Just when the world seemed back to normal.
It’s baaaaack!
Not Snooki.
Though she is back with a whole new drunken season of mirth and arrests at the Jersey Shore.
Not The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
Though they are back with faces that don’t move and husbands that do (is Camille a punk Bitch or what?).
No.
Just when you thought it was safe to go back in to the brackish water that is Nevada politics, along comes the scariest fish that’s ever crawled out of the upper reaches of the Truckee River.
Sharron “Remember me Pablito ,or, are you Quan Lee?” Angle IS BAAAAACK!
And this time……………she’s got a spackle brush!
Zut Alors! Quelle not cute!
Quelle.
Yup, as hard as it is to believe, much like Nosferatu, La Angle is rebirthing herself as a Celebrity guest star at a Multi-Level Marketing, low rent, Mary Kay-esque makeup event in Downtown La Vegas!
I guess if you were wondering how many levels of Hell there really are, you now know.
There are MULTI-levels.
And on this level Sharron Angle is working the cosmetics counter at some sort of “has it come to this Gurl?” reality show on CMT.
Level one.
Right over there by the escalator leading to the bargain basement.
Down.
At this point I would normally just riff on some crazy ideas about what an invite to “Desperate Housewives: What The Fuck Happened?” would read like. Unfortunately, even my rapier wit and sardonic take on politics and life can’t possibly equal what the invite REALLY fuckin’ says.
To whit:
“Sharron will be sharing her beauty and makeup challenges during the campaign and how she overcame them!
She had confidence that she would look great with 14 -16 hour days & with numerous appearances daily...
so can you!”
No. I. Can’t!
Remember the first time you saw “WTF” and wondered what that meant?
It means, “WHAT THE FUCK?!?”
So.
WTF?!?
Pinch me.
No. Not in a sexual way. I don’t like that.
Anymore.
Pinch me so I can make sure that I’m not dreaming that all of my dreams have not only come true, but, landed in my lap like a drunken hooker hitting the tiles in Charlie Sheen’s bathroom!
BLAP!
It gets better.
Really.
I swear.
“Please be our guest... you will be glad you did!
* Girlfriend time
* Chat with Sharron
* Learn some new make-up tips & techniques
* Find out about an amazing revolutionary
skin care line
(guaranteed to take 55% of your fine lines and wrinkles away in 8 weeks!) NO kidding!
* Free gift for all who attend
Sounds fun, right? I think so too!
See you there!”
Girlfriend time with La Loca?
Chat moments with The Child of The Corn from The Village of The Damned?
All this AND free grub, gift bags (NRA pot holders, please God!) and sharing makeup tips with the one woman I have NEVER ASSOCIATED with anything more glamorous than a tractor pull in Pahrump!
This is DELISH!
Sweet Jesus, what have I done to deserve this?
All of my fretting that Sharron “Why no, I am stupid. Thank you for asking.” Angle was going to come back all Mighty Mouse to save the day for the Nevada Tea Party has come to this?
A live infomercial that even Holly Madison probably said no to?
Aiyee, how bad is that if Holly turns your shit down?
She banged Heff!
Fret no more.
Sharron’s back and she’s just one of the girls next door!
From the last subdivision in Hell.
You KNOW you can’t miss this.
Can you?
Just in case:
An evening with Joni Rogers-Kante, Founder & CEO of
SeneGence International,
featuring Makeup & Skincare Experts Jeri Taylor-Swade & Amber London
and special guest
Sharron Angle, former candidate for US Senate
Friday night, Jan. 21, 2011
6:00 - 8:30 pm
Held at the beautiful, modern, Meet Conference Center
233 South 4th Street
Las Vegas, NV 89101
MeetLasVegasConventionCenter
See you there!
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