Wednesday, May 5, 2010

IT'S CINCO DE MUNDO TIME!


Not only is 05 de Mayo a time for partying Latin Style, now, it's a time for hangin' Muy Deliciosa Estilo!

Ok, I went to school in the suburbs, Moi's Espanol might be a little West Covina.

BUT.

I'm simply trying to tell you that it's time to get your Grub y Fiesta on at the best Haute Mexican Comida place in town, MUNDO!

First. I'll fill you in on The Hour of The Happy.

Everything from "Street Style" Tacos (YUM!)at $3 to my personal fave, the "Queso Flameado" which is a gooey blend of Asadero and Goat Cheese along with all sorts of other deelishesness topped off with a Serrano Chile Drizzle!

Did I say Yum yet?

YUM!

Of course it wouldn't be Cinco De anything without a selection of tasty Beers and specialty Cocktails.

Of. Course.

MUNDO has a killer bar area for chatting and barstool falling.

I mean conversating.

It's a word.

En El Barrio.

Make sure you try the Drink de Casa, the "Alien Cosmos"!

Or.

You can always have the drink that they named after Moiself, the "Sassy Senorita", a muy sassy blend of fresh lime, 100% Blue Agave Tequila and Prickly Pear Puree (see, I told you they named it after Moi! Who is more "Prickly" than Moiself? I ask.).

BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!

OVER A DOZEN BEERS ARE JUST $2 OR DOS PRESIDENTS DEL MUERTE!

Happy hour is from 3 - 6 pm in the Bar / Lounge area, btw.

BUT WAIT! THERE'S EVEN MAS!

MAS! I TELL YOU!

MAS!

MUNDO is also where you should be having your Cinco Dinner!

Okay, I have to admit, I am ADDICTED to MUNDO'S "Poblano Corn" Soup!

Well, that and Prada, but, I digress.

And At only $8, I can afford a hella lot more of the Poblano than the Spring/Summer 2010 collection.

Also, don't leave until you've had the OMG! tasty "Sea Scallops" with a most interesting Avocado leaf crust.

Ok, I must say yum again.

YUM!

OMG Heather! Moi is getting a might thirsty and muy Hungriosa!

It's a word.

So, get yourself on to the Hautest spot in The Downtown, MUNDO, and get your Cinco on!

HINT: Ask for a seat outside and enjoy the comings and goings!


MUNDO

A Culinary Haute Spot

(702) 270-4400

Downtown @ The World Market Center
495 S Grand Central Pky
Las Vegas, NV 89106

www.mundolasvegas.com

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

THE LATEST FROM MISS B!

I don't know when it happened, wait, yes I do.

I first got a boner for Beyonce when she Stripper walked down an L.A. alley in the "Crazy In Love" vid.

Everything since then has been spot on.

"Telephone" with Ga Ga is so over the top my head is still pounding from the meth attack on film that it is.

Now?

The latest from B!

"WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME?"









BEST PLACES TO BREAK UP IN THE LV (AND THE WORST!) PT 2: HOT DOGS


In my never ending quest to help you get through the rough spots of life (stylishly of course), I realize that many of us need to accomplish things on a budget.

Hence.

A little hint on where to end a love gone bad on the cheap.

Everyone loves Hot Dogs.

Slow down Freud Lite, no need to go all Minister on RentBoy.com.

Sometimes a Hot Dog is just a Hot Dog.

So.

Where's the best place to break up while shoving a thin casing covering meat down your throat?

Ok, that was funny.

But. I digress.

BEST HOT DOG PLACE TO BREAK UP
MERMAIDS CASINO
32 Fremont St
Las Vegas, NV 89136
(702) 382-5777

There's no better place to chow down on a Foot Long Coney Island Hot Dog covered in everything God created to give your soon to be Ex a massive coronary than Mermaids on Fremont Street.

The Dogs here start at .99c and the Skank watching is gratis. The place is a cacophony of loud music and emergency sirens. The noise covers any screaming that may ensue and the small ducats spent mean you can run out in a manufactured huff without having spent a paycheck.

By the by. If the now Ex leaves first, have a Fried Twinkie.

Yum.

WORST HOT DOG PLACE TO BREAK UP
ORANGE JULIUS
THE BOULEVARD MALL
LAS VEGAS
NV 89169-3037
702-894-5221

First of all, WTF are you doing dating someone you would be in the Boulevard Mall with? I mean, what are you doing, filming an episode of "Flava of Love"?

Ghetto.

Now, we all love a tasty, frosty delish Orange Julius Orange foamy thingee.

But.

Imagine that Orange thingee all over your new Ed Hardy Douche T.

Not pretty.

Worst part is that at The Boulevard Mall those ghetto bitches won't turn away embarrassed for you. Aw Hells To The No!

Your ass will be videophoned up to YouTube under "Gay Breakup At Ghetto Ass Mall" so quick your girls will be laughing at you by the time you hit Krave that night.

AND.

Any potential next Exes are forewarned that your ass will take them to some random ghetto ass mall to break up with them.

Not cute.

BEST PLACES TO BREAK UP IN THE LV (AND THE WORST!) PT 1: WITH A VIEW


Let's be honest here.

If "Spring Is For Lovers" then "Summer Is For Others".

I mean, honestly, who wants to be tied down in Vegas during Pool Party Season?

Who?

So, in the interest of your best, I've decided to make things a tad easier on you when you decide to break up with that pasty ball of dough you managed to make it through a gift certificate from The Gap at Christmas and some Walgreens chocolates on Valentines Day with.

But wait Mon Petite Lothario, in the interest of saving you a bit of embarrassment, I've also included the places you DON'T want to break up! After all, a breakup can be easy like KY on a Turkey baster or messy like ,well, any member of the Lohan family.

No one likes messy.

No. One.

Herewith, the best places IN THE LV to break(and NOT)up with a not so significant anymore other.

Really.

I swear.

TO BREAK UP WITH A VIEW:

SKYJUMP LAS VEGAS @ THE STRATOSPHERE
2000 Las Vegas Boulevard South Las Vegas, NV 89104

After a short lesson in safety (not that you care anymore), your loved one is strapped in a harness 108 stories above The Strip and standing on the edge of the tallest building West of someplace I'm not interested in.

A quick kiss.

The words, "I'm thinking we should see other people".

A quick shove.

Voila!

You are free!

Best part? The elevators at The Stratosphere are so fast that you can probably wave goodbye from the street below just about the time your freshly ex is hovering over the pavement safely in that harness.

Best $100 you've ever spent.

That harness, I mean.

Jump Hours: 12pm - 7pm
Store Hours: 10am - 10pm

$99.99 Per Jump

PACKAGE 1: Jump/DVD $114.99
In addition to the jump, get a DVD recording of the event.
PACKAGE 2: Jump/DVD/PHOTO $129.99
Includes one jump, a DVD record of the event and a photo of the high flyer.
PACKAGE 3: Jump/T-Shirt/DVD $130.99
Your jump comes with one T-shirt plus a DVD documenting the event.

WORST PLACE TO BREAK UP WITH A VIEW:

MT CHARLESTON 35 Miles West of Las Vegas

While it's alluring mix of cool air and hiking combined with GORGEOUS views may make Mt. Charleston seem like a great place to break up with a view, it is decidedly not.

Drawbacks, you ask?

For one thing, 35 miles is quite a while to be in the motor vehicle with someone who grates on your nerves like a fat stripper on a dry pole.

Also, unlike the Sky Jump Las Vegas, there is no harness involved and shoving someone from a high spot onto a rocky below is a Felony.

The Resort on Mount Charleston
2 Kyle Canyon Rd
Las Vegas, Nevada 89124
Toll Free: (888) 559-1888
Local: (702) 872-5500



Saturday, May 1, 2010

IT'S OFFICIAL! HEAVEN IS YOUR AFTER PARTY PRIDE PLACE!


Wanna get your After Pride on?

Of course you do.

Who ya gonna call?

You ask.

I tell.

HEAVEN!

Of course Super Club Cutie Eduardo Cordova is your host for The Official After Pride Party at HEAVEN!

Did you doubt?

If you haven't been to HEAVEN, well, you simply haven't been.

Really.

I swear.

Of course at an Eduardo Cordova Presents one would expect the best muzak.

One would.

Well.

Tonight, E to the C is throwing TWO , count 'em TWO DJ's at ya!

First up, L.A.'s loss tonight is HEAVEN's gain. DJ Monteiro is in the city that never stops partying all the way from The Abbey in Weho to get the after party started!

BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!

LIVE!

PERFORMANCES!

Paradiso Girls, Erika Jayne and The Vixxens are giving it to you in the real live!

Might there be more?

You ask.

WELL, DUH!

Super Duper International DJ Hector Fonseca will be in the music cage making yo rump pump to the beat!

As per usual, all of this Funosity is FREE up 'till 12am Midnite for locals and the lucky ones on the list du guest!

Wanna get on that list?

How bad?

Tee. Hee.

Oh, I'll just tell you how.

Give the most Fuego VIP host Jason Baca @ 702 485 9294 a jingle for all of your VIP needs!

HEAVEN @ BARE POOL
THE MIRAGE
3400 S. Las Vegas Blvd., Las Vegas, NV 89109

Open from 10pm until I decide you should leave.i






International DJ Hector Fonseca
Opening DJ Monteiro (from The Abbey LA)

Performances by:
Paradiso Girls
Erika Jayne
The Vixxens

Doors at 10:30pm

Free for locals & guest list until 12a