Yes, it's time to get out the Visa Cards and head down to the mall to spend money on worthless crap.
All in the name of a lovely chap named, Jesus.
Something tells me that Mr. non designer sandals and belted sackcloth would probably not approve of our consumerist ways at this time of year.
I like Prada and if anyone's smart, there'll be some under my Christmas tree.
Ok, I don't have a Christmas tree.
Just leave it under the mat.
No. You may not have any of my Eggnog.
Where was I?
This time of the year sucks for another reason.
It's Oscar Bait time!
Ou et les "Oscar Bait"?
That's French for, "2 hours from now you will have spent $40 and your butt will be asleep."
As will I.
Next to your butt.
So, here is my annual list of movies I have no intention of seeing this Holiday Season.
Yes, it's a tradition.
The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus
Heath Ledger, Johnny Depp, Jude Law and every other actor in Hollywood who looks like they need a bath.
WHY I'M NOT SEEING IT:
What is this, the cast of "White Punks on Dope"?
I have to be honest, I don't care about Heath Ledger. I just don't. He's dead. Great career move. Best ever. Even that has been done before. Better. See: Elvis, Marilyn, Robin Leach.
Johhny Depp still owes me several hours of my life for those Gawdawful Pirate movies. I'm not just handing over another 6 hours (it is a Gilliam flick) so he can drag me threw Terry Gilliam's oh so retro drug flashbacks.
Yo Gilliam! Nobody parties in Marrakech anymore.
I saw Colin Farrell's nudie.
Fare thee well.
Just don't expect me to love it.
I could give a rats smegma who's in this crap.
WHY I'M NOT SEEING IT:
I grew up in West Covina, California. If I wanted to spend two hours with mutants, I would've gone to my high school reunion.
AND I could've had some vodka so I wouldn't have to look at 'em.
A bunch of people that make me glad "Smellovision" never caught on.
WHY I'M NOT SEEING IT:
It's Romanian fer chrissakes!
The last thing that those people did well was track down and kill that Chowchescue woman.
Pass the blinis, and the ticket stand.
Chipmunks Act Like Chipmunks, Not Chipmonks
Those Gay ass Chipmunks, Alvina, Theodora and Kelly Rowland.
WHY I'M NOT SEEING IT:
These guys remind me of when I used to know Tweakers.
Evidently there are some VERY friendly people living right in my own arrondissement.
Tonight, you can meet some of those "Precious Sluts" AND get inked! Vitamin Water and my Gurls over at Wingwoman Tours are revving up "Slice" A Social Club Event where you can get "INK'D" at Precious Slut Tattoo downtown.
In Las Vegas.
Always wondering if the gift you spent hours looking for will somehow end up being "regifted" by your no good for nothing ex?
Give the gift that keeps on giving this year.
No silly, not herpes.
This holiday season get your loved ones INK'd! 10% off all tattoos or $20 off tattoos $100..00 or more and 10% off all body piercing.
Let them try and regift that.
Not gonna happen
Did you have any doubt?
Tattoo Collector Phillip Limon will be on hand to tell you everything you always wanted to know about piercing and tattooing, but were afraid to ask.
Get down to Precious Slut Tattoo tonite and get "INK'D"!
This is a "No Regifting Zone".
Precious Slut Tattoo Precious Slut 4 1013 E. Charleston Blvd Las Vegas Nevada 89104 (Charleston and Maryland Pkwy)
If it's Sunday, yours truly is obviously already primping Moi's newly "threaded" eyebrows and fab new coiffure for my numero fave-o Sunday boite, "Closet Sundays".
You know "Closet Sundays".
Of course you do.
This Sunday, Eduardo Cordova is not only presenting his usual fab night of fun, hotties and Muzak, The "E" to the "C" is partnering up with my fave menswear designer John Varvatos for a night of mucho mas cool at The Revolution Lounge at Mirage!
That's French for "Fierceness Rules!"
As if Moiself wouldn't have more surprises for you little style junkies.
John Varvatos is not only giving away the labels delish cologne to the 1st 100 mavens of style, they are also going to give away a $1,000 shopping spree!
There's also going to be a hot "Clothing Showcase" AND a special performance by Erika Jayne!
On the dance tables, the spin will be coming from DJ Jason Lema!
So, get your high heel sneakers, wig hat and cute T-Shirt and get thee to the Revolution Lounge at Mirage for one of the last "Closet Sundays" of the two oh nine!
Look fab or stay en yo casa.
I'm jes sayin'.
EDUARDO CORDOVA PRESENTS: "CLOSET SUNDAYS" REVOLUTION LOUNGE @ THE MIRAGE
10PM - UNTIL YOUR MOM SHOWS UP IN BOOTY SHORTS.
Or your Dad.
3400 Las Vegas Blvd S Las Vegas, NV 89109-8923
For VIP / Bottle Service call Jason Baca @ 702 485 9294
Hey Ladies, what are you doing tonight from 6-10pm?
Coming to the Erotic Heritage Museum for the debut of Rendezvous 702's very first "Soul Food Sunday" to view "Hearts Cracked Open" and meet the films director, Betsy Kalin?
Of course you are.
To give you an idea of what tonites' special ladies event is all about, I've reprinted some info from www.heartscrackedopen.com website to fill you in:
Intimacy. Ecstasy. Bliss. Lesbian sex and spiritual connection: Can one really enhance the other? The documentary, Hearts Cracked Open, answers with a resounding yes! For thousands of years heterosexual couples have enjoyed the benefits of the ancient practice called Tantra but until very recently, there has been no information about this spiritual/sexual path specific to lesbian and bisexual women. With California leading the way in the Tantric revolution, Hearts Cracked Open strives to bring Tantric daily practices and sexual techniques from across the State to the women's community worldwide.
Through attention to eye gazing, sacred touch, and the breath, the film depicts Shaman healer and Tantra teacher, Marcia Singer, introducing beginning students to basic Tantra principles in Los Angeles. In Santa Barbara, Pamela Madison teaches lesbian Tantra weekends which address not only the deepening of spiritual connection between partners but also the nitty-gritty of sexual techniques ranging from the Fire Breath Orgasm to G-Spot massage and sex toy use. In Santa Rosa, Evalena Rose's advanced 6-month, women-only Tantra group gives the viewer an inside look at the exercises and ritual practices of a puja (worshipful circle) with its dancing, sensual feasting and techniques to awaken the sexual energy in the body. The love goddess extraordinaire, Annie Sprinkle, delights with her vast knowledge of sacred sexuality as she shares her own personal Tantric path which has been culled from fellow teachers all over the world.
Interviews with Tantra students speak to how their Tantric practices have addressed many women's worst fears - lack of intimacy, performance anxiety and lesbian bed death. In Hearts Cracked Open, one sees that the ultimate benefits of Tantra are physical and psychological healing, the deepening of emotional connection and communication, and sexual growth both energetically and technically. A beginning and an experienced couple each share their intimate Tantric Practice while steaming up the screen to show the sensuality that Tantra can bring to women's lovemaking.
The process of learning Tantra is ultimately a transformative experience. It cracks open the heart to a wider range of emotions and deeply felt sensations as women reclaim the fullness of their beings. Hippies, hipsters, young and old, Buddhists and bar dykes, there is something for everyone in Hearts Cracked Open as it explores both the healing and pleasurable aspects of Tantric sexuality. As Annie Sprinkle says, "a Tantric lesbian is a happy lesbian."
HERE'S THE INFO ON TONIGHT'S "SOUL FOOD SUNDAY" at THE EROTIC HERITAGE MUSEUM
SOUL FOOD SUNDAY 12/20/09 ~~~~~~ 'potluck' FREE IF you bring a DISH ~~~~~~~~ you can RSVP firstname.lastname@example.org or email@example.com
Moiself will raise from the dead, or a mean hangover, to travel wherever my absolute fave impresario, Eduardo Cordova, is presenting his latest clubland brainstorm. Never a dull moment avec The "E" to the "C".
I have also been known to take a trip or two at the mere mention of the name Jeffrey Sanker. Just the name makes me wave my hands in the air.
I wave them like I just don't care.
Combine the two and throw in my fave ever fun corporation, The Light Group and Voila!
Much Glam fun ahead!
What could possibly be missing from this little equation?
You did ask.
Only one element could make a night (tonight) with that cast of characters even better.
LADY GA GA!
Was there any doubt?
Of course not.
Take all of that Glam and put it in The Bank Nightclub et Ultra Lounge and his it with a Disco Stick.
What do you get?
Whatever do I mean?
I shall impart a little knowledge on thou.
All of the above have combined to give you a rollicking night of Lady Ga Ga lookalikes and wannabes all vying for over a $2000 Grand Prize for the best Lady Ga Ga lookalike.
Of course there's more!
Duh, it's an "Eduardo Cordova Presents" event.
FIRST 100 GUESTS WILL RECEIVE A LIMITED EDITION LADY GAGA LITHOGRAPH!!!
Imagine, you can you wear your glitter and metal booty extenders while luxuriating away the night at The Bank
On a Thursday!
I know what you're thinking as per always.
You're thinking, "how ever will I fit into my Ford Focus whilst wearing my Ga Ga finery? My wig alone is two feet tall?"
Surely you know my answer to such a mundane question.
It's not my problem.
Get thee ready for battle and get to The Bank!
It's time for WAR!
GAGA WARS! The Ultimate Battle of Style!
By the by, did I mention it's a special "Gay" night?
As if you needed to be told that.
Doors Open @ 10pm - GET THERE EARLY!
The Bank @ The Bellagio 3600 Las Vegas Boulevard South
For Table Reservations Call - 702.693.8300 jeffreysanker.com | lightgroup.com
No, you haven't had too much of the bubbly stuff Mon Cheri, but, you are in a "Haze". That would be HAZE, the newest ultra luxe boite at the newest ultra luxe property in Las Vegas, ARIA at City Center.
HAZE will be where you can finally make that entrance grande in the latest from the latest designers on New Years Eve. You will grace the adoring ones after having made your way like Naomi Campbell on the grand staircase to the mezzanine level where a two story wall of lights and the very best in sound systems awaits to give your humps a reason to groove in the New Year.
HAZE has a "performance structure" overlooking the dance floor with groovy interactive projections happening just behind the special guest performers.
Who? You ask?
You won't know until you've arrived.
And you will arrive.
So, what does HAZE have going on for New Years Eve , you ask?
You did ask, no?
Of course you did.
Have you heard of the world's greatest DJ, Tiesto?
Of course you have.
Tiesto is bringing his brand of "wave your hands in the air, wave 'em like you just don't care", to HAZE for New Years Eve 2009! Tickets are $300 per person (subject to change) and are available only by visiting www.tiestotickets.com .
Of course if you are partying like Moiself, you are doing the VIP thang. Imagine having your perception of reality changed for the New Year at HAZE.
Table packages range from $5,000 (six VIP table tickets) to $20,000 (15 VIP table tickets) and include premium liquor, Dom Perignon, Red Bull mixers, Evian water and a personal service team taking care of every request. Doors open at 10 p.m. Guests must be 21 years of age or older. For reservations, call (702) 693-8300.
Yup. It seems like only yesterday I was all VIP'd up with my girls from Wingwoman Tours at The Blue Martini at Town Square. I was rocking my Pradas to the beat and eating like a Pasha while my PAMA was being served with the Voddy and Ice!
Btw, I rarely bother my potato juice with a mixer.
I love me some PAMA Pomegranate Liqueur!
Where was I?
So, TONITE Wingwoman Tours is rockin' the hizzouse again to celebrate their one year anniversary!
And they don't look a day over 6 months.
It's a Monday, so, all y'all industry folks can be all partied up and actin' out all night long!
There will be drink specials (duh) and horse de overs.
It's getting started at 8pm and going till I'm bored with you.
That's usually around 4am.
So you know.
See ya at Wingwoman Tours One Year tonite @ Blue Martini!
I'll be the Fab dressed on with a PAMA & Voddy in my paws.
Blue Martini 6593 Las Vegas Blvd S # B-214, Las Vegas, NV 89119 (702) 949-2583
At Walmart fer chrissakes. No one is really that happy at Walmart.
So, there I was cuddled up with my Hot Toddie when I realized I had gotten an ultra exclusive Evitation from the cuties at CRUSH!
So I told Toddie it was time for him to move his car.
He was leaving.
You're still here T.?
That's French for, "No, you can not take a shower here."
Where was I?
It seems that is time for two of my fave things to happen at once!
This week at CLOSET SUNDAYS @ Revolution Lounge is the SO CRUSH ANNUAL STOCKING STUFFER!
Well, who doesn't like their stocking stuffed?
My mucho mas fave-o club God, Eduardo Cordova, presents the ultimate weekly club for those that practice "the love that dare not speak its name", CLOSET SUNDAYS, at my fave boite (that's French for, "hola Papi, I have a VIP table and a bottle of Vodka. Thirsty?) the Revolution Lounge at Mirage. This week he has invited CHELLEY, BEBE ZAHARA BENET, AND THE VIXENS to sing for their supper, uh, perform and DJ Jason Lema to make your booty shake.
In addition to being a partner in the hippest downtown spot that hasn't even opened yet (how freakin' hip is that?), Mundo Restaurant at The World Market Center, Mingo is the marketing brains behind "Alien" Tequila. By the by, Mundo is opening 20 December 2009. Now you know.
Well, Mingo is currently rockin' vinyl on his new compact record player and getting his "Internets" on with CLEAR.
CLEAR is "superfast mobile internet that works fast and uses 4G WiMAX technology.
I have no idea what that means.
They have pretty colors on the package.
I do know that you can use your CLEAR set up wherever you are to download music and TV, surf the net and send your emails from Tiger Woods to TMZ.
You can even combine your home and mobile service for prices WAY lower than you can get from the big companies with ugly colors on their packaging.
Less money, more style.
Wanna know more about CLEAR?
Of course you do Mon Cheri.
To get more info on CLEAR, just ring up Mon Ami Gary Vrooman @ 310 738 1661
It seems several local celebrity fighters are going to be pummeling the bejeezus out of each other at "The Joint" Wednesday 09 December at 6:30pm.
Various Las Vegas nightlife and casino personalities will be lacing up their gloves for a good cause as they battle it out in support of Smile Train, the world’s leading cleft charity and Barry’s Boxing, a nonprofit organization in affiliation and coordination with USA Boxing. The evening will be comprised of a series of three-round bouts.
Here's the list of the semi-famous who will be practicing Pugilism.
Heh. Heh. I said Pugilism.
You like that don't you?
Yeah, who's your Pugilist?
I digress, here's the list:
Greg Costello (Hard Rock) vs. Ulises Alcocer (Monsoon Group) Chad Weiner (Hard Rock) vs. David Christian (The Bank) Caitlin Mercer (Hot Rod Grille) vs. Jade Robertson (Rehab) Rolando Valenzuela (Hard Rock) vs. Casey Ball (Blush) Mark Alums (Spearmint Rhino) vs. Steve Simkins (Vegas Bail) Steve Cyr (Hard Rock) vs. Greg Tanjuatco (Planet Hollywood) Sal Wise vs. Isaiah Publico (Body English) Leo Mancuso (Wasted Space) vs. Charlie Wettlaufer (VIPFantasyVegas.com) Braly Joy (Granite World) vs. Paul Roberts (Elite Boxing Gym) Ronnie Akrawi (Hard Rock) vs. Hal Zangana (Hustler Club) Ian Kohoutek (Wet Republic) vs. Mike Campbell (Station Casinos)
I don't know who they are ,but, I'm sure they're very, very.
And I'm thinking that the shirts will be off, so who cares?
And I believe that somewhere, somehow, Sugar Ray Leonard is involved.
I really like that one song about flying away he used to do with that group that ...what? Oh. Not Sugar Ray. Oh. Who? Boxer? Hmm. OH! Yes.
If you don't already know it, let Moi fill you in on The Joint. It's a Mega-Fantasmo multi-purpose venue that you simply must experience.
So, go watch the sweat hit the mats at "Fight Club 3" inside The Joint!
It's more fun than drunken Chola beer wrestling.
Ok, nothing is more fun than that, but, this is close!
Tickets are $20 in advance, $25 at the door and can be purchased at the Hard Rock Hotel Box Office, online at hardrockhotel.com, ticketmaster.com or charge-by-phone at 800-745-3000.
The Joint Hard Rock Hotel & Casino 4455 Paradise Rd. Las Vegas, NV 89169
Yup, "The Mouth That Hollaa'd!" , All TAlk Radio's own Schree is at Good Times tonight with her, uh, "special" brand of humour to tickle the back of your throat.
Tonight's laughathon is a benefit for the #1 LGBT social and sports group in town, LVGA3. Group President, Chris Miller and the LVGA3 gang are hosting the night 'O fun to raise funds for the groups' various LGBT arts, athletics and activities.
The cover is $5 and all proceeds are going to the funnest group for the funnest guys in town.
Get down to see Schree at Good Times at 8pm tonight, December 06, 2009!
Surely by now you know that when Moiself wants a night of "The VIP" my first choice is always, "Closet Sundays" at Revolution Lounge.
You didn't know that.
Then you must not know me.
Well, just know that the hippest spot on Le Strip is "Closet Sundays", an "Eduardo Cordova Presents" event, every Sunday night at The Revolution Lounge. In case you didn't know, Eduardo Cordova is The Premiere promoter for those of you who practice the love that dare not speak it's name.
No. Not that. Euw.
The Gays you perv, the Gays.
And those who party with them.
Tonight is The Impresario of all Impresarios, Jeffrey Sanker's birthday party at "Closet Sundays"!
Geez, he must be 21 by now.
How time flies when you're waving your hands in the air.
Waving them like you just don't care.
Tonight, not only will you be celebrating Mr. Sanker's birth (and don't we all?), you will also be privy to a private performance by "Candis Cayne" and you can have a little aural with guest DJ Marco!
CLOSET SUNDAYS AT THE REVOLUTION LOUNGE MIRAGE 3400 S. Las Vegas Blvd., Las Vegas, NV 89109
For reservations and VIP Bottle service: Jason Baca 702 485 9294
Only in Las Vegas does a party START rockin' at 3am!
Take that New York!
Tonight (tomorrow?) is a going to be the scene of an ALIEN landing, ALIEN TEQUILA, that is. It's time for an industry holiday party for Wynn / Encore folks and the people who party with them at The Loose Caboose.
No, not my ex.
Loose Caboose is a happening little spot near The Palms where the late night is the early morning.
Grab your sunglasses, cause your future's so near you're gonna need shades once you've been abducted by the ALIEN TEQUILA girls!
Did mention the $3 "Silver Shots"?
Now I have.
Or, order up a "Crop Circle" and repeat after me, "IT'S VEGAS BABY, WE DON'T NEED YOUR STINKING CLOCKS!"
GET ABDUCTED WITH ALIEN TEQUILA THE LOOSE CABOOSE 4405 W Flamingo Rd Las Vegas, NV 89103 (702) 871-1424
Even though her little bundle of lovin' is about to pop right out of that oven, Studio 8 Tens own Angela Esher-Whelan will be interviewed this weekend on CBS radio!
If you aren't aware of Studio 8 Ten, well, let Moi tell Vous.
Studio 8 Ten is THE place to get your hand made stationery! I'm a huge fan of their gift cards that are hand made (including the paper) and are embedded with seeds to send more than just best wishes to your beloved. The recipient just needs to bury the note in soil and a little later, Voila! A little garden of you!
My other "can't live without", is Studio 8 Ten's body butter. Oh yeah, they make a huge variety of products there and sell them for practically nothing. And it's the best place to have an affordable kiddie arts party.
The artists and craftsmen at Studio 8 Ten are all developmentally disabled and the friendliest bunch of artists you'll ever meet.
I really want you to check out Studio 8 Ten. The moment you step into the place you feel the love and the arts and crafts are second to none.
Now, make sure you listen to Angela this weekend giving her last interview as a free woman on CBS radio and then do your Christmas shopping at Studio 8 Ten.
Sunday Dec. 6th, 2009
KMXB 6:00 AM KXTE 6:30 AM KKJJ 7:00 AM KLUC 7:30 AM KYDZ (1140 AM) 8:00 AM
Okay, as of now, stop calling City Center a "game changer".
The only thing that's going to change this game is the economy. Just like no one President can be expected to fix the sad mess our economy is in overnight, no one complex of buildings can be expected to "save the Universe".
What you can call City Center is stunning.
No doubts at all about that superlative.
Being a fan of architecture, I am thrilled that we here in Vegas finally have a set of world class buildings that don't look like a fake somewhere else. They are modern in a way that we won't be sick of in ten years. They are sleek, yet, not at all impersonal. Each building has it's own personality and "vibe".
Today Moi checked out the first tower to open, Vdara. I will be honest, I love the place, but, I didn't feel anything "Vegas" about it.
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
VDara is a world class luxury hotel and spa that fulfills exactly what you expect it to.
If you don't expect it to change the world.
The exterior is a sleek and terribly chic curved tower designed by famed architect, Rafael Viñoly. It overlooks a double decker traffic circle and an amazing sculpture,"Big Edge", by Nancy Rubins. This gravity defying work is composed of dozens of small sea craft held together by steel wires, imagination and I have no idea what else. It is visually arresting and did exactly what art is supposed to do, it got people talking.
The uber friendly staff (the most diverse I've ever seen in a property in Las Vegas, which others would do well to take note of.) led us into a very modern (but, not at all cold), soaring space full of art and shapes both sharp and fluid.
By the way, if you are ever offered a Beignet at Vdara, grab three!
One of the first spots you notice is "Silk Road". This new restaurant looks to be the place where we finally have an L.A. or Miami type of hip place for breakfast. I am a huge fan of "Simon's" at Palms Place and I think that "Silk Road" will be giving it a run for the money amongst the Tres Hip morning set.
At night the organic looking space will turn into a cool little Boite.
That's French for, "I finally have a place to wear Alexander McQueen".
I peaked into the Spa and will tell you more about in a fuller post later this evening, but, I can already tell it's where I want my "mani's" from now on. They even have vegan nail polish for you fingernail chewers on a diet.
One of the ways that I judge a property is by what you don't really need to be "top shelf". That is to say, serviceable things such as the elevator. Most Las Vegas elevators have garish posters advertising whatever they're pushing in the showroom. Vdara has elevators that are gorgeous to elevate in while taking pictures of oneself.
Well, I must run off and try to get invited to The Fab Vanity Fair Party later this evening (surely my invite was lost in Le Poste. Surely).
I will be back with a slide show and more on Vdara.
Now who's behind do I have to kiss around here to get into that party?
I know it's hard to believe ,but, there was a time, not so long ago, that whenever a "Colored" person would appear on TV my whole apartment building on West 59th St in Chicago would go crazy.
"Wanda! Tell your momma there's a Colored girl in a commercial on Channel 9!", my Grandmother Lois would yell out the back door at us kids. Wanda would go up the stairs half running, half screaming ahead, "MOMMA! Turn on Channel 9, there's a Colored girl in a commercial!"
Now, ever so often, Ed Sullivan would have a Colored performer on. Those were the nights I got to stay up late. I would sit there nodding off in my PJs as my Mom and Dad sat talking through whatever white person was telling lame jokes or whatever.
"Ladies and Gentlemen,I would like to welcome to the stage.....". Ed would then turn and I would rush towards the TV and be in heaven for the next 3 minutes or so.
Here are some of the Colored people my Mom & Dad let me stay up late to see.
I loved women with long legs in short skirts! No one had longer legs or shorter skirts than Tina Turner and The Ikettes!
My Moms' dresses were custom made and she had pumps dyed to match.
As a young FHA (Future Homo of America), only one set of women could come close to my Mom when it came to style, The Supremes. Even today, my Mom has an entire room devoted to shoes, wigs and purses, her "Diana Ross Room".
Ladies and Gentlemen, The Supremes!
"I think he's a sissy." My Dad was hella cool. He always accepted the fact that I was probably not meant to be a linebacker , or whatever the hell they do in Hockey. He just loved me as I was. I never heard a word from him about "sissies" except whenever it was time for Little Richard", and even then it wasn't in a bad way. Actually it was more like, "that's one badass sissy!"
I had no idea what a sissy really was, but, I knew if Little Richard was one, I could never live up to the entry fee.
I still can't.
And I'm a major sissy.
My Mom till this day will tell you that "The Tempts" are her favorite group from back in the day. I aint gonna argue that.
I was an Eddie Kendricks fan, Mom liked Dennis or David. Whatever, between the Italian suits and the slick , pointy shoes and the Pomped hair, I was in heaven when The Temptations granted me a reprieve from an early night in my room before school.
Here with their "Psychedelic Soul" hit "Cloud Nine. The Temptations!
I loved (and still do) me some Stevie Wonder!
Something about his songs hit me, even as a little kid, as deep, yet ultimate pop. They all told stories whether I understood them or not, I knew they were important.
Here is one of his jams that would have me humming to my Dalmation stuufed doggie as I fell asleep.
I might be dozing off breaking the Fred Flintstone toothpicks holding my eyes open, and then, that falsetto!
It had to be Smokey!
And The Miracles!
My fave Smokey jam?
I love calliope music. I love Circuses. I love harmony.
I love "Tears Of A Clown"!
Ok, you have to know there was one group that every little Colored boy born in the 60's wanted to be in, The Jackson 5! The J5 was the top 4 songs every week in the Jet Magazine top 10. I used to tear the latest copy open every Monday and go staright to the back to see which Jackson Five song was number one!
Needless to say, when Michael died, I had my "where were you when.." moment.
No one believes me, but, I was there the night the Democratic Convention went all ape shit in '68.
Ok, let me explain.
My Mom worked at The Conrad Hilton Hotel. Every night, my Dad and I would go pick her up. Me in my PJs. we'd ride along Lake Michigan with the windows down listening to the radio.
I had a major thing for Yippies.
Not Hippies. They were lame.
Samantha Steven's cousin, Serena, was a Yippie.
Or I had decided.
And I wanted to hang out with her.
So I was a Yippie.
Even as a little kid, I was a jaded little Bitch. Hippies were boring.
Greg Brady was a hippie.
I used to whine annoyingly (some things never change) until my Dad would promise to take me to every concert of my favorite Yippie band, "Sly and The Family Stone".
Here's the dealio. My poor Dad schlepped me to , I don't know how many, Sly concerts and that Negro (Yippies weren't Colored, they were Negroes) never once showed up! I must have seen more riots by the time I was seven than a white cop in Watts.
But, Perry Washington kept trying.
And I never saw Sly.
Anyways, thinking about the night of the Democratic riots and Yippies always reminds me of my "Sly and The Family Stone" Yippie riotsand the way my Dad would say right before sweeping me up at whatever park they were supposed to play, "God Damn, I knew this shit was gonna happen!"
My Mom used to send me to every apartment on 59th Street with a 45 record with a yellow and brown label and I would sing along with it for anyone who listen.
I was adorable.
I had a thing for light skin girls with "good" hair.
Marilyn McCoo was my "girlfriend".
I saw every concert her group "The 5th Dimension" ever did in Chicago from the late 60's until the mid 70;s when she and Billy left the group. Just recently, I saw Florence Larue still kicking out the jams at The Fremont Street Experience right here in Vegas by my house. She was still pretty.
THE VEGAS STYLE GUY: How's life treating Colton Ford these days?
COLTON FORD: Great!
TVSG: Let's jump right in, you recently covered the REM classic, "Losing My Religion". Why such an iconic rock song?
CF: Why not? It’s an amazing song, and it was fun to go in and re-imagine it with my own musical stylings.
TVSG: It seems that rock would be quite a departure for you considering that your fans think of you as a "Dance" artist. Are you a big secret rock fan?
CF: Not really. I’m more of an R&B/Soul/Funk kind of guy. I do like all kinds of music, but I just tend to gravitate to R&B.
TVSG: Who are some of your favorite rock bands?
CF: Well I love Boston, Fleetwood Mac and Journey to name just a few.
TVSG: I personally think you have one of the best "Blue Eyed Soul" sounds out, does it frustrate you that the mainstream hasn't picked up on you yet?
CF: Well firstly, thank you. I guess I’m just focused on making music that I dig, and continue to do what I can to get it out and reach as many people as possible. It’s a process. I’ve been doing this for a long time, so I just continue to do what I’ve always done.
TVSG: Who are some of your musical idols?
CF: I love Marvin Gaye, Chaka Khan, Babyface, Sarah Vaughn, and Michael McDonald to name a few. I could go on!
TVSG: Who have you worked with that brought something to the studio that you weren't expecting?
CF: When I go into the studio my only expectation is that I’m going to be creating great music with whomever I’m working with. I’ve been very blessed with great collaborators.
TVSG: Have you ever been in the studio and just gotten so frustrated that you just wanted to walk out and say, "screw this!"?
TVSG: Dream duet?
CF: I would love to do a duet with Chante Moore or Lisa Stansfield. Something with Beyonce would be cute! I also think a duet with George Michael would be great.
TVSG: How do you feel about touring?
CF: Touring is an important part of being a recording artist. Market awareness is essential to selling product, so getting out there and meeting your audience is crucial. It’s great to connect with the people that are supporting your work.
TVSG: Do you have "groupies"?
TVSG: For those of us who think you're a major hottie, are you in a relationship?
CF: Yes. His name is Angelo and he’s a hottie, both inside and out!!
TVSG: What kind of night does Colton Ford have when he's just being himself?
CF: I’ll go have a nice dinner with my partner, and then we’ll go home and maybe watch a movie, or a re-run of one of the Housewives episodes. Lol.
TVSG: You're a very sexy man and don't seem to have a problem flaunting it, do you feel your looks are a help or a hindrance to your being taken seriously as a singer?
CF: I’m comfortable in my skin, and use that in a way that I feel works best for me. People’s responses cover the whole spectrum, but at the end of the day I’m happy with who I am and what I’m doing.
TVSG: What is sexy to you?
CF: Confidence and a strong sense of self.
TVSG: What's your next project?
CF: I’m currently working on my next originals album. I’ve also been cast in a reality show called the Velvet Mafia that’s supposed to start shooting early 2010. I’m also reading a couple of feature film scripts. Just keeping the ship moving!
TVSG: So, the next time you're in Vegas, can I VIP you up with a Bottle and a cozy couch in an UltraLounge?
CF: As long as I can bring my partner.
CHECK OUT COLTON'S LATEST HIT "LOSING MY RELIGION" AT www.coltonfordmusic.com
Businessman and author, Paul Murad will be speaking at this months "QVegas Business Alliance Luncheon" on Tuesday 01 December 2009 from 1130am-1:00pm.
Paul has recently announced his intention to run for the office of Lt. Governor of Nevada in 2010 as a Democrat.
The QVegas Business Alliance is a new networking event held in upscale venues where business people can get together to meet one another, network and share information on marketing to the highly desirable LGBT market.
The luncheon will feature a special "speed networking" event as well as door prizes and refreshments.
The cost is $25.00. The luncheon is open to the public. Everyone is encouraged to bring as many of your colleagues as you would like. Please reserve space for everyone online.
Ever so often you need to just jump in the Wayback Machine and get to the origins of everything you love.
I love Punk. As a kid in the late 70's I stayed up late one night and watched the premiere of a new show called "Weekend". I have no idea what else they talked about that night, but, a story on this new thing called "Punk" blew my mind.
For a bored , fat, soon to be Gay kid, Punk proved to me that their was a world outside of Seattle.
I couldn't wait to get there.
Of course everyone knows about the Sex Pistols and all that rot, but, Punk started a lot earlier.
Here are some of the very first Punk rockers.
After all, Malcolm McClaren had to steal it from somewhere.
The acknowledged Kings/Queens of 70's New York Punk, the New York Dolls had one hella short ,but, influential ride!
Some people think of The Velvet Underground as sort of a gimmick that Andy Warhol thought up during his SuperStar period. Led by Nico and Legendary Lou Reed, Velvet is still influencing garage bands to this day.
Regardless of whether or not she broke up The Beatles, there's no denying that Yoko Ono might have just been the first Badass Punk Bitch. You don't like her "singing"? Fuck you. You don't "get" her? Fuck you more.
That's Punk attitude baby.
Yoko is punk.
While we're on the ladies, Patti Smith is one of the OG Punks. Her collaborations with Robert Mapplethorpe and her hard living are legendary. She could and still does keep up with the boys and in most cases, she's got a bigger set than most guys in rock.
You can't have a little Trib to Punk without mentioning these guys. The Ramones perfected the two minute Punk throwdown, all blistering guitars, hard beats and catchy lyrics you could scream to all night while doing beer bongs.
Hope you enjoyed this little trip in The WayBack Machine.
Sondre Lerche sings modern pop songs that have the freshness of a crisp morning in his native Norway. You may know him from his soundtrack work on "Dan In Real Life" in 2007. I'm not a fan of the flick, I'm a big fan of Sondre.
How could you not be a fan of someone who recently got to open for his fave band ever, AHA? Even though had pretty much already written his first album by 1999, the wunderkind had to wait until he finished his high school education before his first real album, "Faces Down", in 2002. This was the full length follow up to his acclaimed EP, "You Know So Well", released in 2001.
Winner of the "Best New Act" at The Norwegian Grammys, Sondre has been performing since he was sneaking into clubs with his sister at age 14. His music is a masterful blend of influences such as Jazz, Bossa Nova, Psychdelic and 60's Pop.
Check out Sondre Lerche, he may just end up being your Sunday afternoon fave.
Ok, I'm Black. I like Red KoolAid, anything fried (except Okra), chicken, watermelon and Bernie Mac.
If you're not Black you probably don't know that at the secret Black People meetings (what, you thought y'all were the only ones to have those? Bitch please.), it has been so decreed that at some point in your life as a Black person, you , or someone you live with, must own a Hyundai.
If you are found in violation of this rule, I shudder to think of what would happen to you. Mad About You reruns? Creamed Chicken on toast casseroles? Campari on ice?
No. Not that!
Rodney King had a Hyundai. Evidently a sport model that was sold only to Ultra Negroes because the LAPD swore that brother was doing 110mph.
Maybe Puffy has one?
I HAD A HYUNDAI!
There. I said it. Don't judge me. It's in the rules. I am already on thin ice. I like "Friends". Not Ross and Rachel. Chandler and Phoebe, but, still...
I had a Hyundai Excel that only stayed in one piece because of the bird crap that fell on it nightly outside of my Echo Park apartment.
What a load of crap.
And the Pigeons.
More so the Hyundai.
Hyundai has decided that poor Black people aint enough anymore and now they're trying to get all bougie. Hence, the V8 powered luxury Genesis sedan. At over 30 Large, this is Hyundai's attempt to get people out of their Lexus's.
Well, it is big. It's not THAT ugly. It's very nice inside. The price is great.
It's a Hyundai.
I'm sorry but no ballers baby momma wants a Hyundai no matter what Hyundai tries to tell you it's market demographic is. This aint like when Mercedes had it's nuts handed to it by Lexus. Nobody had ever heard of Lexus. No preconceived notions.
EVERYBODY has heard of Hyundai.
I don't know about you, but, nice as it is, I aint feeling this big ass Luxo-Hyundai. Maybe if I lived in Carson or lesser parts of Henderson.
Not a moment too soon, Chrysler's new massas, FIAT, have announced the crap, er, cars that are going to get chopped once a new El Jefe is up in the house.
Here's a list and their "point":
CHRYSLER PT CRUISER: Grandmothers who keep a weekly wash and set at Lurlene's. CHRYSLER SEBRING: Drunken sorority girls in Ft. Lauderdale. DODGE AVENGER: What the hell is this? DODGE CALIBER: I repeat, what the hell is this? DODGE DAKOTA: The pickup even Lesbians won't drive. DODGE GRAND CARAVAN: Hi, I hate my wife and kids and wish I was Gay DODGE NITRO: All together now, what the hell is this? DODGE VIPER: Whaddaya mean you don't like Joey Butaffuaco? JEEP COMMANDER:Sounds cool. Isn't JEEP COMPASS: Hi, my name is Shannon! JEEP PATRIOT: Hi, my name is Brent and this is my partner Steven and our daughter, Mei Ling!
As you can imagine, The Vegas Style Guy is uber concerned about the environment and all that crap, uh, stuff. I personally think that no mink should die before it's time and if snakes are going to molt anyway, why not help them along and make lovely belts?
See. I care.
What I really care about are hot cars. If you can combine hot with "EcoChic", well, Je Suis In!
That's French for, "where's the buffet, who's paying?"
Well, Audi, home to the Baddass A8 and R8, has something really EcoCool coming in 2011: The Audi E-Tron.
The E-Tron is the $200,000 answer to the question of what rich nerds drive to the AVNs. This sled is sweet! And unlike the other car companies that are making electric sports cars, there's a pretty good chance Audi will still be around in five years.
I'm not naming names.
With an interior that's a combination of IPod and Jet Fighter, the E-Tron is expected to blast from 0-60 in about 4.3 seconds.
Valets all along the strip say "hey"!
There's a bunch of techy stuff I really don't care about as well. I know it has four electric batteries powering the wheels and...oh Gawd, I'm bored!
Listen, you're not using any of those carbon foot things, it's hella chic, it will be built in the same factory as Lamborghinis and PETA can't get mad at you. After all, no minks died for it.
The trouble one goes through to care.
Yo Schleprock! Put your ducats in a row cause your sportscar is coming. Of course at $200,000+ , you might have to tell your mom you're not moving out of the basement anytime soon.
I was willing to give the monstrosity on the Acura stand a chance. My two friends told me that it was "cool looking".
I thought it looked liked a bad 60's Japanese monster movie, or, Transformers on Meth.
And then I TRIED to get into the back seat.
But, let me get in the way back machine for "une moment".
That's French for "before I hit my head on every surface of this ugly ass car".
The Acura ZD whatever is the latest answer to questions nobody was asking. Namely, " how can I buy a 'car' that doesn't have the size of a SUV or the decent looks of a warthog?" And furthermore, "can I possibly buy the ugliest car at the highest price that I can't possibly get into the back seat of?"
If you have ever asked those questions, Acura has a car for you.
And you're stupid.
The ZDX is actually impossible to get into the back seat of unless you are whatever the politically correct word for a midget is. I defy anyone who is not from one of Gulliver's Travels to get into the back seat of this thing without doing a Cirque Du Soleil maneuver of epic proportions.
I literally had to bend, stoop, fold and pray to 1980's Jane Fonda to Origami myself into the back seat. And once I had achieved this little bit of self flagellation, I then had my neck turned at an angle so unnatural that I reached for my cell phone and called Gloria Allred hoping to get her to file a class action suit for anyone who actually suffered through this denial of basic backseat rights.
And did I mention that it's UGLY?
Like one of those inbred Spanish Infantas, the ZDX is the Jocelyn Wildenstein of four wheeled conveyances. I wanted to sue Acura just for making me look at it. From any angle.
Much like the BMW X6 and Gran Turismo, the ZDx is a car for, oh, I don't know, MORONS perhaps? Why would you spend more than $35,000 on a car that your friends are going to have knife fights over who has to endure the back seat for more than 5 minutes? And why, pray tell, unless you are a student at the Braille Institute, would you look at this new millennium Edsel and still sign the papers to take it off some dealers lot?
Why dammit, why?
I don't hate the 2010 Acura ZDX.
I LOATHE it.
And as soon as I leave my Chiropractor, I'm suing someone for wasting my retinas and my vertebrae.
What I meant was that every Gay needs needs a frantic White chick who's on the verge of hitting some slow Bitch with a bottle of Robotussin (that she's buying, "just in case.") in line at the Von's self check out.
You know the type: Fab "vintage" coat over dirty sweats in full "walk of shame" makeup at 12:45pm.
On a Tuesday.
Her name is always the type that hides the inner crazy Bitch just on the other side of her 2 seasons ago Prada Mary Janes.
Hells to the yeah!
If you don't have your own personal semi crazy White girl, Amy Alkon will do until you find a Sherry or a Suzi of your own.
Not sure if you should tell that lady that her 6 year old already looks like a slut?
Wanna know if it's cool to tell a guy you can't date him anymore because you've nicknamed his penis, "the Gherkin"?
When I think of Vegas Style Guys, I think of the suave and smooth crooners. Dean, Frank, Sammy and Peter Lawford are my idea of Men with style. The way they wore a suit made the ladies swoon a-roon roon and the gents all rush out to Bullocks to get the latest in sharksin, skinny suits.
That old Vegas look is a class act that never goes out of style. It's clean and simple, yet, tres elegante.
That's French for, SLAMMIN'!
Whether you're hitting a steakhouse on the Strip or alighting from your Caddy with tonight's arm candy, you can rest assured that you'll be aces in a suit if Deano would have worn it.
The newest member of the Vegas Style Pack is Matt Goss.
Who is this Matt Goss I speak of?
Remember those way hot UK twins from the 80's, "Bros"? They gave us such jams as, "When Will I Be Famous" and "I Owe You Nothing".
Well, Matt was a Bro.
Turns out Matt wasn't just a pretty boy who looked good in torn jeans. He is actually an extremely talented singer and performer. He's currently packing them in at The Palms on a long term gig. While virtually unknown here in the states, Goss is known as "The Voice" worldwide, Matt has sold millions of albums with "Bros" and as a solo artist. Las Vegas is where Matt hopes to establish himself on this side of the pond as a star of major talent and potential.
In addition to soothing the aural canals with his smooth "blue eyed" soul, Matt is one the most stylish men in Las Vegas. He's fast becoming known for his dapper, well cut suits and Sinatra-esque fedoras. Matt exhibits a sleek and modern style that pays homage to the past in a way that is still modern and fresh. Hopefully, the guys who go to see his shows will come away with a need to buy his CD AND they'll have a clue on how a guy should be dressing for a night out on the town in Las Vegas these days.
Matt Goss is in residence at The Palms on the weekends.
Check out Matt Goss at The Palms Hotel & Casino 4321 West Flamingo Road, Las Vegas, NV 89103 702-942-7777
I love my Downtown. Especially Fremont Street. I honestly believe that Fremont Street is the "real" Las Vegas. Not to put down the "Megas" up the street, but, on Fremont Street you can always have a good time no matter what your budget.
Well, mon Ami, Downtown is about to be rocked by the classiest joint north of Bonneville. The Golden Nugget is taking the wraps off of it's new tower!
Damn the economy! Full luxe ahead!
Already the most luxurious of the Downtown hotel, The Golden Nugget has just seen a $300 Million renovation and upgrade.
Pretty soon we'll be talkin' real money.
What you get for all of that cheese is one Glam new Glitter Palace for The Gulch.
Luxury rooms that are larger than my own personal Downtown Criblet, a HUGE new Aquarium you can enjoy either from the stylish lobby ,or, from your table at my soon to be fave eatery, The Charthouse.
Over a Million Smackeroos was spent on the Porte Cochere alone!
That's French for the place you get out of your Town Car at.
All of this is in addition to all of my favorite things about The Golden Nugget which have been kept and improved. There's the pool with it's water slide through a tank full of vicious, man eating sharks (no, not them, those are Cougars, look in the tank silly!) which has been upgraded with the most chic cabanas downtown. AND my fave bar Downtown to people watch and drink Gibson's, Gold Digger's!
Well, the big to do is tonight, so, I better go shine my date and get a move on for the festivities!
See you there!
Golden Nugget Hotel 129 E. Fremont St. Las Vegas, NV 89101
Both of them would be out the window like the last bottle of Hennesy at a Ghetto prom if Satan came at me and offered me a 2010 Cadillac CTS Coupe.
I'd sleep with your Mom and kill your Dad for this car.
(Note to self: Don't say stuff like that out loud. It makes you look shallow.)
Pardon Moi, Je suis digress.
The new CTS Coupe is a direct injected 3.6-liter V6 304 hp, torquey sex toy.
And I wanna play with it.
This car is the sleekest thing to come out of Motown since Cindy Birdsong. The lines are sharp and seductive. The interior is like having Leather Daddy sex on the Cote D'Azure, all leather and chrome. 18" wheels and GM's Hydra-Matic 6L50 six-speed automatic tranny make cruising the boulevard from Fremont Street to Santa Monica and Roberston a Pimpy breeze.
I lust for a hot Douche in an Ed Hardy Bedazzled T-Shirt. You know the type. He hangs out at pool parties with his "Brahs" leering at future strippers from Tampa while drinking Adios MuthaFuckas in the sun till he pukes on your Air Kobes ( or whatever those people wear). He's hot, but, you know after he splooges he's gonna fart and fall asleep.
I love him.
So do you.
And what does a Douche wear when he's hitting T.I. (the Ultimate Douche Hotel)?
ED. FUCKING. HARDY. BRAH!
Since Ashton Kutchner first wore that Ed Hardy Trucker hat, the Hardy line has become the Chanel for the Douche set. If you're a Douche and you don't have an Ed Hardy Bedazzled T, well, who are you Brah? I don't know you anymore.
My faves are the Bedazzled board shorts that hang oh so low on a hot white boys' flat ass.
They also have shoes and various other accessories.