MOVIES I HAVE NO INTENTION OF SEEING THIS WEEKEND

THE SOCIAL NETWORK

Starring: You can't possibly care? Right? No. Really?

What it's about: Facebook. I'm slowly wishing I was dying from my own bile.

Let's get real, we all have Facebook pages. Well. I do. I never really bother to see if anyone else has one.

I mean, why?

I'm so interesting.

After all.

Why bother?

Speaking of why bother.

We were.

Why bother with a movie about Facebook?

I get it free.

Everyday.

And I'm so much more interesting.

So.

Why bother?

LET ME IN

Starring: Lindsay Lohan, Huggy Bear and Justin Bieber.

What it's about: Lindsay Lohan (between imprisonments and rehab) stars as a girl who never seems to sleep or get cold outside at night. In the winter. Huggy Bear makes his big screen comeback as a creepy drag queen named Pinga Tu Madre who lives in a basement apartment upstairs from Lohan.

Justin Bieber is the unnaturally well hung Lesbian who befriends Lohan only to find out that she is secretly smoking his dope when he goes to junior high everyday. High on tweak and without panties, Lohan wreaks havoc at a local bowling alley where Puta Tu Madre works nights as a security guard.

All turns out well when the cops bust Lohan (yet again) and Bieber and Puta run off to Sinaloa where their love will be accepted, and Bieber can be closer to his connect.

Ok.

I have no idea and no desire to know what this movie is about.

YOU AGAIN

Starring: Jamie Lee Curtis, Betty White, and a bunch of other white people.

What It's About: Transgender star Jamie Lee Curtis is a victim of Pelvic Inflammatory Disease in this NSFW comedy. Betty White plays her (his?) Doctor with a taste for hooch.

Hilarity ensues as Jamie Lee asks, "Which one of you Bitches is my Mother?"

Huh?

I don't know.