Yes, it's time to get out the Visa Cards and head down to the mall to spend money on worthless crap.
All in the name of a lovely chap named, Jesus.
Something tells me that Mr. non designer sandals and belted sackcloth would probably not approve of our consumerist ways at this time of year.
I like Prada and if anyone's smart, there'll be some under my Christmas tree.
Ok, I don't have a Christmas tree.
Just leave it under the mat.
No. You may not have any of my Eggnog.
Where was I?
This time of the year sucks for another reason.
It's Oscar Bait time!
Ou et les "Oscar Bait"?
That's French for, "2 hours from now you will have spent $40 and your butt will be asleep."
As will I.
Next to your butt.
So, here is my annual list of movies I have no intention of seeing this Holiday Season.
Yes, it's a tradition.
The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus
Heath Ledger, Johnny Depp, Jude Law and every other actor in Hollywood who looks like they need a bath.
WHY I'M NOT SEEING IT:
What is this, the cast of "White Punks on Dope"?
I have to be honest, I don't care about Heath Ledger. I just don't. He's dead. Great career move. Best ever. Even that has been done before. Better. See: Elvis, Marilyn, Robin Leach.
Johhny Depp still owes me several hours of my life for those Gawdawful Pirate movies. I'm not just handing over another 6 hours (it is a Gilliam flick) so he can drag me threw Terry Gilliam's oh so retro drug flashbacks.
Yo Gilliam! Nobody parties in Marrakech anymore.
I saw Colin Farrell's nudie.
Fare thee well.
Just don't expect me to love it.
I could give a rats smegma who's in this crap.
WHY I'M NOT SEEING IT:
I grew up in West Covina, California. If I wanted to spend two hours with mutants, I would've gone to my high school reunion.
AND I could've had some vodka so I wouldn't have to look at 'em.
A bunch of people that make me glad "Smellovision" never caught on.
WHY I'M NOT SEEING IT:
It's Romanian fer chrissakes!
The last thing that those people did well was track down and kill that Chowchescue woman.
Pass the blinis, and the ticket stand.
Chipmunks Act Like Chipmunks, Not Chipmonks
Those Gay ass Chipmunks, Alvina, Theodora and Kelly Rowland.
WHY I'M NOT SEEING IT:
These guys remind me of when I used to know Tweakers.
Evidently there are some VERY friendly people living right in my own arrondissement.
Tonight, you can meet some of those "Precious Sluts" AND get inked! Vitamin Water and my Gurls over at Wingwoman Tours are revving up "Slice" A Social Club Event where you can get "INK'D" at Precious Slut Tattoo downtown.
In Las Vegas.
Always wondering if the gift you spent hours looking for will somehow end up being "regifted" by your no good for nothing ex?
Give the gift that keeps on giving this year.
No silly, not herpes.
This holiday season get your loved ones INK'd! 10% off all tattoos or $20 off tattoos $100..00 or more and 10% off all body piercing.
Let them try and regift that.
Not gonna happen
Did you have any doubt?
Tattoo Collector Phillip Limon will be on hand to tell you everything you always wanted to know about piercing and tattooing, but were afraid to ask.
Get down to Precious Slut Tattoo tonite and get "INK'D"!
This is a "No Regifting Zone".
Precious Slut Tattoo Precious Slut 4 1013 E. Charleston Blvd Las Vegas Nevada 89104 (Charleston and Maryland Pkwy)
If it's Sunday, yours truly is obviously already primping Moi's newly "threaded" eyebrows and fab new coiffure for my numero fave-o Sunday boite, "Closet Sundays".
You know "Closet Sundays".
Of course you do.
This Sunday, Eduardo Cordova is not only presenting his usual fab night of fun, hotties and Muzak, The "E" to the "C" is partnering up with my fave menswear designer John Varvatos for a night of mucho mas cool at The Revolution Lounge at Mirage!
That's French for "Fierceness Rules!"
As if Moiself wouldn't have more surprises for you little style junkies.
John Varvatos is not only giving away the labels delish cologne to the 1st 100 mavens of style, they are also going to give away a $1,000 shopping spree!
There's also going to be a hot "Clothing Showcase" AND a special performance by Erika Jayne!
On the dance tables, the spin will be coming from DJ Jason Lema!
So, get your high heel sneakers, wig hat and cute T-Shirt and get thee to the Revolution Lounge at Mirage for one of the last "Closet Sundays" of the two oh nine!
Look fab or stay en yo casa.
I'm jes sayin'.
EDUARDO CORDOVA PRESENTS: "CLOSET SUNDAYS" REVOLUTION LOUNGE @ THE MIRAGE
10PM - UNTIL YOUR MOM SHOWS UP IN BOOTY SHORTS.
Or your Dad.
3400 Las Vegas Blvd S Las Vegas, NV 89109-8923
For VIP / Bottle Service call Jason Baca @ 702 485 9294
Hey Ladies, what are you doing tonight from 6-10pm?
Coming to the Erotic Heritage Museum for the debut of Rendezvous 702's very first "Soul Food Sunday" to view "Hearts Cracked Open" and meet the films director, Betsy Kalin?
Of course you are.
To give you an idea of what tonites' special ladies event is all about, I've reprinted some info from www.heartscrackedopen.com website to fill you in:
Intimacy. Ecstasy. Bliss. Lesbian sex and spiritual connection: Can one really enhance the other? The documentary, Hearts Cracked Open, answers with a resounding yes! For thousands of years heterosexual couples have enjoyed the benefits of the ancient practice called Tantra but until very recently, there has been no information about this spiritual/sexual path specific to lesbian and bisexual women. With California leading the way in the Tantric revolution, Hearts Cracked Open strives to bring Tantric daily practices and sexual techniques from across the State to the women's community worldwide.
Through attention to eye gazing, sacred touch, and the breath, the film depicts Shaman healer and Tantra teacher, Marcia Singer, introducing beginning students to basic Tantra principles in Los Angeles. In Santa Barbara, Pamela Madison teaches lesbian Tantra weekends which address not only the deepening of spiritual connection between partners but also the nitty-gritty of sexual techniques ranging from the Fire Breath Orgasm to G-Spot massage and sex toy use. In Santa Rosa, Evalena Rose's advanced 6-month, women-only Tantra group gives the viewer an inside look at the exercises and ritual practices of a puja (worshipful circle) with its dancing, sensual feasting and techniques to awaken the sexual energy in the body. The love goddess extraordinaire, Annie Sprinkle, delights with her vast knowledge of sacred sexuality as she shares her own personal Tantric path which has been culled from fellow teachers all over the world.
Interviews with Tantra students speak to how their Tantric practices have addressed many women's worst fears - lack of intimacy, performance anxiety and lesbian bed death. In Hearts Cracked Open, one sees that the ultimate benefits of Tantra are physical and psychological healing, the deepening of emotional connection and communication, and sexual growth both energetically and technically. A beginning and an experienced couple each share their intimate Tantric Practice while steaming up the screen to show the sensuality that Tantra can bring to women's lovemaking.
The process of learning Tantra is ultimately a transformative experience. It cracks open the heart to a wider range of emotions and deeply felt sensations as women reclaim the fullness of their beings. Hippies, hipsters, young and old, Buddhists and bar dykes, there is something for everyone in Hearts Cracked Open as it explores both the healing and pleasurable aspects of Tantric sexuality. As Annie Sprinkle says, "a Tantric lesbian is a happy lesbian."
HERE'S THE INFO ON TONIGHT'S "SOUL FOOD SUNDAY" at THE EROTIC HERITAGE MUSEUM
SOUL FOOD SUNDAY 12/20/09 ~~~~~~ 'potluck' FREE IF you bring a DISH ~~~~~~~~ you can RSVP firstname.lastname@example.org or email@example.com
Moiself will raise from the dead, or a mean hangover, to travel wherever my absolute fave impresario, Eduardo Cordova, is presenting his latest clubland brainstorm. Never a dull moment avec The "E" to the "C".
I have also been known to take a trip or two at the mere mention of the name Jeffrey Sanker. Just the name makes me wave my hands in the air.
I wave them like I just don't care.
Combine the two and throw in my fave ever fun corporation, The Light Group and Voila!
Much Glam fun ahead!
What could possibly be missing from this little equation?
You did ask.
Only one element could make a night (tonight) with that cast of characters even better.
LADY GA GA!
Was there any doubt?
Of course not.
Take all of that Glam and put it in The Bank Nightclub et Ultra Lounge and his it with a Disco Stick.
What do you get?
Whatever do I mean?
I shall impart a little knowledge on thou.
All of the above have combined to give you a rollicking night of Lady Ga Ga lookalikes and wannabes all vying for over a $2000 Grand Prize for the best Lady Ga Ga lookalike.
Of course there's more!
Duh, it's an "Eduardo Cordova Presents" event.
FIRST 100 GUESTS WILL RECEIVE A LIMITED EDITION LADY GAGA LITHOGRAPH!!!
Imagine, you can you wear your glitter and metal booty extenders while luxuriating away the night at The Bank
On a Thursday!
I know what you're thinking as per always.
You're thinking, "how ever will I fit into my Ford Focus whilst wearing my Ga Ga finery? My wig alone is two feet tall?"
Surely you know my answer to such a mundane question.
It's not my problem.
Get thee ready for battle and get to The Bank!
It's time for WAR!
GAGA WARS! The Ultimate Battle of Style!
By the by, did I mention it's a special "Gay" night?
As if you needed to be told that.
Doors Open @ 10pm - GET THERE EARLY!
The Bank @ The Bellagio 3600 Las Vegas Boulevard South
For Table Reservations Call - 702.693.8300 jeffreysanker.com | lightgroup.com
No, you haven't had too much of the bubbly stuff Mon Cheri, but, you are in a "Haze". That would be HAZE, the newest ultra luxe boite at the newest ultra luxe property in Las Vegas, ARIA at City Center.
HAZE will be where you can finally make that entrance grande in the latest from the latest designers on New Years Eve. You will grace the adoring ones after having made your way like Naomi Campbell on the grand staircase to the mezzanine level where a two story wall of lights and the very best in sound systems awaits to give your humps a reason to groove in the New Year.
HAZE has a "performance structure" overlooking the dance floor with groovy interactive projections happening just behind the special guest performers.
Who? You ask?
You won't know until you've arrived.
And you will arrive.
So, what does HAZE have going on for New Years Eve , you ask?
You did ask, no?
Of course you did.
Have you heard of the world's greatest DJ, Tiesto?
Of course you have.
Tiesto is bringing his brand of "wave your hands in the air, wave 'em like you just don't care", to HAZE for New Years Eve 2009! Tickets are $300 per person (subject to change) and are available only by visiting www.tiestotickets.com .
Of course if you are partying like Moiself, you are doing the VIP thang. Imagine having your perception of reality changed for the New Year at HAZE.
Table packages range from $5,000 (six VIP table tickets) to $20,000 (15 VIP table tickets) and include premium liquor, Dom Perignon, Red Bull mixers, Evian water and a personal service team taking care of every request. Doors open at 10 p.m. Guests must be 21 years of age or older. For reservations, call (702) 693-8300.
Yup. It seems like only yesterday I was all VIP'd up with my girls from Wingwoman Tours at The Blue Martini at Town Square. I was rocking my Pradas to the beat and eating like a Pasha while my PAMA was being served with the Voddy and Ice!
Btw, I rarely bother my potato juice with a mixer.
I love me some PAMA Pomegranate Liqueur!
Where was I?
So, TONITE Wingwoman Tours is rockin' the hizzouse again to celebrate their one year anniversary!
And they don't look a day over 6 months.
It's a Monday, so, all y'all industry folks can be all partied up and actin' out all night long!
There will be drink specials (duh) and horse de overs.
It's getting started at 8pm and going till I'm bored with you.
That's usually around 4am.
So you know.
See ya at Wingwoman Tours One Year tonite @ Blue Martini!
I'll be the Fab dressed on with a PAMA & Voddy in my paws.
Blue Martini 6593 Las Vegas Blvd S # B-214, Las Vegas, NV 89119 (702) 949-2583
At Walmart fer chrissakes. No one is really that happy at Walmart.
So, there I was cuddled up with my Hot Toddie when I realized I had gotten an ultra exclusive Evitation from the cuties at CRUSH!
So I told Toddie it was time for him to move his car.
He was leaving.
You're still here T.?
That's French for, "No, you can not take a shower here."
Where was I?
It seems that is time for two of my fave things to happen at once!
This week at CLOSET SUNDAYS @ Revolution Lounge is the SO CRUSH ANNUAL STOCKING STUFFER!
Well, who doesn't like their stocking stuffed?
My mucho mas fave-o club God, Eduardo Cordova, presents the ultimate weekly club for those that practice "the love that dare not speak its name", CLOSET SUNDAYS, at my fave boite (that's French for, "hola Papi, I have a VIP table and a bottle of Vodka. Thirsty?) the Revolution Lounge at Mirage. This week he has invited CHELLEY, BEBE ZAHARA BENET, AND THE VIXENS to sing for their supper, uh, perform and DJ Jason Lema to make your booty shake.
In addition to being a partner in the hippest downtown spot that hasn't even opened yet (how freakin' hip is that?), Mundo Restaurant at The World Market Center, Mingo is the marketing brains behind "Alien" Tequila. By the by, Mundo is opening 20 December 2009. Now you know.
Well, Mingo is currently rockin' vinyl on his new compact record player and getting his "Internets" on with CLEAR.
CLEAR is "superfast mobile internet that works fast and uses 4G WiMAX technology.
I have no idea what that means.
They have pretty colors on the package.
I do know that you can use your CLEAR set up wherever you are to download music and TV, surf the net and send your emails from Tiger Woods to TMZ.
You can even combine your home and mobile service for prices WAY lower than you can get from the big companies with ugly colors on their packaging.
Less money, more style.
Wanna know more about CLEAR?
Of course you do Mon Cheri.
To get more info on CLEAR, just ring up Mon Ami Gary Vrooman @ 310 738 1661
It seems several local celebrity fighters are going to be pummeling the bejeezus out of each other at "The Joint" Wednesday 09 December at 6:30pm.
Various Las Vegas nightlife and casino personalities will be lacing up their gloves for a good cause as they battle it out in support of Smile Train, the world’s leading cleft charity and Barry’s Boxing, a nonprofit organization in affiliation and coordination with USA Boxing. The evening will be comprised of a series of three-round bouts.
Here's the list of the semi-famous who will be practicing Pugilism.
Heh. Heh. I said Pugilism.
You like that don't you?
Yeah, who's your Pugilist?
I digress, here's the list:
Greg Costello (Hard Rock) vs. Ulises Alcocer (Monsoon Group) Chad Weiner (Hard Rock) vs. David Christian (The Bank) Caitlin Mercer (Hot Rod Grille) vs. Jade Robertson (Rehab) Rolando Valenzuela (Hard Rock) vs. Casey Ball (Blush) Mark Alums (Spearmint Rhino) vs. Steve Simkins (Vegas Bail) Steve Cyr (Hard Rock) vs. Greg Tanjuatco (Planet Hollywood) Sal Wise vs. Isaiah Publico (Body English) Leo Mancuso (Wasted Space) vs. Charlie Wettlaufer (VIPFantasyVegas.com) Braly Joy (Granite World) vs. Paul Roberts (Elite Boxing Gym) Ronnie Akrawi (Hard Rock) vs. Hal Zangana (Hustler Club) Ian Kohoutek (Wet Republic) vs. Mike Campbell (Station Casinos)
I don't know who they are ,but, I'm sure they're very, very.
And I'm thinking that the shirts will be off, so who cares?
And I believe that somewhere, somehow, Sugar Ray Leonard is involved.
I really like that one song about flying away he used to do with that group that ...what? Oh. Not Sugar Ray. Oh. Who? Boxer? Hmm. OH! Yes.
If you don't already know it, let Moi fill you in on The Joint. It's a Mega-Fantasmo multi-purpose venue that you simply must experience.
So, go watch the sweat hit the mats at "Fight Club 3" inside The Joint!
It's more fun than drunken Chola beer wrestling.
Ok, nothing is more fun than that, but, this is close!
Tickets are $20 in advance, $25 at the door and can be purchased at the Hard Rock Hotel Box Office, online at hardrockhotel.com, ticketmaster.com or charge-by-phone at 800-745-3000.
The Joint Hard Rock Hotel & Casino 4455 Paradise Rd. Las Vegas, NV 89169
Yup, "The Mouth That Hollaa'd!" , All TAlk Radio's own Schree is at Good Times tonight with her, uh, "special" brand of humour to tickle the back of your throat.
Tonight's laughathon is a benefit for the #1 LGBT social and sports group in town, LVGA3. Group President, Chris Miller and the LVGA3 gang are hosting the night 'O fun to raise funds for the groups' various LGBT arts, athletics and activities.
The cover is $5 and all proceeds are going to the funnest group for the funnest guys in town.
Get down to see Schree at Good Times at 8pm tonight, December 06, 2009!
Surely by now you know that when Moiself wants a night of "The VIP" my first choice is always, "Closet Sundays" at Revolution Lounge.
You didn't know that.
Then you must not know me.
Well, just know that the hippest spot on Le Strip is "Closet Sundays", an "Eduardo Cordova Presents" event, every Sunday night at The Revolution Lounge. In case you didn't know, Eduardo Cordova is The Premiere promoter for those of you who practice the love that dare not speak it's name.
No. Not that. Euw.
The Gays you perv, the Gays.
And those who party with them.
Tonight is The Impresario of all Impresarios, Jeffrey Sanker's birthday party at "Closet Sundays"!
Geez, he must be 21 by now.
How time flies when you're waving your hands in the air.
Waving them like you just don't care.
Tonight, not only will you be celebrating Mr. Sanker's birth (and don't we all?), you will also be privy to a private performance by "Candis Cayne" and you can have a little aural with guest DJ Marco!
CLOSET SUNDAYS AT THE REVOLUTION LOUNGE MIRAGE 3400 S. Las Vegas Blvd., Las Vegas, NV 89109
For reservations and VIP Bottle service: Jason Baca 702 485 9294
Only in Las Vegas does a party START rockin' at 3am!
Take that New York!
Tonight (tomorrow?) is a going to be the scene of an ALIEN landing, ALIEN TEQUILA, that is. It's time for an industry holiday party for Wynn / Encore folks and the people who party with them at The Loose Caboose.
No, not my ex.
Loose Caboose is a happening little spot near The Palms where the late night is the early morning.
Grab your sunglasses, cause your future's so near you're gonna need shades once you've been abducted by the ALIEN TEQUILA girls!
Did mention the $3 "Silver Shots"?
Now I have.
Or, order up a "Crop Circle" and repeat after me, "IT'S VEGAS BABY, WE DON'T NEED YOUR STINKING CLOCKS!"
GET ABDUCTED WITH ALIEN TEQUILA THE LOOSE CABOOSE 4405 W Flamingo Rd Las Vegas, NV 89103 (702) 871-1424
Even though her little bundle of lovin' is about to pop right out of that oven, Studio 8 Tens own Angela Esher-Whelan will be interviewed this weekend on CBS radio!
If you aren't aware of Studio 8 Ten, well, let Moi tell Vous.
Studio 8 Ten is THE place to get your hand made stationery! I'm a huge fan of their gift cards that are hand made (including the paper) and are embedded with seeds to send more than just best wishes to your beloved. The recipient just needs to bury the note in soil and a little later, Voila! A little garden of you!
My other "can't live without", is Studio 8 Ten's body butter. Oh yeah, they make a huge variety of products there and sell them for practically nothing. And it's the best place to have an affordable kiddie arts party.
The artists and craftsmen at Studio 8 Ten are all developmentally disabled and the friendliest bunch of artists you'll ever meet.
I really want you to check out Studio 8 Ten. The moment you step into the place you feel the love and the arts and crafts are second to none.
Now, make sure you listen to Angela this weekend giving her last interview as a free woman on CBS radio and then do your Christmas shopping at Studio 8 Ten.
Sunday Dec. 6th, 2009
KMXB 6:00 AM KXTE 6:30 AM KKJJ 7:00 AM KLUC 7:30 AM KYDZ (1140 AM) 8:00 AM
Okay, as of now, stop calling City Center a "game changer".
The only thing that's going to change this game is the economy. Just like no one President can be expected to fix the sad mess our economy is in overnight, no one complex of buildings can be expected to "save the Universe".
What you can call City Center is stunning.
No doubts at all about that superlative.
Being a fan of architecture, I am thrilled that we here in Vegas finally have a set of world class buildings that don't look like a fake somewhere else. They are modern in a way that we won't be sick of in ten years. They are sleek, yet, not at all impersonal. Each building has it's own personality and "vibe".
Today Moi checked out the first tower to open, Vdara. I will be honest, I love the place, but, I didn't feel anything "Vegas" about it.
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
VDara is a world class luxury hotel and spa that fulfills exactly what you expect it to.
If you don't expect it to change the world.
The exterior is a sleek and terribly chic curved tower designed by famed architect, Rafael Viñoly. It overlooks a double decker traffic circle and an amazing sculpture,"Big Edge", by Nancy Rubins. This gravity defying work is composed of dozens of small sea craft held together by steel wires, imagination and I have no idea what else. It is visually arresting and did exactly what art is supposed to do, it got people talking.
The uber friendly staff (the most diverse I've ever seen in a property in Las Vegas, which others would do well to take note of.) led us into a very modern (but, not at all cold), soaring space full of art and shapes both sharp and fluid.
By the way, if you are ever offered a Beignet at Vdara, grab three!
One of the first spots you notice is "Silk Road". This new restaurant looks to be the place where we finally have an L.A. or Miami type of hip place for breakfast. I am a huge fan of "Simon's" at Palms Place and I think that "Silk Road" will be giving it a run for the money amongst the Tres Hip morning set.
At night the organic looking space will turn into a cool little Boite.
That's French for, "I finally have a place to wear Alexander McQueen".
I peaked into the Spa and will tell you more about in a fuller post later this evening, but, I can already tell it's where I want my "mani's" from now on. They even have vegan nail polish for you fingernail chewers on a diet.
One of the ways that I judge a property is by what you don't really need to be "top shelf". That is to say, serviceable things such as the elevator. Most Las Vegas elevators have garish posters advertising whatever they're pushing in the showroom. Vdara has elevators that are gorgeous to elevate in while taking pictures of oneself.
Well, I must run off and try to get invited to The Fab Vanity Fair Party later this evening (surely my invite was lost in Le Poste. Surely).
I will be back with a slide show and more on Vdara.
Now who's behind do I have to kiss around here to get into that party?