:00:45.920-07:00Leather Couture Jewelry by Jessica Galindo<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-P5Df-_HRe4I/TYJ2eNHsBfI/AAAAAAAAAdY/KQq4nqDUz-c/s1600/pray%2Bplay.png"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 169px; height: 95px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-P5Df-_HRe4I/TYJ2eNHsBfI/AAAAAAAAAdY/KQq4nqDUz-c/s320/pray%2Bplay.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585156749182895602" /></a><br />Meet Jessica Galindo as she shows you her jewelry collection, "Leather Couture by Jessica Galindo". The prices are way affordable! I have bought and given away scads of her line!<br /><br /><iframe title="YouTube video player" width="560" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/wNnSj1AhtAo?hd=1" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>THE VEGAS STYLE GUYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05970342300412070727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-571826114197343233.post-41959608811913640132011-02-20T08:43:00.000-08:002011-07-06T14:53:27.928-07:00WHO OWNS SUNDAYS ON THE STRIP? ONLY THE BEST DIMPLES EVER! EDUARDO CORDOVA PRESENTS: SUNDANZE!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-WbryPmWTGds/TWFMLggzW9I/AAAAAAAAAdI/uqOYJUZH5iY/s1600/eudardopresents.jpeg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 180px; height: 270px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-WbryPmWTGds/TWFMLggzW9I/AAAAAAAAAdI/uqOYJUZH5iY/s320/eudardopresents.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5575821574251174866" /></a><br />I have dimples.<br /><br />If we're not dating you'll never see them.<br /><br />If we are dating you'll never see them.<br /><br />I have perfected backing out of a room post amorous activity.<br /><br />Perfected.<br /><br />No one needs to see that.<br /><br />Eduardo Cordova's dimples are there for everyone to see and you don't have to be dating him.<br /><br />No. He's not a slut.<br /><br />Really.<br /><br />I swear.<br /><br />E to the C's dimples are on his adorable little mug.<br /><br />And.<br /><br />Tonight you can see them at his raging club SUNDANZE at JET!<br /><br />Yup.<br /><br />The King of Sunday nights is back and partnering on the hottest Sunday night sweatfest in town with the legendary <a href="http://www.jeffreysanker.com/">Jeffrey Sanker</a> at JET Nightclub.<br /><br />You know Jeffrey don't you?<br /><br />He taught you how to wave your hands in the air.<br /><br />I wave mine like I just don't care.<br /><br />Yes.<br /><br />Now you remember.<br /><br />Yeah, this aint your first time on the <a href="www.JustCircuit.com">circuit</a>.<br /><br />Bitch.<br /><br />Maybe he's on <a href="http://www.grindr.com/Grindr_iPhone_App/Grindr_-Meet_Guys_Near_You_on_your_iPhone.html">GRINDR</a>?<br /><br />Tonight's Boite is a Go Go filled night of Aural sex and the one and only <a href="http://www.katdeluna.com/">Kat De Luna!</a><br /><br />The. One.<br /><br />And. Only.<br /><br />Recognize.<br /><br />Don't make me "Whine Up" on yo ass.<br /><br /><iframe title="YouTube video player" width="425" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/jcMXZjYqIog?hd=1" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br /><br />The Muzak will be spun round and round by DJ's Wayne G and Roger Gangi.<br /><br />Loud.<br /><br />The partay starts at 1030pm and ends when I have to tell you Yo tracks are showing.<br /><br />Wanna know more?<br /><br />Duh.<br /><br />Of course you do.<br /><br />Of. Course. You. Do.<br /><br />BUY TICKETS NOW!<br /><a href="http://lightgroup.com/sundanze/">http://lightgroup.com/sundanze/</a><br /><br />FOR RESERVATIONS CALL 702-792-7900 <br />DOORS @ 10:30PM | SHIRTS OFF! <br /><br />SPECIAL ROOM RATES: CALL 1-800-627-6667 <br />PROMO CODE: SUNDANZE<br /><br />SUNDANZE - MONTHLY DANCE EVENT - INSIDE JET NIGHTCLUB<br />VIDEO: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTag-wMaRlo<br /><br /><a href="http://www.eduardopresents.com/">WWW.EDUARDOPRESENTS.COM</a><br />FOLLOW US ON TWITTER@EDUARDOPRESENTS<br /><br /><br />FACEBOOK.COM/JET-NIGHTCLUB<br /><br /><br /><br /><!-- AddThis Button BEGIN --><br /><div class="addthis_toolbox addthis_default_style "><br /><a class="addthis_button_facebook_like" fb:like:layout="button_count"></a><br /><a class="addthis_button_tweet"></a><br /><a class="addthis_counter addthis_pill_style"></a><br /></div><br /><script type="text/javascript">var addthis_config = {"data_track_clickback":true};</script><br /><script type="text/javascript" src="http://s7.addthis.com/js/250/addthis_widget.js#pubid=ra-4e14d8e10c816464"></script><br /><!-- AddThis Button END -->THE VEGAS STYLE GUYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05970342300412070727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-571826114197343233.post-86034838343351994812011-02-20T08:29:00.000-08:002011-02-20T08:38:08.412-08:00OFF THE STRIP WORTH THE TRIP: THE JUKE JOINT<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-8RZXInwjMu8/TWFCR1MaesI/AAAAAAAAAdA/XK9EIXQLSHc/s1600/Smothered%2BChicken%2Bat%2BThe%2BJuke%2BJoint.jpeg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-8RZXInwjMu8/TWFCR1MaesI/AAAAAAAAAdA/XK9EIXQLSHc/s320/Smothered%2BChicken%2Bat%2BThe%2BJuke%2BJoint.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5575810687765740226" /></a><br />Welcome to The Juke Joint.<br /><br />Understand that this is like being at your Grandmas house. <br /><br />Everything is made to order and it will take 20-30 minutes to get your food and something will probably be forgotten. There are only plastic forks and Styrofoam dinnerware. <br /><br />If you are a snob, you're screwed. <br /><br />I broke up with a guy because all he did was complain the entire time he was here about how "Ghetto" it was. The Juke Joint is not "Ghetto", it's like a real Southern Place that you find on a road trip and can't wait to get back to. <br /><br />The decor is really cute and quaint with Kente Cloth colors and photos of Black heroes sprinkled about the place. Even the bathroom is charming with commandments and funny sayings sprinkled about.<br /><br />The Cornish Hen with two sides is my fave here, but, it's only on Sundays and will probably be gone by the time you get here. If it's available, get it with Greens and Yams.<br /><br />My other jammy jam is the Smothered Chicken (also includes two sides). I rock that with Black Eyed Peas and Mac & Cheese. The Mac & Cheese is GOOEY! Yes! I always just act a pig up in here and order the Yams as an extra as well. <br /><br />The Gumbo is hella good, but, the portion is tiny (because it's SO good) and you really want two or three bowls. <br /><br />Other than the food what's the best part about the Juke Joint? The prices! The specials are in the $10.95 range and the Gumbo is around $6. Three of us ate full meals with doggy bags and it came to less than $45!<br /><br />Wash it all down with some Koolaid (Red) and The Juke Joint will be your joint for authentic Soul Food.<br /><br />2362 Lexington Street, Las Vegas, NV 89106-2206<br />(702) 647-4411 THE VEGAS STYLE GUYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05970342300412070727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-571826114197343233.post-90959548622500370112011-01-18T22:50:00.000-08:002011-01-18T23:11:51.717-08:00EVEN CRAZY NEEDS A SPACKLE NOW AND THEN or IS THIS WHAT THEY MEANT BY LIPSTICK ON A PIG?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_gcpKVDiyuNg/TTaMKbNNjaI/AAAAAAAAAcc/GcV_YMyy2Lk/s1600/sharron%2Bangle.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 287px; height: 313px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_gcpKVDiyuNg/TTaMKbNNjaI/AAAAAAAAAcc/GcV_YMyy2Lk/s320/sharron%2Bangle.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5563788500392578466" /></a><br />Just when the world seemed back to normal.<br /> <br />It’s baaaaack!<br /><br />Not Snooki.<br /><br />Though she <span style="font-style:italic;">is</span> back with a whole new drunken season of mirth and arrests at the Jersey Shore.<br /><br />Not The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.<br /><br />Though they <span style="font-style:italic;">are </span>back with faces that don’t move and husbands that do (is Camille a punk Bitch or what?).<br /><br />No.<br /><br />Just when you thought it was safe to go back in to the brackish water that is Nevada politics, along comes the scariest fish that’s ever crawled out of the upper reaches of the Truckee River.<br /><br />Sharron “Remember me Pablito ,or, are you Quan Lee?” Angle IS BAAAAACK!<br /><br />And this time……………she’s got a spackle brush!<br /><br />Zut Alors! Quelle not cute! <br /><br />Quelle.<br /><br />Yup, as hard as it is to believe, much like Nosferatu, La Angle is rebirthing herself as a Celebrity guest star at a Multi-Level Marketing, low rent, Mary Kay-esque makeup event in Downtown La Vegas! <br /><br />I guess if you were wondering how many levels of Hell there really are, you now know.<br /><br />There are MULTI-levels. <br /><br />And on this level Sharron Angle is working the cosmetics counter at some sort of “has it come to this Gurl?” reality show on CMT.<br /><br />Level one.<br /><br />Right over there by the escalator leading to the bargain basement.<br /><br />Down.<br /><br />At this point I would normally just riff on some crazy ideas about what an invite to “Desperate Housewives: What The Fuck Happened?” would read like. Unfortunately, even my rapier wit and sardonic take on politics and life can’t possibly equal what the invite REALLY fuckin’ says.<br /><br />To whit:<br /><br />“Sharron will be sharing her beauty and makeup challenges during the campaign and how she overcame them!<br /> She had confidence that she would look great with 14 -16 hour days & with numerous appearances daily...<br />so can you!”<br /><br />No. I. Can’t!<br /><br />Remember the first time you saw “WTF” and wondered what that meant? <br /><br />It means, “WHAT THE FUCK?!?”<br /><br />So.<br /><br />WTF?!?<br /><br />Pinch me.<br /><br />No. Not in a sexual way. I don’t like that.<br /><br />Anymore.<br /><br />Pinch me so I can make sure that I’m not dreaming that all of my dreams have not only come true, but, landed in my lap like a drunken hooker hitting the tiles in Charlie Sheen’s bathroom! <br /><br />BLAP!<br /><br />It gets better.<br /><br />Really.<br /><br />I swear.<br /><br />“Please be our guest... you will be glad you did!<br /><br />* Girlfriend time<br />* Chat with Sharron<br />* Learn some new make-up tips & techniques<br />* Find out about an amazing revolutionary<br />skin care line<br />(guaranteed to take 55% of your fine lines and wrinkles away in 8 weeks!) NO kidding!<br />* Free gift for all who attend<br />Sounds fun, right? I think so too!<br />See you there!”<br /><br />Girlfriend time with La Loca?<br /><br />Chat moments with The Child of The Corn from The Village of The Damned?<br /><br />All this AND free grub, gift bags (NRA pot holders, please God!) and sharing makeup tips with the one woman I have NEVER ASSOCIATED with anything more glamorous than a tractor pull in Pahrump!<br /><br />This is DELISH!<br /><br />Sweet Jesus, what have I done to deserve this?<br /><br />All of my fretting that Sharron “Why no, I <span style="font-style:italic;">am</span> stupid. Thank you for asking.” Angle was going to come back all Mighty Mouse to save the day for the Nevada Tea Party has come to this?<br /><br />A live infomercial that even Holly Madison probably said no to?<br /><br />Aiyee, how bad is that if Holly turns your shit down?<br /><br />She banged Heff!<br /><br />Fret no more.<br /><br />Sharron’s back and she’s just one of the girls next door!<br /><br />From the last subdivision in Hell.<br /><br />You KNOW you can’t miss this.<br /><br />Can you?<br /><br />Just in case:<br /><br /> An evening with Joni Rogers-Kante, Founder & CEO of<br />SeneGence International,<br />featuring Makeup & Skincare Experts Jeri Taylor-Swade & Amber London<br />and special guest<br />Sharron Angle, former candidate for US Senate<br />Friday night, Jan. 21, 2011<br />6:00 - 8:30 pm<br />Held at the beautiful, modern, Meet Conference Center<br />233 South 4th Street<br />Las Vegas, NV 89101<br />MeetLasVegasConventionCenter<br /><br />See you there! <br /><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Q2DevqeEa7w?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Q2DevqeEa7w?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object>THE VEGAS STYLE GUYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05970342300412070727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-571826114197343233.post-45342358824638156982011-01-17T20:37:00.000-08:002011-01-17T22:26:11.473-08:00OFF THE STRIP WORTH THE TRIP: SATAY MALAYSIAN GRILLE<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_gcpKVDiyuNg/TTUt8l1xBxI/AAAAAAAAAcM/iqcfTIUfh0s/s1600/Bacon%2BWrapped%2BShrimp.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 180px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_gcpKVDiyuNg/TTUt8l1xBxI/AAAAAAAAAcM/iqcfTIUfh0s/s320/Bacon%2BWrapped%2BShrimp.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5563403433659139858" /></a><br />So sick Moi has been lately.<br /><br />Oy.<br /><br />And.<br /><br />Vey.<br /><br />In addition to fighting off a cold could only be God's revenge for my years without a moral compass ('06-'09,) I am now also getting rid of the weight gained during my Glam period ('09-'10). <br /><br />The extra 73lbs I managed to add to my already voluptuous frame is no longer cuddly.<br /><br />It's just gross. <br /><br />Of course I have figured out a way to satisfy my need for attention whilst losing copious amounts of flab.<br /><br />Of course.<br /><br />Moi is the new Gay face of TRIMCARE Medical Weight Loss program.<br /><br />It was only a matter of time.<br /><br />Sooner or later it was gonna be going all Jennifer Hudson or opening supermarkets in Henderson.<br /><br />But, Holly Madison has that market all to herself.<br /><br />Hmph.<br /><br />So.<br /><br />Where was I?<br /><br />Oh. Yes.<br /><br />I was fat, sick and hungry.<br /><br />That brings us to Satay Malaysian Grille.<br /><br />Really.<br /><br />I swear.<br /><br />As I lay reinterpreting the deathbed scene from Camille, The Candidate called and suggested I leave the confines of The GayBoyClub to find the nourishment I so obviously needed.<br /><br />Whilst not effing up my diet.<br /><br />Of course.<br /><br />Well.<br /><br />Nothing seemed more appealing than some flavorful and spicy Tom Yum soup ($9.50-12.50) at Satay Malaysian Grille. <br /><br />Nothing.<br /><br />Moi likes a place where everybody knows my name and Satay is that type of place. The whole vibe is laid back and friendly. You can roll in feeling your worst or be on a first date all shaved up and you're always treated like a friend regardless. And while the view of the parking lot isn't much, Satay does offer outdoor seating in addition to your normal dining room set up. My fave spot to chillax here is the ultra lounge looking area at the rear of the restaurant that's perfect for getting together with a group of friends to order everything on the appetizer menu over a few hours.<br /><br />My goal was soup and the Tom Yum did not fail me. Unlike my not so fave, Lotus of Siam, the cooks here understand that spicy doesn't have to mean everyone at the table should be crying like a 16 year old at her eighth screening of Black Swan. I asked for it to be cooked at level 7 and it cleared my nose while still leaving my palate intact.<br /><br />The Candidate ordered a big bowl of meaty Oxtail soup ($11.95) that had plenty of meat to keep him busy for the entire meal. Being the bad friend that he is, The Candidate also ordered probably my two favorite appetizers on Earth, Salt and Pepper Shrimp ($7.95) and Scallops wrapped in Bacon ($6.95). <br /><br />I whipped out my Android Calorie Counter and got to figuring. Luckily, I was still way under my allotted calories for the day and therefore, Moi dived in like a Pimp at bus station.<br /><br />The Shrimps are lightly coated and perfectly fried. The seasoning is exactly right. You taste the salt and pepper just enough to miss it as the taste disappears down your palate. The shrimp are as perfectly cooked as any fried shrimp ever has been. Delicate, yet firm enough that they don't break apart when you try and just eat a tiny bit at a time because you never want that plate to be empty.<br /><br />The Scallops manage to be light and well cooked even while the Bacon is cooked exactly to the point where it still has a meaty texture and is also perfectly crispy. On two skewers of four, this concoction will be my first cheat day meal when I've finally hit my goal weight.<br /><br />Of course I avoided the Roti bread with Curry dipping sauce($5.50) and Lumpia ($5.50) The Candidate also ordered. I'm nothing if not determined and strong of will. In my fat and I don't care days I've tasted both so I feel pretty safe telling you about them. The Roti is always a hit whenever I've hosted groups at Satay. The curry sauce is nice and light with a tiny bit of after kick. The Lumpia, on the other hand, is just like Lumpia everywhere. I will never understand what people see in Lumpia that is not made by someone's boyfriend's Mom. <br /><br />Of course Satay has all of the usual vittles you would expect in a South East Asian restaurant and you're safe with anything you order. I will suggest that you let the kitchen decide for you and just enjoy the flavor ride. They also have a really great Happy Hour menu from 3-6pm everyday and big screen TV's if you wanna kick it with friends and watch "The Game" (I have no idea what that means).<br /><br />SATAY MALAYSIAN GRILLE<br /><br />Everyday: 11 a.m. - 11 p.m.<br />Late Night Friday & Saturday 2 a.m.+<br /><br />SATAY Thai Bistro & Bar<br />3900 Paradise Rd, Suite N<br />Las Vegas, NV 89169<br /> <br />702-369-8788 <br /><br />www.sataylasvegas.comTHE VEGAS STYLE GUYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05970342300412070727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-571826114197343233.post-6270551604764324492011-01-17T20:13:00.000-08:002011-01-17T20:33:21.730-08:00PEOPLE THAT INTEREST ME<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_gcpKVDiyuNg/TTUXIkvOq0I/AAAAAAAAAcE/ezD0lCT8kqc/s1600/adrienne-maloof-nassif-photo.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 253px; height: 320px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_gcpKVDiyuNg/TTUXIkvOq0I/AAAAAAAAAcE/ezD0lCT8kqc/s320/adrienne-maloof-nassif-photo.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5563378350754278210" /></a><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">PACO ALVAREZ</span> (Because he can say "Museologist" and mean it)<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">HELENA BONHAM CARTER</span> (Because she just doesn't give a bloody fuck)<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">EDUARDO CORDOVA</span> (No one is nicer)<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">NATHANIEL PHILLIPS</span> (The Activist Wears H&M and has written the new Vegas anthem)<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">KYLIE KARDASHIAN</span> (Expanding the brand)<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">THE SITUATION</span> (Have YOU turned your abs and bad haircuts into $$$?)<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">KELLY MCFARLANE-SMITH</span> (She's a classy dame)<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">NAOMI AT THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY HQ</span> (One day I'll need her to put a cigarette out on someone for me)<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">CHRISTINE KRAMER</span> (Date nights in Vegas don't get any better)<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">ANGELA ESLER-WHELAN</span> (She doesn't have to. But. She does)<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">MICHAEL CORNTHWAITE</span> (Uh, when did he get all hot?)<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">SAM CHERRY</span> (BadAss)<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">PAZ DE LA HUERTA</span> (Because she returned a borrowed gown and seriously doesn't know how it got torn)<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">ADRIENNE MALOOF</span> (Does she already have a Gay? I'm SO available)<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">WES MYLES</span> (The OG Bitchez)THE VEGAS STYLE GUYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05970342300412070727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-571826114197343233.post-15556584883250083562011-01-17T20:07:00.000-08:002011-01-17T20:12:52.670-08:00PEOPLE I HAVE NO INTEREST IN<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_gcpKVDiyuNg/TTUTPuqPFMI/AAAAAAAAAb8/YMiCRtEmSqs/s1600/robin.jpeg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 185px; height: 273px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_gcpKVDiyuNg/TTUTPuqPFMI/AAAAAAAAAb8/YMiCRtEmSqs/s320/robin.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5563374075630261442" /></a><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">PEOPLE DON’T THAT INTEREST ME</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">HOLLY MADISO</span>N (Her “Gay” is REALLY annoying)<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">ROBIN LEACH</span> (Still?!?)<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">THE HOMELESS GUY WITH THE VOICE IN REHAB</span> (My surprise underwhelms me)<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">DJ PAULY D</span> (Don’t get me wrong, I’d bang him)<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">ANYONE FROM MAD MEN</span> (Enough already)<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">MARIAH CAREY</span> (She is less annoying fat, but, still…)<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">CELEBRITY CHEFS</span> (Dude, it’s not that serious)<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">WESTBORO BAPTIST CHURCH</span> (Okay, God Hates Fags, but did you know that Jesus was a top?)<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">BRIAN SANDOVAL</span> (Does he really interest anyone? I’m hoping a lame sex scandal soon)<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">RYAN SEACREST</span> (Just doesn’t)<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">KIM KARDASHIAN</span> (LOVE Khloe and the other one)<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">ANYONE ON GOSSIP GIRL</span> (Line them all up side to side and you still don’t have three ounces of ass)THE VEGAS STYLE GUYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05970342300412070727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-571826114197343233.post-13309106471812285772011-01-02T18:07:00.000-08:002011-01-02T18:44:34.077-08:00SUNDANZE WITH KELLY ROWLAND PRESENTED BY EDUARDO CORDOVA AT JET!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_gcpKVDiyuNg/TSE10cPXpCI/AAAAAAAAAb0/E-XoVWolawQ/s1600/kellyR.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 245px; height: 320px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_gcpKVDiyuNg/TSE10cPXpCI/AAAAAAAAAb0/E-XoVWolawQ/s320/kellyR.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5557782590202029090" /></a><br />If you know Moiself (and you do), you are aware that I only leave my lair for the best of the best.<br /><br />Smashburger.<br /><br />Movies with talking animals.<br /><br />Red Carpets with D-List celebutantes.<br /><br />Throwing eggs at Christina Aguilera’s house.<br /><br />But. You knew all that.<br /><br />Right?<br /><br />Right.<br /><br />Well.<br /><br />One of the main things to get me to leave the comforts of The GayBoyClub is any event that has the cutest of the cute promoters attached to it.<br /><br />Do I even need say that the promoter with the mostest is the bearer of the best dimples this side of my fat ass, Eduardo Cordova?<br /><br />Oh. TMI?<br /><br />Where was I?<br /><br />Oh. Yeah.<br /><br />Eduardo Cordova and his dimples. That is what we were talking about right? <br /><br />Oh. No.<br /><br />We were talking about how E to the C always puts on the best events on The Strip for Boys who Bang Boys, Girls who aren’t afraid of carpets and all those in between.<br /><br />Really.<br /><br />I swear.<br /><br />Tonite Eduardo keeps the New Years spirit rockin’ with SUNDANZE at Jet! It’s the beginning of a new decade and Eduardo is getting this party started right with KELLY ROWLAND!!!<br /><br />O. M. G.<br /><br />No!<br /><br />Yes!<br /><br />In addition the Go Gos will be Go Going scantily clad on those things they Go Go on! <br /><br />The Muzak will be jammed into your aural cavities by Dj Michael Paul out of El Lay and Superstar DJ Tracy Young from El Apple Grande!<br /><br />Did I mention that there will be special dance acts to go along with all that Go Going?<br /><br />Well there will be!<br /><br />Bitch.<br /><br />Can I ask you a question?<br /><br />Why are you still reading this? Shouldn’t you be gluing in tracks and arranging a designated driver right about now?<br /><br />Shouldn’t you?<br /><br />The fun begins at 1030pm TONITE and goes until the room starts spinning and you ask the guy you’re talking to, “have I ever woke up at your house before?”<br /><br />That’s always when it’s time to leave.<br /><br />Just so you know.<br /><br />Well.<br /><br />Stop bothering me!<br /><br />Go get your track on and get over to SUNDANZE presented by Eduardo Cordova! While you’re there, look at those dimples.<br /><br />Then, think of mine.<br /><br /><br />SUNDANZE<br /><br />3400 S. Las Vegas Blvd., Las Vegas, NV 89109<br /><br />BUY TICKETS NOW:<br />http://lightgroup.com/sundanze/<br /><br />FOR RESERVATIONS CALL 702-792-7900<br />DOORS @ 10:30PM | PROPER ATTIRE REQUIRED<br /><br />SPECIAL ROOM RATES: CALL 1-800-627-6667<br />PROMO CODE: SUNDANZE<br /><br />SUNDANZE - FIRST SUNDAY OF EVERY MONTH - INSIDE JET NIGHTCLUB<br /><br />WWW.EDUARDOPRESENTS.COM<br />FOLLOW US ON TWITTER@EDUARDOPRESENTS<br /><br />WWW.LIGHTGROUP.COM<br />FACEBOOK.COM/JET-NIGHTCLUB<br /><br /><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/dwfKZ-1jyiw?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/dwfKZ-1jyiw?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object>THE VEGAS STYLE GUYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05970342300412070727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-571826114197343233.post-13862777831560275592010-12-27T14:30:00.000-08:002010-12-27T14:36:01.094-08:00TOP GEAR CHRISTMAS SPECIAL!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_gcpKVDiyuNg/TRkUustm4OI/AAAAAAAAAbs/3YaSg1AUDoU/s1600/top%2Bgear.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 180px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_gcpKVDiyuNg/TRkUustm4OI/AAAAAAAAAbs/3YaSg1AUDoU/s320/top%2Bgear.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5555494407847207138" /></a><br />Take a look at my fave show from the UK.<br /><br />Well. After "Keeping Up Appearnces".<br /><br />"BOO-KAY!"<br /><br />This episode of Top Gear is a rarity on our shores. It's the full one hr Top Gear in the Mideast Christmas Special!<br /><br />ENJOY!<br /><br /><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/2trDvHtGH3E?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/2trDvHtGH3E?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object>THE VEGAS STYLE GUYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05970342300412070727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-571826114197343233.post-42381307582113760752010-12-24T08:47:00.000-08:002010-12-24T08:58:08.589-08:00SANTA CLAUS WAS A MAN NAMED PERRY WASHINGTON<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_gcpKVDiyuNg/TRTRGihrM9I/AAAAAAAAAbc/EBrOE38MsDA/s1600/santa-claus-is-a-black-man.png"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 315px; height: 320px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_gcpKVDiyuNg/TRTRGihrM9I/AAAAAAAAAbc/EBrOE38MsDA/s320/santa-claus-is-a-black-man.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5554294150732133330" /></a><br /><br />When I was little kid we always went to Schaumberg to do our shopping. Something about Evans Furs being located there.<br /><br />Well, they also had really big modern stores. Nothing like Marshall Fields or Carson's. Those were STORES! Big and dramatic. The type of place that had windows that made you take a special trip downtown to see. <br /><br />A Future homo of America's training ground.<br /><br />As it were.<br /><br />We also did all of our grocery shopping in the suburbs. Mind you we lived at 70th place and South Shore drive. Right across the street from the whites only country club where if you looked over the wall you could see blond girls riding their horses on the beach.<br /><br />In the middle of a black hood.<br /><br />Sorta South Africaesque.<br /><br />The revolution didn't need to be televised, it was in my front yard.<br /><br />Really.<br /><br />I swear.<br /><br />Of course, the reason we went to the suburbs is that after all week of dealing with my people, my mother, Babs, was tired of Negroes and needed to get into her Thunderbird and deal with people with some sense. Plus, as I found out later, the products in the suburbs were newer and the food was fresher and cheaper. I will never forget the first time we went to a store in the neighborhood (middle class mind you) and saw what passed for vegetables. Blech.<br /><br />Well, that first time we went to the ghetto we were shopping for my fathers families Christmas gifts. "Those people, the Washington's", according to Babs when she was being nice. <br /><br />When she wasn't being nice, well, you would understand where I get my demure yet make a sailor put his dick back in his pants at a Turkish whorehouse potty mouth from.<br /><br />"It's not your cousins Cricket and Nods fault they have the mothers' that they do, so we have to go to the West Side and buy them SOMETHING though I know they aren't getting you anything", said Babs through clenched teeth.<br /><br />They never did. I was always "Barbara's son". <br /><br />A McClanahan. <br /><br />Not a Washington.<br /><br />"Get out of my car now! We're going to see Santa while we're here!" Mom barked in her low soothing yet "oh fuck you knew you better move it" dulcet tones.<br /><br />WELL! There he was! <br /><br />Surrounded by pickaninnies with poor clothing choices and those little black girl balls in their unpressed hair was.....<br /><br />A skinny old Colored man in a stolen Santa suit.<br /><br />"Stay here in line, I'll be back", mom took off in a sea of poor dark people all Evans fur and leather looking way too cute for the room.<br /><br />Needless to say there was no way I was going to get in that mans lap and have him fuck up my Christmas order. My order at Harold's Fried Chicken never came with the ketchup already on the fries so I knew this fool was not getting me the Hot Wheels set with the Pace Car Camaro and the double looped track.<br /><br />And the other children said things like "I seen" and "La Q'Shwan I'm gonna fuck you up if you don't stop it!" while they wiped snot from their noses with their cheap coats and then chased each other with it.<br /><br />Aw, hells to the no.<br /><br />I waited to the side and tried to hold my breath.<br /><br />That night, my sainted father (step but the best father ever!FUCK I'M CRYING!RIP dad.)Perry Washington who was the lightest black man you ever did see, asked me how it went with Santa.<br /><br />I told him how they had all of these nasty children and some old Colored man who had stolen Santa's suit and I never got my chicken right at Harold's and besides, Santa was white.....<br /><br />That night I found out there was no Santa.<br /><br />He wasn't white.<br /><br />Black people were every bit as good as white people.<br /><br />Poor kids had poor parents and I should be thankful that my parents had good jobs and cared enough about me to see that I was well dressed and lived in a nice home.<br /><br />AND SANTA CLAUS WAS A MAN NAMED PERRY WARREN WASHINGTON.<br /><br />And that is how I found out that Santa Claus didn't exist. <br /><br />I had something way better.<br /><br />My dad.<br /><br /><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/JBW3fc15iVg?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/JBW3fc15iVg?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>THE VEGAS STYLE GUYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05970342300412070727noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-571826114197343233.post-6952831296963330702010-12-21T14:59:00.000-08:002017-02-26T19:06:19.892-08:00DIAMOND CHINESE: DON'T MIND THE REDNECKS IN THE FRONT, THERE'S GOOD VITTLES OUT BACK!<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_gcpKVDiyuNg/TRFCcVto9kI/AAAAAAAAAbU/o2sgV9G4TT8/s1600/220px-SuzieWongPoster.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5553292870156875330" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/_gcpKVDiyuNg/TRFCcVto9kI/AAAAAAAAAbU/o2sgV9G4TT8/s320/220px-SuzieWongPoster.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 283px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 220px;" /></a><br />
Let us get one thing straight.<br />
<br />
Well, you know what I mean...<br />
<br />
Clear. I meant clear.<br />
<br />
Let's get one thing clear.<br />
<br />
Moi is used to being stared at upon entering a restaurant. <br />
<br />
When I arrive at my fave McDonalds, they know to fire up the fryer and let the good times roll. Making my entrance at Krazy Kitchen buffet, it's "oh here come large yellow man, hide Salmon roll! Leave some other people!"<br />
<br />
Well.<br />
<br />
As Moi and Moi's bestie Christopher sauntered into some Gawdawful casinoette on Industrial near a, ahem, "library" that Christopher was familiar with, the men all paused as I walked into the room.<br />
<br />
And not in a good way.<br />
<br />
I am quite sure that the music stopped, jaws dropped and the theme song from "Deliverance" floated in from a dimly lit alcove played by what looked like the evil spawn of John McCain and Rhea Pearlman.<br />
<br />
Really.<br />
<br />
I swear.<br />
<br />
"Are you sure this is the place the locals know as "the best Chinese food in Vegas"?, I asked of Chris.<br />
<br />
"Keep going to the back", Chris growled. Mind you, he had had one of "those" weeks. A week so "those" that we had foregone our usual drinking in favor of food!<br />
<br />
I hustled past a neck that was as red as any Sheriff's in Jim Crow Alabama neck ever was. I flung open the door and all of a sudden, I was in Hong Kong circa "Suzie Wong."<br />
<br />
Nothing fancy, but, obviously authentic. There were an equal number of customers and employess.<br />
<br />
Two. Each.<br />
<br />
Somehow. I knew I was home.<br />
<br />
I took one look at the menu and was transported back to my days in L.A. at four am with my friends (Cher, Christina Aguilera, Brittany Spears and Gore Vidal. Well, until Christina became a bitch.) all sucking up mounds of food in Chinatown until the sun came up.<br />
<br />
On the menu were Salted Chicken ($8.50 half/$16 whole), Beef with Melon ($8.50) Hot Braised Snow Fish ($14.95) and, of course, Shark Fin soup. I will not eat Shark Fin Soup, it is completely wrong to kill a shark just for the fin.<br />
<br />
I will, however, wear a Chinchilla and I don't care what you do with the carcass. <br />
<br />
Suck it PETA.<br />
<br />
Where was I?<br />
<br />
Oh. Yes. Diamond Chinese!<br />
<br />
I had heard often about this place and have to say that it more than lived up to the hype. I ordered my "tester" dish that I always order when I 'm deciding on whether or not a Chinese joint is going to see my substantial rear end again.<br />
<br />
I ordered "House Special Egg Foo Young"($8.95). And I dared them to impress me.<br />
<br />
Oh. My. Gawd. Chandler Bing!<br />
<br />
It was perfectly crisp on the outside and had just the right mix of eggs and veggies for the filling. Adorned with paper thin slices of BBQ Pork and meaty soft Scallops, Steamed Chicken and melt in your mouth Fish Fillets all wrapped up in a delicious gravy, it was eaten by my eyes before I even touched it with my utensil!<br />
<br />
We split an order of Sliced Chicken with Cashew Nuts ($8.25) as well and it did nothing to shake me of the idea that I was loving this place.<br />
<br />
And then! <br />
<br />
I noticed the one thing that cemented my relationship with Diamond Chinese.<br />
<br />
I side door.<br />
<br />
No more Rednecks for Moi! I can come and go without a busload of Freedom Riders to protect me on my way to Le Heaven Gastronomique!<br />
<br />
Get the to the best Chinese Food in town, Diamond Chinese!<br />
<br />
DIAMOND CHINESE<br />
3449 INDUSTRIAL ROAD<br />
702.796.8982THE VEGAS STYLE GUYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05970342300412070727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-571826114197343233.post-41373896175586449972010-12-16T00:31:00.000-08:002010-12-16T00:45:37.844-08:00MOVIES I HAVE NO INTENTION OF SEEING THIS WEEKEND<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_gcpKVDiyuNg/TQnQ6eYnLlI/AAAAAAAAAbM/NUxvDNJxzfY/s1600/Lucy%2BEthel%2B1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_gcpKVDiyuNg/TQnQ6eYnLlI/AAAAAAAAAbM/NUxvDNJxzfY/s320/Lucy%2BEthel%2B1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5551197718718131794" /></a><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">MOVIES I HAVE NO INTENTION OF SEEING THIS WEEKEND</span><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />YOGI BEAR 3D</span><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Starring:</span> Yogi Bear (Lucille McGillicuddy), Boo Boo (Ethel Mertz).<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">What It’s About:</span> In a first for Lesbian porn, Yogi Bear 3D follows the mishaps and erotic misadventures of a pair of Kooky and Kinky “Furries” let loose in the wilds of Yosemite National Park. Mirth and Mayhem are the order of the day as the hennaed red head and the frowsy blonde seek to make Yosemite a Sapphic playground against the puritanical wishes of the local Park Ranger (Mackenzie Phillips) . It, of course, all ends with a honey slathered romp with a young Bear cub (Juliette Lewis) who is bi-curious and ready for fun!<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Why I won’t be seeing it:</span> Lesbian Furry Porn is bad enough.Furry Vag in 3 freakin' D just gives this homo the creeps. Yikes!<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />HOW DO YOU KNOW?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Starring:</span> Reese Witherspoon (Madame in her first starring role since the death of Waylon Flowers), Owen Wilson, Jack “Where the white woman at?!” Nicholson and that one white guy who’s in pretty much every movie I’ve hated in the last five years.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />What It’s About:</span> WTF!?! Is this National “Gals who love Gals” month or what? Reese (Madame) is a down and out 60 year old softball player who …WAIT! Ok, at this point I would normally make up what this dreck is about, BUT the actual description is WAY more insipid than anything I could ever think up.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Here is what it’s REALLY about:</span> “Reese Witherspoon’s entire life has been defined by softball, but at 31, she is deemed too old to play and cut from the team. After being cast adrift, she begins a fling with Matty (Owen Wilson), a charming womanizer who plays professional baseball. About the same time, she goes on a blind date with George (Paul Rudd), a businessman on the hook for stock fraud. Caught in a romantic triangle with the two men, Lisa ponders the meaning of love.”<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Why I Won’t Be Seeing It: </span> “Reese Witherspoon’s entire life has been defined by softball, but at 31, she is deemed too old to play and cut from the team. After being cast adrift, she begins a fling with Matty (Owen Wilson), a charming womanizer who plays professional baseball. About the same time, she goes on a blind date with George (Paul Rudd), a businessman on the hook for stock fraud. Caught in a romantic triangle with the two men, Lisa ponders the meaning of love.” <br /><br />WHAT THE SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR IS THIS SHIT?!? <br /><br />Combine that actual description with the fact that “Chester the Molester” Nicholson hasn’t missed a chance to show his hairy, saggy, old man titties in any movie he’s been in over the last twenty years and I just have to think I’d have a much better time singeing my pubes slowly while squatting over the burners on my stove.<br /><br />How Do You Know? Why would I care?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">TRON: LEGACY 3D</span><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Starring:</span> One of the guys who used to be Flipper’s brother, I think. Some white guy. Some white girl.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />What It’s About:</span> Ok, look. I am not nor have I ever been a Nerd. I have never pleasured myself in my mom’s basement while watching Carrie Fisher tied up in a two piece with Cinnabuns on the side of her head while she writhed for the amusement of Rush Limbaugh (as Jabba the Hut) in Star Wars 16 or whatever it was. I was in Student Body and made fun of people who could speak in Wookie.<br /><br />WHY WOULD I CARE WHAT THIS MOVIE IS ABOUT?<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Why I Won’t Be Seeing It:</span> I tend to see myself as on the cutting edge and Ecstasy is OVER Gurlfriend! It’s sooo KLF and I can’t imagine that this crapfest would be bearable without at least two hits.THE VEGAS STYLE GUYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05970342300412070727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-571826114197343233.post-89455001164372437182010-12-12T17:02:00.000-08:002010-12-12T17:07:37.436-08:00KIMBERLY COLE AT CLOSET SUNDAYS 2NITE!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_gcpKVDiyuNg/TQVx0s_gsPI/AAAAAAAAAbE/BX6bAdGZC2E/s1600/kimberlycole.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 214px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_gcpKVDiyuNg/TQVx0s_gsPI/AAAAAAAAAbE/BX6bAdGZC2E/s320/kimberlycole.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5549967266048684274" /></a><br />KIMBERY COLE AT CLOSET SUNDAYS TONIGHT!<br /><br />Moi loves a $5 drink whether it is Vodka (potato juice) or Beer. <br /><br />But you knew that.<br /><br />Didn’t you?<br /><br />Of course you did.<br /><br />Where was I?<br /><br />Oh. Yes.<br /><br />My fave place to drink, dance and partay like it’s 2009 is “Closet Sundays” at The Revolution Lounge. The world’s most adorablest promoter, Eduardo Cordova, has been hosting Closet Sundays at the Revolution Lounge ever since I first turned 21 a couple of years ago.<br /><br />What? <br /><br />Get your own blog and you can decide on your age. Bitch.<br /><br />Anyways.<br /><br />TONIGHT Diva Kimberly Cole will be performing and the Go Go’s will be Go Going starting at ten pm and going until your fairy Godmother says, “give me back my Crystal Disco Pumps! <br /><br />So.<br /><br />Swish on over to CLOSET SUNDAYS at The Revolution Lounge in The Mirage Resort & Casino tonight!<br /><br />CLOSET SUNDAYS<br />REVOLUTION LOUNGE<br />THE MIRAGE RESORT & CASINO<br /><br />3400 Las Vegas Boulevard South<br />Las Vegas, NV 89109<br /><br /><br /><br />GUESTLIST AND RESERVATIONS CALL 702-693-8300<a href="http:// http://www.facebook.com/l/4fa21RYJDKOyBOGG4lGQRVuY5GA;WWW.EDUARDOPRESENTS.COM"><br /><br />http://www.facebook.com/l/4fa21RYJDKOyBOGG4lGQRVuY5GA;WWW.EDUARDOPRESENTS.COM</a><br /><br />FOLLOW US ON TWITTER@EDUARDOPRESENTS<br /><br />KIMBERLY COLE "SMACK YOU"<br /><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/C-xzSZHNv3A?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/C-xzSZHNv3A?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object>THE VEGAS STYLE GUYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05970342300412070727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-571826114197343233.post-13591059845810484612010-12-12T16:07:00.000-08:002010-12-12T16:14:58.792-08:00REVIEW: DAVID SEDARIS' "THE SANTALAND DIARIES" STARRING JAMIE MORRIS<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_gcpKVDiyuNg/TQVkZcyFQBI/AAAAAAAAAa8/uCV6yrDlE2o/s1600/santaland.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 131px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_gcpKVDiyuNg/TQVkZcyFQBI/AAAAAAAAAa8/uCV6yrDlE2o/s320/santaland.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5549952504189763602" /></a><br />REVIEW: David Sedaris’ “The Santaland Diaries” starring Jamie Morris<br /><br />The Onyx Theater <br />953 E Sahara (in The Commercial Center)<br />Bldg 16<br /><br />December 9-12, 2010<br />4 Performances ONLY<br /><br />I am very upset that I saw “The Santaland Diaries” starring Jamie Morris late on Saturday night.<br /><br />I wish I had seen it Friday so that I could have beat the bushes to tell everyone to catch the last two performances of the weekend. Jamie Morris is not only a talented playwright and satirist, he is also quite a good little actor. I have no idea how long this show is because not once did I check my Android to see what was going on outside of The Onyx Theater as I was simply beguiled by Morris’s skill at holding an entire audiences attention.<br /><br />Really.<br /><br />I swear.<br /><br />David Sedaris is quite a little imp himself and I feel that he would have gladly sat back and roared with laughter as I did if he were to see this spot on production of his holiday classic short story about a soon to be having a mid-life chrisis Soap Opera extra wannabe who ends up as the world’s wryest Elf at Macy’s. While the Elf dreams of having smart cocktails with the Buchanan’s and the Quartermaine’s in the one to two pm block of afternoon TV, his reality is boorish oafs from New Jersey (Are there any other kind? I’m jes sayin”.) and a Macy’s demanded “Elf name”.<br /><br />His is “Crumpet”.<br /><br />You would surely understand if he takes a swig from his flask ever so often. <br /><br />Right?<br /><br />Crumpet takes us from his Elf training sessions (picture the Death Marches of Bataan with a peppy Japanese warlord leading the way.) to the locker room where one of the more fetching Elfs might just be flirting his way into a bathroom scene right out of “Born Innocent” (starring Linda Blair as the whorish Elf). The forced frivolity starts as soon as he is thrown into a roomful of Soap Opera extras and, to put it kindly, weirdos who seem to think that asking if they can were their Elf costumes home is a perfectly reasonable request.<br /><br />Not.<br /><br />Morris keeps you not only entertained, but, interested.At no point did I notice the fact that this was a one man show. Morris is so good as the bitchy little, too clever for his own good Crumpet, that between him and the excellent set, staging, lighting and source material you never miss any other possible actors. He gives such dead on impersonations of dozens of characters that you automatically see them in your head and fill the stage yourself with his wit and your own imagination.<br /><br />He’s that good.<br /><br />My only disappointment with “The Santaland Diaries” is that it ends tonight.<br /><br />Put your jacket own and get thee to The Onyx Theater now!THE VEGAS STYLE GUYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05970342300412070727noreply@blogger.com0