Not only is 05 de Mayo a time for partying Latin Style, now, it's a time for hangin' Muy Deliciosa Estilo!
Ok, I went to school in the suburbs, Moi's Espanol might be a little West Covina.
I'm simply trying to tell you that it's time to get your Grub y Fiesta on at the best Haute Mexican Comida place in town, MUNDO!
First. I'll fill you in on The Hour of The Happy.
Everything from "Street Style" Tacos (YUM!)at $3 to my personal fave, the "Queso Flameado" which is a gooey blend of Asadero and Goat Cheese along with all sorts of other deelishesness topped off with a Serrano Chile Drizzle!
Did I say Yum yet?
Of course it wouldn't be Cinco De anything without a selection of tasty Beers and specialty Cocktails.
MUNDO has a killer bar area for chatting and barstool falling.
I mean conversating.
It's a word.
En El Barrio.
Make sure you try the Drink de Casa, the "Alien Cosmos"!
You can always have the drink that they named after Moiself, the "Sassy Senorita", a muy sassy blend of fresh lime, 100% Blue Agave Tequila and Prickly Pear Puree (see, I told you they named it after Moi! Who is more "Prickly" than Moiself? I ask.).
BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!
OVER A DOZEN BEERS ARE JUST $2 OR DOS PRESIDENTS DEL MUERTE!
Happy hour is from 3 - 6 pm in the Bar / Lounge area, btw.
BUT WAIT! THERE'S EVEN MAS!
MAS! I TELL YOU!
MUNDO is also where you should be having your Cinco Dinner!
Okay, I have to admit, I am ADDICTED to MUNDO'S "Poblano Corn" Soup!
Well, that and Prada, but, I digress.
And At only $8, I can afford a hella lot more of the Poblano than the Spring/Summer 2010 collection.
Also, don't leave until you've had the OMG! tasty "Sea Scallops" with a most interesting Avocado leaf crust.
Ok, I must say yum again.
OMG Heather! Moi is getting a might thirsty and muy Hungriosa!
It's a word.
So, get yourself on to the Hautest spot in The Downtown, MUNDO, and get your Cinco on!
HINT: Ask for a seat outside and enjoy the comings and goings!
A Culinary Haute Spot
Downtown @ The World Market Center 495 S Grand Central Pky Las Vegas, NV 89106
In my never ending quest to help you get through the rough spots of life (stylishly of course), I realize that many of us need to accomplish things on a budget.
A little hint on where to end a love gone bad on the cheap.
Everyone loves Hot Dogs.
Slow down Freud Lite, no need to go all Minister on RentBoy.com.
Sometimes a Hot Dog is just a Hot Dog.
Where's the best place to break up while shoving a thin casing covering meat down your throat?
Ok, that was funny.
But. I digress.
BEST HOT DOG PLACE TO BREAK UP MERMAIDS CASINO 32 Fremont St Las Vegas, NV 89136 (702) 382-5777
There's no better place to chow down on a Foot Long Coney Island Hot Dog covered in everything God created to give your soon to be Ex a massive coronary than Mermaids on Fremont Street.
The Dogs here start at .99c and the Skank watching is gratis. The place is a cacophony of loud music and emergency sirens. The noise covers any screaming that may ensue and the small ducats spent mean you can run out in a manufactured huff without having spent a paycheck.
By the by. If the now Ex leaves first, have a Fried Twinkie.
WORST HOT DOG PLACE TO BREAK UP ORANGE JULIUS THE BOULEVARD MALL LAS VEGAS NV 89169-3037 702-894-5221
First of all, WTF are you doing dating someone you would be in the Boulevard Mall with? I mean, what are you doing, filming an episode of "Flava of Love"?
Now, we all love a tasty, frosty delish Orange Julius Orange foamy thingee.
Imagine that Orange thingee all over your new Ed Hardy Douche T.
Worst part is that at The Boulevard Mall those ghetto bitches won't turn away embarrassed for you. Aw Hells To The No!
Your ass will be videophoned up to YouTube under "Gay Breakup At Ghetto Ass Mall" so quick your girls will be laughing at you by the time you hit Krave that night.
Any potential next Exes are forewarned that your ass will take them to some random ghetto ass mall to break up with them.
If "Spring Is For Lovers" then "Summer Is For Others".
I mean, honestly, who wants to be tied down in Vegas during Pool Party Season?
So, in the interest of your best, I've decided to make things a tad easier on you when you decide to break up with that pasty ball of dough you managed to make it through a gift certificate from The Gap at Christmas and some Walgreens chocolates on Valentines Day with.
But wait Mon Petite Lothario, in the interest of saving you a bit of embarrassment, I've also included the places you DON'T want to break up! After all, a breakup can be easy like KY on a Turkey baster or messy like ,well, any member of the Lohan family.
No one likes messy.
Herewith, the best places IN THE LV to break(and NOT)up with a not so significant anymore other.
TO BREAK UP WITH A VIEW:
SKYJUMP LAS VEGAS @ THE STRATOSPHERE 2000 Las Vegas Boulevard South Las Vegas, NV 89104
After a short lesson in safety (not that you care anymore), your loved one is strapped in a harness 108 stories above The Strip and standing on the edge of the tallest building West of someplace I'm not interested in.
A quick kiss.
The words, "I'm thinking we should see other people".
A quick shove.
You are free!
Best part? The elevators at The Stratosphere are so fast that you can probably wave goodbye from the street below just about the time your freshly ex is hovering over the pavement safely in that harness.
Best $100 you've ever spent.
That harness, I mean.
Jump Hours: 12pm - 7pm Store Hours: 10am - 10pm
$99.99 Per Jump
PACKAGE 1: Jump/DVD $114.99 In addition to the jump, get a DVD recording of the event. PACKAGE 2: Jump/DVD/PHOTO $129.99 Includes one jump, a DVD record of the event and a photo of the high flyer. PACKAGE 3: Jump/T-Shirt/DVD $130.99 Your jump comes with one T-shirt plus a DVD documenting the event.
WORST PLACE TO BREAK UP WITH A VIEW:
MT CHARLESTON 35 Miles West of Las Vegas
While it's alluring mix of cool air and hiking combined with GORGEOUS views may make Mt. Charleston seem like a great place to break up with a view, it is decidedly not.
Drawbacks, you ask?
For one thing, 35 miles is quite a while to be in the motor vehicle with someone who grates on your nerves like a fat stripper on a dry pole.
Also, unlike the Sky Jump Las Vegas, there is no harness involved and shoving someone from a high spot onto a rocky below is a Felony.
The Resort on Mount Charleston 2 Kyle Canyon Rd Las Vegas, Nevada 89124 Toll Free: (888) 559-1888 Local: (702) 872-5500