Every Gay needs a Girl.
Really.
I swear.
Tom and that skinny chick.
Wil and that dykesque midget.
John and that cypher-y dame.
Oh wait.
That's every Scientologist needs a beard.
Oopsies.
My bad.
What I meant was that every Gay needs needs a frantic White chick who's on the verge of hitting some slow Bitch with a bottle of Robotussin (that she's buying, "just in case.") in line at the Von's self check out.
You know the type: Fab "vintage" coat over dirty sweats in full "walk of shame" makeup at 12:45pm.
On a Tuesday.
Her name is always the type that hides the inner crazy Bitch just on the other side of her 2 seasons ago Prada Mary Janes.
Sherry?
No.
Suzi?
Sometimes.
Amy?
Hells to the yeah!
If you don't have your own personal semi crazy White girl, Amy Alkon will do until you find a Sherry or a Suzi of your own.
Not sure if you should tell that lady that her 6 year old already looks like a slut?
Ask Amy.
Wanna know if it's cool to tell a guy you can't date him anymore because you've nicknamed his penis, "the Gherkin"?
Ask Amy.
Hell, just stop bothering me!
Ask Amy!
www.advicegoddess.com
Oh yeah, buy her damn book!
"I See Rude People: One woman's battle to beat some manners into impolite society"
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