REVIEW: DAVID SEDARIS' "THE SANTALAND DIARIES" STARRING JAMIE MORRIS

REVIEW: David Sedaris’ “The Santaland Diaries” starring Jamie Morris

The Onyx Theater
953 E Sahara (in The Commercial Center)
Bldg 16

December 9-12, 2010
4 Performances ONLY

I am very upset that I saw “The Santaland Diaries” starring Jamie Morris late on Saturday night.

I wish I had seen it Friday so that I could have beat the bushes to tell everyone to catch the last two performances of the weekend. Jamie Morris is not only a talented playwright and satirist, he is also quite a good little actor. I have no idea how long this show is because not once did I check my Android to see what was going on outside of The Onyx Theater as I was simply beguiled by Morris’s skill at holding an entire audiences attention.

Really.

I swear.

David Sedaris is quite a little imp himself and I feel that he would have gladly sat back and roared with laughter as I did if he were to see this spot on production of his holiday classic short story about a soon to be having a mid-life chrisis Soap Opera extra wannabe who ends up as the world’s wryest Elf at Macy’s. While the Elf dreams of having smart cocktails with the Buchanan’s and the Quartermaine’s in the one to two pm block of afternoon TV, his reality is boorish oafs from New Jersey (Are there any other kind? I’m jes sayin”.) and a Macy’s demanded “Elf name”.

His is “Crumpet”.

You would surely understand if he takes a swig from his flask ever so often.

Right?

Crumpet takes us from his Elf training sessions (picture the Death Marches of Bataan with a peppy Japanese warlord leading the way.) to the locker room where one of the more fetching Elfs might just be flirting his way into a bathroom scene right out of “Born Innocent” (starring Linda Blair as the whorish Elf). The forced frivolity starts as soon as he is thrown into a roomful of Soap Opera extras and, to put it kindly, weirdos who seem to think that asking if they can were their Elf costumes home is a perfectly reasonable request.

Not.

Morris keeps you not only entertained, but, interested.At no point did I notice the fact that this was a one man show. Morris is so good as the bitchy little, too clever for his own good Crumpet, that between him and the excellent set, staging, lighting and source material you never miss any other possible actors. He gives such dead on impersonations of dozens of characters that you automatically see them in your head and fill the stage yourself with his wit and your own imagination.

He’s that good.

My only disappointment with “The Santaland Diaries” is that it ends tonight.

Put your jacket own and get thee to The Onyx Theater now!

THIS WEEK ON THE SAUSAGE FACTORY!

THE SAUSAGE FACTORY 09 OCTOBER 2010

10AM -1PM (WEST COAST TIME)

www.vegasallnetradio.com


As usual The Sausage Factory has a stellar lineup of the smart and the sublime.

Who? You ask.

You did.

Ask.

Here you go.

10:23 Chris Geidner from Metro Weekly with all the latest from DC

10:45 Jane Heenan with “Ask A Tranny”

11:00 Ari Ezra Waldmon is back with his “Legal Eagle” eye on the news.

11:18 Jeff Garafolo of “Republicans for Reid” to talk about being a Gay Republican.

11:49 Zerlina Maxwell with “This Week in Blackness”

Noon Tony Clark who will give us the rundown on this year’s National Coming Out Day.

12:13 The Cast of The Rocky Horror Picture Show at The Onyx Theater.

12:28 Shaun Sewell On the World Gay Rodeo Finals presented by the International Gay Rodeo Association

12:43 Paco Alvarez The most semi-famous Museologist and really hip local man about town.

12:50 Juan Espinoza-Cuellar The activist and poet with the poem that he created for Stonewall’s “It Gets Better” rally.

Twitter Trenz @LauraKMM gives us the latest updates on what’s trending in the Twittosphere.

THE SAUSAGE FACTORY
10AM -1PM (WEST COAST TIME)

www.vegasallnetradio.com

ZELINA MAXWELL,

OFF THE STRIP, WORTH THE TRIP: NAKED BOYS SINGING!

There's one secret only a select few know about Moiself.

No, not the time I was deported from Her Majesty's Kingdom.

Oops.

Two secrets.

Well. The truth of the matter is that in spite of my rather, how we say, saucy reparte (that's stinky cheese eater, you know French), I am actually quite, um, prudish.

Yup. It's true Selena Gomez, I am rather squeamish when it comes down to the actual messy messy thing.

You. Know. Sex.

I blush whilst writing at the mere thought of chains, whips, diuretics and cheap motels south of The Luxor.

Uh.

I digress.

Where was I?

Oh. Yes. Sex.

So. When the sexy et urbane J.D. Jensen invited Moiself and my bestie Chris Miller to see the long running production "Naked Boys Singing" at the Onyx Theater, I blushed as Chris jumped at the chance to see danglies mere feet in front of us.

As the show started I got that feeling one gets going up in a roller coaster that you only got on to please the guy that you ended up leaving after he screamed like a little Bitch during the 2 minutes 35 that the ride took to go all the way through.

Was that a dangling participle?

Speaking of dangling, Oh My Gawd Chandler Bing!

Right there. On stage.

Penis's. Peni? Penises?

Big. Small. In between.

Goldilocks could have been there forever trying to make a decision.

Honestly. When am I not?

Rhetorical question.

Bitch.

I spent the first twenty minutes trying to look anywhere but straight ahead. I can tell you about the pianist, the curtains and the back of the panting man in the front rows head.

Anything but the peen.

Then, as if by magic, I began to realize something.

These boys could sing!

Not only sing, but, sing little ditties about Robert Mitchum and being "The Best Little Porn Star from Skokie, Illinois"! They had me laughing and,occasionally, ready to get misty with their renditions.

There were funny songs, melancholy odes to the love that got away ,but, never went away and even a really clever number that reduced all of the wangs nicknames into a rousing little anthem complete with choir robes.

Well.

Not actually robes. More like the little stringy things that go around the necks of altar boys.

No, silly, not priests fingers!

I had to.

Really.

I swear.

Tee. Hee.

I guess what I'm saying is that if you like great singing and well written songs along with gratuitous weenie, then you simply must go see "Naked Boys Singing."

You.

Simply.

Must.

A word. To the wise.

Don't sit in the front row.

It's the splash zone.

Ooooh.

NAKED BOYS SINGING

THE ONYX THEATER
953 E SAHARA (IN THE COMMERCIAL CENTER IN THE RACK CLOTHING STORE)
89104

Performances Friday / Saturday / Sunday

Hint: Get a season pass to The Onyx and see several shows for the price of one overpriced Clowns on a high wire doing acrobatics acid trip on The Strip show.