SHARE: The ONLY Place You Need To Know About In Gay Vegas!

Hola Cholas!

And assorted other Glamzillas.

It's the weekend in Las Vegas and one is simply swamped with places to go and people to do...oh, wait, THINGS to do.

My bad.

So. Where is one to go that won't be just another flaccid night of tired DJ's and draft beer in a pitcher (though Moi has been known to put a hurtin' on a draft beer in a pitcher. I'm jes sayin'.)?

Where you ask?

You did ask.

Really. I swear.

Where?

SHARE!

The hottest new swank place to wave your hands in the air like you just don't care is, say it with me this time, SHARE.

Located convenient to, but not swamped by the traffic of The Strip, SHARE is THE place to see and be seen. On Friday nights you'll be putting on your wig hat and high heeled sneakers for Paul Nichols Stripper Circus. It's La La Land's ultra sexy fab u lush party served up Las Vegas Style with DJ CHI CHI LaRue and the the sexual DJ Nick Ayler. Every 3rd Wednesday DJ Lisa Pittman serves up the hot chicas at BootyBar. There's a $500 prize for the best tail on Cotton Tail Mondays, oh my. The Fabulous Edie is the hostest with the mostest weekly at The Biz: A Weekly Cast Party with the best entertainers from The Strip showing you what they got in a tres intimate setting. Did I mention there's 2-4-1 Cocktails those nights starting at 10pm? Now I have. And of course Saturday is everybody's fave night to get hot and sweaty on the dance floor!

AND THERE'S NEVER A COVER CHARGE!

I said never.

Ok, let's talk about what's muy importante.

No Bitch, not my recent weight gain.

VIP TABLE SERVICE!

As you know, Moi never goes anywhere unless Moi is on the DJ. I mean on the DJ's list. And I would never sit anywhere but the VIP section con bottles of my favorite adult beverages. Never. Well, SHARE has the best table service in the Gay Las Vegas universe!

AND it's tres affordable starting at just $100! Uh hello, why are you still reading this? Shouldn't you be Tweeting your peeps and updating your Facebook status to "In The VIP Bitches!"?

Right?

By the by, if you manage to get your car out of the driveway in time SHARE has OPEN BAR!That's right from 10 PM to 11 PM just get out your DROID and text "isahre" to 313131 (must show text at door for open bar).

Did I mention SHARES serves up After Hours frivolity from 3am on every Friday and Saturday? They do.

So. Hurry on down and shake your groove thing while you oggle the parade of cuties at SHARE.

Now.

I said now.





4636 Wynn Road
Las Vegas
Nevada
89103
702-258-2681

www.sharenightclub.com

What's This Thing Called Holsteins And Why Did I Ever Eat There?

Moi J'adores The Cosmopolitan.

It is chic in a totally non-fussy way. There is ample seating which is a rarity in Las Vegas and unheard of on Le Strip. The art is funky and world class. All in all, The Cosmopolitan is exactly what this burgh has needed for a long time. A hip and urbane place that locals can dig even while surrounded by Tourist Girls in Sausage Casing Skank Dresses.

Did I mention, J'adore The Cosmopolitan?

Well. I do.

Fuckin' Holsteins, on the other hand, should be 86'd from The Cosmo as it drags down the property like that fat dude Sandra Bullock was married to at a Bat Mitzvah.

Way total bummer.

So.

Me and The Bestie decided to sashay over to The Cosmo to check out the "secret Pizza place". Upon entering Moi decides it isn't quite what I am looking for at the moment.

I say, "let's go to Holsteins."

Cue ominous music.

"Don't go in the basement White girl!"

My first clue as to where the evening would be going was when we were greeted by the hostess. About 12, she was dressed in a dowdy outfit that looked like nuns forced her to wear it due to the itchy underbits that kept a tortured grimace on her innocent, Squirrel in the headlights face.

"Um, we're, um, really, um busy. It's like a hour wait, un, I think. But, you can eat in the waiting, bar sorta area."

Okaaay.

So.

We sat and waited for our waitress.

Who knew we could have read the first three chapters of a Suze Orman book in the time it took for our server to arrive?

Who. Knew.

So.

The Bestie loves dark meat.

But.

That's a whole 'nother story.

Where was I?

Oh. Yeah.

He orders a "WELL DONE" whatever Burger. I order the Kimchee thingee Medium Rare. We were asked what kind of fries we wanted? I said the chip things and I forget what The Bestie ordered. It would turn out to matter. Later.

We also ordered two of their signature Milk Shakes. Lactose intolerant Negro that I am, I still could not resist two of my favorite fat boy things combined, booze and Ice Cream! They were all right. In fact, they were the best thing about this whole Gawdawful, I'd rather be sitting through an endless loop of "Trog" starring Joan Crawford during her "A Bitch needs a job, ok?" period, Holsteins experience.

About 3 hrs later the server..oh, wait, did I mention this was like the third server we had seen by this point?

Didn't I?

Silly Me.

"W-T-F!" screeched the bestie.

Rememember, he had ordered "WELL DONE!" This looked like one of those partial birth abortions that Republicans are always going on about.

Umbilical cord and all.

Really. I swear.

Now. It gets GOOD.

Our server (like #15 at this point) had the temerity to say with a straight face to The Bestie who was bugged out by all the blood in front of him, "That's our version of 'WELL DONE!'"

Really?

No, seriously?

It's a good thing Sally Field didn't have to go up against this Bitch when they were casting for Norma Rae. That would have been an Oscar she would never have put on her commode shelf. The utter sincerity with which she said it was Gobsmackingly audacious and worthy of not only an Oscar, but, the ultimate glory, A GOLDEN GLOBE!

So.

I said "you need to take that back and burn it." Server #15 started away. "Um, excuse me, but, you need to take mine as well", says Moi. "Why?" says #15. "Because I don't want to be eating my food while he has none."

At this point #15 is truly going for for the triple crown, she's going to add an EMMY!

Daytime.

"What's wrong with that?"

Why nothing.

Nothing at all.

If you were born of Lesbian Wolves.

Who the hell would eat in front of a fellow diner for Gawd only knows how long it was going to take while whomever brought back The Besties burger?

As. If.

So.

Along comes, I kid you not, servers #16 AND #17! Two pimple faced kids who looked like they just won a bad acid trip to Willy Wonkas Chocolate Factory on "Underwear Night". Guess what they brought us? No. Really. Guess.

Give up?

Two entirely wrong burgers.

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT! I JUST BROUGHT OUT WHAT THEY GAVE ME!", said Wednesday Adams. "I'M JUST A RUNNER!", said Bobby Brady as he sulked away.

"What's the problem?" It was #15. Yet. Again.

"Well, other than your Kansas City Bomber attitude" I silently thought in my grade school Russian, "these burgers are BOTH wrong."

Eyes rolled as she snatched the plates up and shoved them at Wednesday with a gruff send off to whatever table they were meant for not knowing whether or not I had flavored them with Coke boogers, or whatever.

FINALLY, we got the burgers we ordered correctly cooked.

They were OK.

Just.

THEN.

The bill arrived.

I have never wanted to see a bill so badly in my entire life.

Well. At least one that I was paying. Trust. MANY times I have been glad to see a bill arrive, but, that's because a wrinkly old white hand covered in liver spots would finally have something to do other than trying fondle me whilst I simply wanted to enjoy my Creme Brulee.

That Tyler Brulee guy is sorta hot.

But. I digress.

Where was I?

Oh. Yeah. The fucking bill.

After 17 servers and what seemed like enough time to give a coffee enema to the Ed Hardy wearing tourists next to us, the bill was $65!

So. It took SIX burgers to get the order right. Those "what kind of fries would you like?" were not what came with the burger. Oh. No. They were extra. The shakes while good had come at the cost of a meal that SOMEHOW added up to about three times what I would normally want to pay IF it had come through a window with a Clowns head attached. If only.

So.

I wrote quite a little letter on the "How Did We Do?" card.

Stop.

"How Did We Do?"

Are you fucking kidding me? Did Pol Pot give out such cruel cards after a "visit"?

I wrote all over that thing and sent it back WITH my card to pay for this little bit of no reason for cows to have died for.

Oh, yes I did.

And you know what happened?

They committed the Ultimate Las Vegas Sin.

No. Not signing Shania Twain for a long term run. She's got like two songs and a bad divorce, am I right?

No.

Worse.

No manager came out to see if "something was wrong?" No anything taken off the bill. No care whatsoever that a customer was NOT a happy camper.

Nada. Zilch. Bupkus (or however you spell that).

Just "give us your money and Sod Off!"

Numerous calls and Tweets later, still, NOTHING.

So.

If you are simply dying for a burger.

On a desert island.

With Rush Limbaugh.

And a branch of Holsteins.

Eat Rush.

At least you might get a Viagra boner.

The Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas
3708 Las Vegas Boulevard South
Las Vegas, NV 89109

Holsteins
Who Gives a crap.

HAVE U EVER SPENT A SUNDAY NITE WITH EDUARDO CORDOVA? ESTELLE WILL, TONIGHT!

As you well know, Moi rarely leaves the comfy confines of The GayBoyClub in Ghetto Vallarta.

You do know. Correct?

It's about Moi, therefore, you should know.

Really.

I swear.

Life is sooo good at The GBC that one seldom sees the need to venture beyond the gated drive.

Seldom.

Well.

If there's one person who can always get moi to put on a wig hat and some high heel sneakers, it's E to the C.

You know silly, Eduardo Cordova!

As if there would be any other reason.

Ok, Cristiano Ronaldo would get me into my Prada.

But.

I digress.

TONIGHT!

Eduardo Cordova Presents is hosting one of the very few Divas more Divaliscious than Moiself.

ESTELLE!

Yes, the warbling dancefloor Diva will be in the hizzouse at JET Nightclub for SUNDANZE! This is yet another mucho funno baile from Eduardo Cordova Presents.

Yet. Another.

Miss Thang will be performing LIVE and DJ Michael Paul will be twisting knobs and burning vinyl in the muzak booth!

Yes.

You will wave your hands.

In the air.

I wave mine like I just don't care.

Don't try that at home kiddies.

You might hurt yourself.

The doors open at 10:30 and for those of you with more style than greenage, you can get in free until the hands on the tic toc are in the same place by emailing EDUARDOPRESENTS@GMAIL.COM .

Obviously Moi doesn't have to do that.

I was born on the guest list.

I'm. Jes. Sayin'.

Did you doubt?

What?

Did I mention that there will be Go Go's?

No, not Belinda or Jane.

Hot ones!

Why are you still reading this?

Shouldn't you be somewhere getting a Brazil wax?

Between your eyes.

That look only works in Tashkent.

EDUARDO CORDOVA PRESENTS
SUNDANZE @ JET Nightclub at The Mirage
3400 Las Vegas Boulevard South
Las Vegas, NV 89109

To Reserve the VIP for you and your Mean Girls give a ringle to 702-792-7900 .

1030pm - until Linsday Lohan shows up (that's always the time to leave).

Follow Eduardo Cordova Presents on Twitter at @EDUARDOPRESENTS

OFF THE STRIP WORTH THE TRIP: SATAY MALAYSIAN GRILLE

So sick Moi has been lately.

Oy.

And.

Vey.

In addition to fighting off a cold could only be God's revenge for my years without a moral compass ('06-'09,) I am now also getting rid of the weight gained during my Glam period ('09-'10).

The extra 73lbs I managed to add to my already voluptuous frame is no longer cuddly.

It's just gross.

Of course I have figured out a way to satisfy my need for attention whilst losing copious amounts of flab.

Of course.

Moi is the new Gay face of TRIMCARE Medical Weight Loss program.

It was only a matter of time.

Sooner or later it was gonna be going all Jennifer Hudson or opening supermarkets in Henderson.

But, Holly Madison has that market all to herself.

Hmph.

So.

Where was I?

Oh. Yes.

I was fat, sick and hungry.

That brings us to Satay Malaysian Grille.

Really.

I swear.

As I lay reinterpreting the deathbed scene from Camille, The Candidate called and suggested I leave the confines of The GayBoyClub to find the nourishment I so obviously needed.

Whilst not effing up my diet.

Of course.

Well.

Nothing seemed more appealing than some flavorful and spicy Tom Yum soup ($9.50-12.50) at Satay Malaysian Grille.

Nothing.

Moi likes a place where everybody knows my name and Satay is that type of place. The whole vibe is laid back and friendly. You can roll in feeling your worst or be on a first date all shaved up and you're always treated like a friend regardless. And while the view of the parking lot isn't much, Satay does offer outdoor seating in addition to your normal dining room set up. My fave spot to chillax here is the ultra lounge looking area at the rear of the restaurant that's perfect for getting together with a group of friends to order everything on the appetizer menu over a few hours.

My goal was soup and the Tom Yum did not fail me. Unlike my not so fave, Lotus of Siam, the cooks here understand that spicy doesn't have to mean everyone at the table should be crying like a 16 year old at her eighth screening of Black Swan. I asked for it to be cooked at level 7 and it cleared my nose while still leaving my palate intact.

The Candidate ordered a big bowl of meaty Oxtail soup ($11.95) that had plenty of meat to keep him busy for the entire meal. Being the bad friend that he is, The Candidate also ordered probably my two favorite appetizers on Earth, Salt and Pepper Shrimp ($7.95) and Scallops wrapped in Bacon ($6.95).

I whipped out my Android Calorie Counter and got to figuring. Luckily, I was still way under my allotted calories for the day and therefore, Moi dived in like a Pimp at bus station.

The Shrimps are lightly coated and perfectly fried. The seasoning is exactly right. You taste the salt and pepper just enough to miss it as the taste disappears down your palate. The shrimp are as perfectly cooked as any fried shrimp ever has been. Delicate, yet firm enough that they don't break apart when you try and just eat a tiny bit at a time because you never want that plate to be empty.

The Scallops manage to be light and well cooked even while the Bacon is cooked exactly to the point where it still has a meaty texture and is also perfectly crispy. On two skewers of four, this concoction will be my first cheat day meal when I've finally hit my goal weight.

Of course I avoided the Roti bread with Curry dipping sauce($5.50) and Lumpia ($5.50) The Candidate also ordered. I'm nothing if not determined and strong of will. In my fat and I don't care days I've tasted both so I feel pretty safe telling you about them. The Roti is always a hit whenever I've hosted groups at Satay. The curry sauce is nice and light with a tiny bit of after kick. The Lumpia, on the other hand, is just like Lumpia everywhere. I will never understand what people see in Lumpia that is not made by someone's boyfriend's Mom.

Of course Satay has all of the usual vittles you would expect in a South East Asian restaurant and you're safe with anything you order. I will suggest that you let the kitchen decide for you and just enjoy the flavor ride. They also have a really great Happy Hour menu from 3-6pm everyday and big screen TV's if you wanna kick it with friends and watch "The Game" (I have no idea what that means).

SATAY MALAYSIAN GRILLE

Everyday: 11 a.m. - 11 p.m.
Late Night Friday & Saturday 2 a.m.+

SATAY Thai Bistro & Bar
3900 Paradise Rd, Suite N
Las Vegas, NV 89169

702-369-8788

www.sataylasvegas.com

KIMBERLY COLE AT CLOSET SUNDAYS 2NITE!

KIMBERY COLE AT CLOSET SUNDAYS TONIGHT!

Moi loves a $5 drink whether it is Vodka (potato juice) or Beer.

But you knew that.

Didn’t you?

Of course you did.

Where was I?

Oh. Yes.

My fave place to drink, dance and partay like it’s 2009 is “Closet Sundays” at The Revolution Lounge. The world’s most adorablest promoter, Eduardo Cordova, has been hosting Closet Sundays at the Revolution Lounge ever since I first turned 21 a couple of years ago.

What?

Get your own blog and you can decide on your age. Bitch.

Anyways.

TONIGHT Diva Kimberly Cole will be performing and the Go Go’s will be Go Going starting at ten pm and going until your fairy Godmother says, “give me back my Crystal Disco Pumps!

So.

Swish on over to CLOSET SUNDAYS at The Revolution Lounge in The Mirage Resort & Casino tonight!

CLOSET SUNDAYS
REVOLUTION LOUNGE
THE MIRAGE RESORT & CASINO

3400 Las Vegas Boulevard South
Las Vegas, NV 89109



GUESTLIST AND RESERVATIONS CALL 702-693-8300

http://www.facebook.com/l/4fa21RYJDKOyBOGG4lGQRVuY5GA;WWW.EDUARDOPRESENTS.COM

FOLLOW US ON TWITTER@EDUARDOPRESENTS

KIMBERLY COLE "SMACK YOU"

REVIEW: DAVID SEDARIS' "THE SANTALAND DIARIES" STARRING JAMIE MORRIS

REVIEW: David Sedaris’ “The Santaland Diaries” starring Jamie Morris

The Onyx Theater
953 E Sahara (in The Commercial Center)
Bldg 16

December 9-12, 2010
4 Performances ONLY

I am very upset that I saw “The Santaland Diaries” starring Jamie Morris late on Saturday night.

I wish I had seen it Friday so that I could have beat the bushes to tell everyone to catch the last two performances of the weekend. Jamie Morris is not only a talented playwright and satirist, he is also quite a good little actor. I have no idea how long this show is because not once did I check my Android to see what was going on outside of The Onyx Theater as I was simply beguiled by Morris’s skill at holding an entire audiences attention.

Really.

I swear.

David Sedaris is quite a little imp himself and I feel that he would have gladly sat back and roared with laughter as I did if he were to see this spot on production of his holiday classic short story about a soon to be having a mid-life chrisis Soap Opera extra wannabe who ends up as the world’s wryest Elf at Macy’s. While the Elf dreams of having smart cocktails with the Buchanan’s and the Quartermaine’s in the one to two pm block of afternoon TV, his reality is boorish oafs from New Jersey (Are there any other kind? I’m jes sayin”.) and a Macy’s demanded “Elf name”.

His is “Crumpet”.

You would surely understand if he takes a swig from his flask ever so often.

Right?

Crumpet takes us from his Elf training sessions (picture the Death Marches of Bataan with a peppy Japanese warlord leading the way.) to the locker room where one of the more fetching Elfs might just be flirting his way into a bathroom scene right out of “Born Innocent” (starring Linda Blair as the whorish Elf). The forced frivolity starts as soon as he is thrown into a roomful of Soap Opera extras and, to put it kindly, weirdos who seem to think that asking if they can were their Elf costumes home is a perfectly reasonable request.

Not.

Morris keeps you not only entertained, but, interested.At no point did I notice the fact that this was a one man show. Morris is so good as the bitchy little, too clever for his own good Crumpet, that between him and the excellent set, staging, lighting and source material you never miss any other possible actors. He gives such dead on impersonations of dozens of characters that you automatically see them in your head and fill the stage yourself with his wit and your own imagination.

He’s that good.

My only disappointment with “The Santaland Diaries” is that it ends tonight.

Put your jacket own and get thee to The Onyx Theater now!

WORLD'S LARGEST H & M OPENS AT THE FORUM SHOPS IN LAS VEGAS!

Moi is quite used to the parties los fabulousos.

Quite.

Well.

Walking into the gigantic new H&M store at The Forum Shops in my little burgh I was actually taken aback at the ultraness of the fab.

Really.

I swear.

Giant Disco balls reminded me of long nights and early mornings a long, long time ago.

And Quaaludes.

But.

I digress.

H&M is the fabbest of the fab new places to spend one's ducats on the ultimate in stylish clothes for skinny people on a budget. This new store at The Forum Shops is by far and away the largest H&M outlet in the entire Mundo and it ROCKS! I can't tell you the last time I saw so much fashion under $50 that wasn't at a Salvation Army.

I just can't.

Because poor vous could not be there, I've included a little video of the VIP Grand Opening party of which I have just departed.

Enjoy my little fashion starved minions!

RACHEL WENMAN IS 25! I GUESS SHE'S OVER THE AGE LIMIT FOR HEF NOW? PARTY @ THE PLAYBOY CLUB 2NITE!

RACHEL WENMAN’S 25th Birthday! 944 Magazine Snitch performance by AMANDA BLANK!

Its my Chickie Girl Rachel Wenman’s 25th bday and the hizzouse will be kicking out the jams with Dj88 and M!KEATTACK. This is going to be the most insane party I promise you have ever been to (not me, you, don’t get it twisted). 944 magazine will be sponsoring the event as well, muy tastyiosa free drinks and rooms rates so low you don’t have to go back to your Mom’s place if you hook up. You can have a sleepover! COMPED ENTRY FOR ALL OF RACHEL WENMAN’S GUESTS!


HERE’S MISS AMANDA BLANK ! If you’re nice, she “Might Like You Better”!





The PlayBoy Club
Palms Resort & Casino
4321 West Flamingo Road Las Vegas,
NV 89103

LIKE SKATING ON THIN ICE? Check this deal out!

Moiself has oft been known to "come close to the edge", "grate on the last..","if you___with me one more time.." And "..on thin ice Missy!"

Really.

I swear.

Well.

Thin ice or thick (ooh, dirty), there is a great deal going on that you have only 13 hours left to take advantage of to get your Tonya Harding on.

Skate on over (Ugh, that was beneath me. Speaking of beneath me, where's the dog?) to Moi's fave place to score a deal (No, not those scary streets behind the Stratosphere!),"LIVING SOCIAL presents Las Vegas" and click on to one of the best deals in town.

For a mere $17 (US) you and three of your teamlettes can get skates and entry to The Las Vegas Ice Center!

It's true!

Just sign up with "LIVING SOCIAL presents Las Vegas" for this and a whole gaggle of holiday savings!

Here's how:

LIVING SOCIAL presents Las Vegas
http://livingsocial.com/deals/3532-ice-skating-for-17?ref=LVDeal111710_30_256email

Las Vegas Ice Center
9295 W. Flamingo Rd., Suite 130
Las Vegas, NV 89147
(702) 320-7777

Now, grab your spangled tankini and skate Bitch! Skate!

MOVIES I HAVE NO INTENTION OF SEEING THIS WEEKEND

FOR COLORED GIRLS

Starring: A bunch of really pissed off Strong and Angry Black Women. Gender Neutral Oscar winner Whoopi Goldberg.

What It's About: In a nutshell. All Black men exist simply to get on a Sistah's nerves.

Why I Have No Intention Of Seeing It: Two. Words. Lorena Bobbit.

DUE DATE

Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Jamie "Black Dudes With Iphones" Fox, Juliette "You Fuckers just thought my career was over! Drink my crazy juice fuckers!" Lewis, some white girl and that hairy guy that white guy hipsters think is really funny, but, isn't to anyone who can't quote The Big Lebowski.

I'm proud to say that I can't.

Quote The Big Lebowski.

That is.

What It's About: Have you ever seen ANY "odd couple buddy" movies? Someone's wife is about to spew forth progeny (who knew Robert Downey Jr. still had any sober sperm left?). Along the way The Sperminator meets up with that hella annoying hairy dude (no, not that Phoenix freak.) and hilarity ensues.

No it doesn't.

Blech.

Why I Have No Intention Of Seeing It: I don't like hairy people and Juliette Lewis scares me worse than John Wayne Gacey Clown portraits.


JACKASS 3D

Starring: A bunch of really annoying white boys.

What It's About: Attaching things to other dudes ball sacs and not thinking it's totally homo to be doing it.

Why I Have No Intention Of Seeing It: It's totally homo.

ALAIN NU "THE MAN WHO KNOWS" RETURNS TO VEGAS!

I like to pride myself on my ability to tell what's on a person's mind.

Really.

I swear.

For example; if I am on a date at a Steakhouse and I am looking at the right side of the menu where the Surf & Turf is, I know my date is thinking, "WTF! How much is this gonna cost me!?"

Or.

If I am eyeballing a pair of striped trousers, the salesgirl is more than likely thinking, "Really? Are you kidding me, or, yourself thinking about putting all that in those?"

See?

Well.

There's a man coming back to our little village Las by the name of Alain Nu and he's even better at the whole "I know what you're thinking" thing than even Moiself.

“My show challenges the mind to explore how we are all strangely connected through a mysterious energy,” said Alain Nu.

I have no idea what that means, but, ooooh.

Alain Nu has performed for Al Gore and at Presidential Inaugural Balls. He is also one of the hottest new releases over at Amazon with his new page turner,“Picture Your ESP! — Reveals Your Hidden Powers with The Nu ESP Test”. The Washington Post wrote of Alain,"To watch him is to throw out all the rules of physics. Time and space are malleable in Nu′s deft hands".

Oh. My.

“Nothing is impossible in my world,” says Alain Nu. “Think about it. With just our thoughts and words as tools of visualization, we have the beginnings of untold power.”

Okay.

Yeah, I don't know what that means either, but, this is one way out Cat for sure!

While he is reluctant to reveal his especially sensitive powers, Alain Nu acknowledges that his uncanny effects incorporate elements of probability, psychology, suggestion, professional techniques and good timing.

Ooooh, sounds like fun!

Well. I have no idea what you are doing on Saturdays during Alain Nu's exclusive Las Vegas run (What? I'm not getting paid to read YOUR mind!), but, I do know that you are wasting a perfectly good Saturday night if you aren't checking out Alain Nu at his "Invisible Connections" ESP show at the historic Clarion Hotel for the next six weeks.

Wasting. A. Perfectly. Good. Saturday. Night. I. Say.

So. Get out your wig hat and your high heel sneakers and plush on down to the show at The Clarion Hotel & Casino, 305 Convention Center Drive. Doors open at 9:40 p.m. and cocktail service will be available before and during the performance.

Tickets are $54.99 General Admission and $65.99 VIP Seating. Tickets and more information are available online at www.TheManWhoKnows.TV

Invisible Connections starring Alain Nu
The Clarion Hotel
305 Convention Center Drive (just off the Strip)
Saturdays @ 10pm

See you there.

Btw.

I know what you're thinking.

Ooooh.

SATURDAY 30 OCTOBER on THE SAUSAGE FACTORY

THE SAUSAGE FACTORY

SATURDAY 30 OCTOBER 10AM -1PM
www.vegasallnetradio.com



Hour 1
Steven Thrasher on how White America finally lost it and what’s so bad about Lt. Dan Choi. (Dan Choi was invited and accepted to be on this weeks show, but, never got back to us to be scheduled, maybe next week Dan?)

Ari Ezra Waldman with a DADT update and the latest on the election scene in Cali.

Hour 2
Cathy Renna on sexism and misogyny in the LGBT movement and issues affecting women such as DADT.

Ron Laurence from the Community Counseling Center of Las Vegas telling us how we all can help queer at risk youth.

Hour 3
Doug Harris is the Producer of “The Glenn Burke Story” about one man’s struggle to be a Gay man and still be part of America’s Pastime, baseball.

Paco Alvarez will fill us in on where to get your Freak & Squeak on this Halloween here in The City That Never Sleeps.

Jane Heenan will talk about whether or not it’s time for Derek to change the tune on Ask A Tranny.

Political News
Entertainment News
Twitter Trenz with @LauraKMM

SATURDAY 30 OCTOBER 10AM -1PM
www.vegasallnetradio.com

GUILT FREE GLAM WITH BRITTANY WILLIAMS MISS NEVADA 2010

GUILT FREE GLAM WITH BRITTANY WILLIAMS MISS NEVADA 2010

FX You Salon & Spa will join with Miss Nevada 2010, Brittany Williams, to raise funds and awareness for CHILD FOCUS a non-profit organization providing education, case management and the tools children in the foster care system will need to help them become strong and productive adults in their community.

Great raffle prizes and a luxurious silent auction will take place at chic FX You Salon and Spa along with Happy Hour cocktails.

All proceeds will go to Child Focus.


GUILT FREE GLAM at Fx You Salon and Spa
5:30 to 8:30
Thursday 21 October at FX You Salon & Spa
7020 North Durango, Las Vegas, NV 89149

Media Contact:
Alptamise L. Hailey-Hinds
702.528.0757

Owner/CHI-ssential Wellness
www.chi-ssentialwellness.com
www.facebook.com/alptamise
http://www.firstgiving.com/chi-ssentialwellness

CELEBRATE FREEDOM WITH THE ACLU AND FRANNY FORSMAN

DEFENDING LIBERTY WITH THE ACLU of NEVADA

8TH ANNUAL CELEBRATION of CIVIL LIBERTIES

HONORING FRANNY FORSMAN
Federal Public Defender for the District of Nevada

Saturday 16, October 16, 2010

MUNDO A Culinary Haute Hot Spot

Six to Nine pm

The World Market Center 495 S Grand Central pkwy Bldg A



You may not know this, but, Moiself is a great defender of Liberties.

I take them often.

Really.

I swear.

I also am rather fond of celebrating.

Anything.

I will jump and down at a Stucky’s Grand Opening if they are giving away tiny little tasty bits.

And booze.

Tonight, the ACLU of Nevada is having a rather special little celebration at one of Moi’s favorite little palaces of tasty bits, Mundo Restaurant. It seems that the ACLU is holding a party to honor not only it’s own 90th birthday (Wow 90 years! They’ve been defending Liberties longer than I’ve been taking them!), they are also honoring a true defender of Liberty.

Not me.

I came in second runner up.

I can never win a contest that includes both swimsuit & congeniality.

Franny Forsman is being honored with the Emilie Wanderer Civil Libertarian Award.

I didn’t want it anyway, there’s no Crown. Or Sash.

Franny’s hard work is the essence of American Patriotism. As a defender of the Liberties that make this country the place that billions of people around the world look up to and admire.

They do.

Well. Tonight Franny will be the star attraction at what promises to be a perfectly lovely evening at MUNDO Restaurant and you really should comb your hair and come out for Liberty.

And Franny Forsman.

Et Liberte.

That’s French.

See you tonight!

DEFENDING LIBERTY
Honoring Franny Forsman

MUNDO Restaurant six to nine pm


The World Market Center 495 S Grand Central pkwy Bldg A

Tickets $175 rsvp 702-366-1536 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting              702-366-1536      end_of_the_skype_highlighting at www.aclunv.org or in cash or by check at the door

THIS WEEK ON THE SAUSAGE FACTORY!

THE SAUSAGE FACTORY Saturday 16, October
10am – 1pm (West Coast Time)

www.vegasallnetradio.com



12:23 Ross Levi Empire State Pride Agenda with the latest on Carl “WTF?” Paladino

10:40 Ari Ezra Waldman on where are we on DADT

11 Rory Reid the Democratic candidate for Governor of Nevada on his race and debating a phantom candidate..

11:23 Jon Ralston is Nevada’s premier pundit with a rundown of the Harry Reid vs Sharron Angle debate.

11:46 Peter Gariano is running against (alleged) homophobe John Bonaventura for Las Vegas Constable and possibly causing Derek to vote Republican for the first time ever.

12:13 Robert Randolph is the author of “You’ll Never Spa In This Town Again” a no holds barred rundown on which Hollywood “A-Listers” are getting the rubdown in steamrooms around the City of Angels.

12:30 Bonnie Jacobs is our little “Murder She Wrote” with her findings on John Ventura and his messy and murky past.

12:45 Mara Keisling is on hand to tell us why our “Ask A Tranny” segment is not exactly kosher.

THE SAUSAGE FACTORY Saturday 16, October
10am – 1pm (West Coast Time)

www.vegasallnetradio.com

THIS WEEK ON THE SAUSAGE FACTORY!

THE SAUSAGE FACTORY 09 OCTOBER 2010

10AM -1PM (WEST COAST TIME)

www.vegasallnetradio.com


As usual The Sausage Factory has a stellar lineup of the smart and the sublime.

Who? You ask.

You did.

Ask.

Here you go.

10:23 Chris Geidner from Metro Weekly with all the latest from DC

10:45 Jane Heenan with “Ask A Tranny”

11:00 Ari Ezra Waldmon is back with his “Legal Eagle” eye on the news.

11:18 Jeff Garafolo of “Republicans for Reid” to talk about being a Gay Republican.

11:49 Zerlina Maxwell with “This Week in Blackness”

Noon Tony Clark who will give us the rundown on this year’s National Coming Out Day.

12:13 The Cast of The Rocky Horror Picture Show at The Onyx Theater.

12:28 Shaun Sewell On the World Gay Rodeo Finals presented by the International Gay Rodeo Association

12:43 Paco Alvarez The most semi-famous Museologist and really hip local man about town.

12:50 Juan Espinoza-Cuellar The activist and poet with the poem that he created for Stonewall’s “It Gets Better” rally.

Twitter Trenz @LauraKMM gives us the latest updates on what’s trending in the Twittosphere.

THE SAUSAGE FACTORY
10AM -1PM (WEST COAST TIME)

www.vegasallnetradio.com

ZELINA MAXWELL,

CHRIS MILLER'S 50TH BIRTHDAY PARTY! REALLY. I SWEAR.

CHRIS MILLER IS 50! (Really. I Swear. Cut him in half and count the rings.)


So, My bestie, Chris Miller, is (finally) having his 50th birthday party.

That's him in the picture above.

On the right.

Anyways, we are going to be celebrating his 50 years on planet Earth and his general ,uh, goodness (?) on this Sunday 10 October from 6-9pm in the garden at The Bar Bistro (The Arts Factory) 107 e Charleston 89104 at Casino Center.

Come and enjoy some cake and small finger type food thingees whilst watching me revel in the age difference between myself and Chris.

Did I write that out loud?

My bad.

The Garden at Bar Bistro is accessible to those with disabilities, so, all are encouraged to join us. We will have a full cash bar, and yes, the birthday boy does expect to be bought copious amount of adult beverages.

While we're on the subject.

We were.

On the subject.

The birthday boy will be receiving a REALLY cool gift on Sunday morning. It MUST STAY A SUPER SECRET! If you would like to be there for that gift, please email me and I will give you the details. BUT, no matter what, PLEASE join us for cake and booze from 6-9pm.

Btw, the birthday boy would love it if someone would get him a gift certificate to Target.

He needs underwear and socks.

He TOLD me that!

I would have no way of knowing otherwise.

WE ARE NOT TOGETHER.

But, he would make a fine catch for someone worthy of him.

He makes me say that.

Questions?

No?

Good.

CHRIS TURNS 50
SUNDAY 10 OCTOBER
The Garden at Bar Bistro (The Arts Factory)
107 E Charleston blvd 89104
Contact via text
Derek 702 576 4978
Sandy 702 400 3613

Uncensored Voices: Celebrating Literary Freedom

I know that when one thinks of Moi, one usually thinks bottle service, VIP lounges with minor local celebrities and massive quantities of Aleve.

But.

One would be surprised to find out that I am actually a rather well read Gay in The Village of Las.

One would.

Not only have I read 14 volumes of Winston Churchill's War Diaries, I am proud to have read such tomes as Zsa Zsa Gabor's autobiography (she lost it to a Sultan in 1814 or something), Suzanne Somers books, and pretty much every book with pictures since Jack went up that hill.

Suprised?

Quelle. (That's "we've never won a war", you know, French.)

Well.

On Thursday 30 September, the ACLU is hosting an event for the cells upstairs.

"Uncensored Voices: Celebrating Literary Freedom" is a celebration of all that was once considered bad.

Much like Moi.

Considered bad. That is.

Can you imagine that American legends like Allen Ginsberg and that Burroughs fellow were once considered so risque that they were BANNED?

Can.

You.

Imagine?

Of course, being banned makes everyone want to run out and possess whatever has been banned. Witness my popularity in certain suburbs of Bucharest.

Well.

If you have any good Colombian ,or, possibly a Quaalude you found in an old pair of Bonjour jeans in the back of your closet, you simple must get theeself down to The Clark County Library (it's a place where they keep books. You know. BOOKS.) for this groovy event for the cerebellum.

Here's a list of some of those bringing the Kulcha to our Village Las:

...--Iranian author Moniro Ravanipour, reading from her novel An Angel on Earth.
--Las Vegas author Dayvid Figler, reading from Howl, by Allen Ginsberg
--Flo Rogers (Nevada Public Radio), reading from 1984, by George Orwell
--Kim Russell (Smith Center for the Performing Arts), reading from The Pocketbook Game by Alice Childress
--Georgia Neu (Anti-Defamation League), reading from Mrs. Warren's Profession by George Bernard Shaw
--Dr. Amanda Morgan (Erotic Heritage Museum)
--Professor Timothy O'Grady (Black Mountain Institute Bennett Fellow)
--Local philanthropist Beverly Rogers, reading from The Color Purple
--Activist Xuan Carlos Espinoza-Cuellar, reading from Bless Me, Ultima by Rudolfo Anaya
--Students from the Green Valley High School theater department, with monologues from The Laramie Project

I'm exhausted from just thinking about all that talent sharing air avec Moi! (that's "our women do not need to shave the hair of their underarms!" You know, French.)

The event will take place during the American Library Association’s Banned Books week, which runs from September 25-October 2nd, 2010. Programs are held across the country each year to draw attention to the many well-known and well-loved literary works that are frequently challenged or banned in communities nationwide.

Uncensored Voices will be a compelling and entertaining evening that teaches everyone about the real risks of censorship in society, both past and present.

Event Details:
• Thursday, September 30; Reception at 7PM, Program at 7:30PM
• Clark County Library Theater, 1401 E. Flamingo Road, Las Vegas
• Free admission & refreshments
• Sponsored by the Vegas Valley Book Festival, the ACLU of Nevada, the Las Vegas-Clark County Library District, and UNLV's Black Mountain Institute.


I will be there.

I am sure you will be as well.

I am sure.

OFF THE STRIP, WORTH THE TRIP: NAKED BOYS SINGING!

There's one secret only a select few know about Moiself.

No, not the time I was deported from Her Majesty's Kingdom.

Oops.

Two secrets.

Well. The truth of the matter is that in spite of my rather, how we say, saucy reparte (that's stinky cheese eater, you know French), I am actually quite, um, prudish.

Yup. It's true Selena Gomez, I am rather squeamish when it comes down to the actual messy messy thing.

You. Know. Sex.

I blush whilst writing at the mere thought of chains, whips, diuretics and cheap motels south of The Luxor.

Uh.

I digress.

Where was I?

Oh. Yes. Sex.

So. When the sexy et urbane J.D. Jensen invited Moiself and my bestie Chris Miller to see the long running production "Naked Boys Singing" at the Onyx Theater, I blushed as Chris jumped at the chance to see danglies mere feet in front of us.

As the show started I got that feeling one gets going up in a roller coaster that you only got on to please the guy that you ended up leaving after he screamed like a little Bitch during the 2 minutes 35 that the ride took to go all the way through.

Was that a dangling participle?

Speaking of dangling, Oh My Gawd Chandler Bing!

Right there. On stage.

Penis's. Peni? Penises?

Big. Small. In between.

Goldilocks could have been there forever trying to make a decision.

Honestly. When am I not?

Rhetorical question.

Bitch.

I spent the first twenty minutes trying to look anywhere but straight ahead. I can tell you about the pianist, the curtains and the back of the panting man in the front rows head.

Anything but the peen.

Then, as if by magic, I began to realize something.

These boys could sing!

Not only sing, but, sing little ditties about Robert Mitchum and being "The Best Little Porn Star from Skokie, Illinois"! They had me laughing and,occasionally, ready to get misty with their renditions.

There were funny songs, melancholy odes to the love that got away ,but, never went away and even a really clever number that reduced all of the wangs nicknames into a rousing little anthem complete with choir robes.

Well.

Not actually robes. More like the little stringy things that go around the necks of altar boys.

No, silly, not priests fingers!

I had to.

Really.

I swear.

Tee. Hee.

I guess what I'm saying is that if you like great singing and well written songs along with gratuitous weenie, then you simply must go see "Naked Boys Singing."

You.

Simply.

Must.

A word. To the wise.

Don't sit in the front row.

It's the splash zone.

Ooooh.

NAKED BOYS SINGING

THE ONYX THEATER
953 E SAHARA (IN THE COMMERCIAL CENTER IN THE RACK CLOTHING STORE)
89104

Performances Friday / Saturday / Sunday

Hint: Get a season pass to The Onyx and see several shows for the price of one overpriced Clowns on a high wire doing acrobatics acid trip on The Strip show.

OFF THE STRIP, WORTH THE TRIP: THE COFFEE SHOP AT THE GOLD SPIKE HOTEL AND CASINO

Occasionally, one might just be short of El Presidente Muerta.

You know.

Cash.

That, in and of itself, is bad enough. Now. Add hunger.

Yikes!

Fret no more Flaca.

Fret.

No.

More.

Nope.

Now there is a place smack dab in the middle of my part of Le Village Las. A place that has undergone the kind of transformation that would make Joan Rivers cry.

If her tear ducts weren't currently located on the nape of her neck.

This place of city chic?

Hold your hats and hallelujah, The Style Guy is gonna give it to ya!

The Gold Spike Hotel and Casino is the kind of place that used to make fleas think twice about stopping in. I jest you not. Back in the day you used to be able to smell this place from LAX. The sharp scent of skank would assault you like a Panzer division visiting a small Polish village.

No. Mas.

Someone obviously took a heavy duty steam cleaner and a course from HGTV and turned this former dump into a rather swell little gem for travelers on Le budget.

But, unlike The Strip which we locals avoid like Lindsay Lohan avoids a urine test, The Gold Spike has something that works for us too. The Coffee Shop at The Gold Spike is where the $4.99 Prime Rib of yore went to reinvent itself like Cher on a budget.

Everything about the place is, well, pleasant. The staff is extremely friendly and the decor is modern in a David Bromstead sort of way. White plastic chairs look perfect next to bleached, jagged rock walls. Unlike many coffee shops, you aren't assaulted with nasty fluorescent lighting that makes you feel like Marilyn Manson on the walk of shame after a hard night. It's bright and airy.

Oh.

Yeah.

The grubbage.

You can enjoy the food here. What I mean by that is, unlike other cheap places, you aren't eating here only because it's cheap. The spaghetti and meatballs is old fashioned somebody's mom made it good. The salads are all huge, with crisp, fresh ingredients. The fabled $4.99 Prime Rib may not be like the Prime Rib at Ruth Chris's, but, you also have change from a twenty after buying a cheap date a good meal.

And who doesn't like that?

A cheap date.

Dumbass.

THE GOLD SPIKE HOTEL AND CASINO COFFEE SHOP
217 LAS VEGAS BLVD N
89101