HEAVEN IS BACK AND EDUARDO CORDOVA PRESENTS IT!

I've never been to Moscow.

I've never been to Shanghai.

I have been to Tijuana.

But we don't talk about that anymore.

By order of the Border Patrol.

Where was I?

Oh. Yes.

I have been to HEAVEN!

Ok look, I already told you we can't talk about T.J.!

I'm talking about HEAVEN, the best ever club in the history of the known LGBT universe in Las Vegas!

Of course it is an "Eduardo Cordova Presents" affaire! That's Francais for Hella Good Ass Partay!

Well.

The best dimples North of The Rio Grande is bringing back HEAVEN for the summer of '11! Yes, Heeeeee's Baaaaack!

Only this summer it is going to be even mas slammin' than ever before!

Ho,w you may ask.

I said you may.

Ask.

Duh.

Here's how.

Bitch.

Of course HEAVEN is back at the BARE POOL at The Mirage!

Of. Course.

At tonight's Le Opening Grande E to The C will be serving up a special performance by Erika Jayne!

In addition, Super Duper Star DJ Chris Cox will be whirling the jams to make the dance floor rock like a big girl!

Did I mention that dancefloor is is suspended on plexiglass over the pool at BARE?

Really.

I swear.

BUT WAIT! THERE'S MAS!

We're being INVADED Y'ALL!

And that's a good thing!

Steve Machuca & Woody Woddbeck (I swear I didn't make that name up!) are bringing us a Bus Load of "California Boys" from West Hollywood!

Yum. Imported fresh meat!

Uh, I mean, fun tourist dudes.

Yeah. That's what I meant.

Well.

Aren't you all fired up?

Aren't you?

Of course you are.

Silly.

HEAVEN happens TONIGHT at the BARE Pool at The Mirage starting at 1030pm and ending when you see the 1,500th American Apparel Deep V-Neck T-shirt.

Obviously I don't have to get on the guest list, but, you really should drop an internet thingee to Ivanvegas@ymail.com and get on his list to make sure you and yours are there to enjoy the hottest night in the LGBT, HEAVEN!

HEAVEN AT THE BARE POOL
THE MIRAGE RESORT AND CASINO
3400 S. Las Vegas Blvd., Las Vegas, NV 89109

Think YOU'RE The Gay BFF? Find Out Tonight At "Closet Sundays"!

Well.

As any regular reader of my stream of consciousness ramblings on Style and The Glamorous Life knows, Moi only comes out of my Lair during the late night for one person.

No, not Johnny Walker.

Bitch.

No, not Kim Kardashian.

I only like the fat one and the soon to be bulimic new sister.

Moi only comes out during DUI checkpoint time for the most adorable promoter in the LV.

EDUARDO CORDOVA!

Really.

I swear.

Well.

Tonight everyone's favorite eye candy behind a velvet rope is hosting a totally new contest!

You know how I just love a contest.

Well.

As long as there isn't a swimsuit portion.

Or congeniality.

I am more the type to put pepper in your bikini bottom than make friends backstage.

Where was I?

Oh.

Yes.

So.

Tonight Mr. Dimples from Cutiepie Land Cordova is having a contest to see who is THE Gay BFF!

As I mentioned previously, I am NOT the one, so I have decided to not try for this crown.

But.

Others have. A MUCH nicer bunch than Moiself.

They are:

Benjamin Bradley
Brandon Pereyda
Johnny Espinosa
Chris Saldana
Patrick Chan
Ethan Carvalho
Andy Du Bois
Armando Macias
Jake Callotta
Jorge Garcia-Solorio
Ivan Rodriguez
Jorge Martinez Schwarzbeck
and
Jonathan Morgan

It seems that the premise is whomever brings the most friends to CLOSET SUNDAYS tonight will receive the following:

WINNER TO RECEIVE:
ONE NIGHT STAY AT THE MIRAGE
DINNER FOR 2 AT STACK
COMP BOTTLE AT ANY LIGHT GROUP LGBT EVENT

Woo.

Hoo.

BUT WAIT!

THERE'S MORE!

Did you doubt?

In addition to the spectacle of seeing all of those Gays making niceee to win a night in a room that doesn't charge by the hour, there will be a SPECIAL PERFORMANCE BY LADY KIMORA!

Oooh.

Weee.

As always there will be Le Specials Du Potato Juice.

That's VODKA!

Keep up.

Something called "COORS" is also on special.

Hmm, does one drink that with an umbrella?

Olives?

Whatevers.

I'm sure it's tasty when it's on special.

What isn't?

For those of you who are not me (and most of you aren't), you can call 702-693-8300 to get on the guest list.

You can also follow Eduardo (No, not from behind you little perv.) at Twitter Freak! Simply click in @EDUARDOPRESENTS.COM on your internet machine.

You do know that box is good for things other than Porn?

Don't you?

Eww.

TEXT "CLOSET" TO 25827 FOR UPDATES AND OFFERS ON ALL CLOSET SUNDAY EVENTS!

The party starts at 10pm and ends when I have to tell you to get rid of your boyfriend.

Closet Sundays
The Mirage Resort & Casino
3400 S. Las Vegas Blvd., Las Vegas, NV 89109

Why are you still here?

Shouldn't you be practicing your moves in front of the mirror?

No. Not THAT move!

The one you can do on a dance floor!

Puta.

LADY KIMORA

SORDID LIVES TONIGHT! FREE SCREENING!

We become intimate with the "Sordid Lives" of a family in a small Texas town preparing for the funeral of the mother. Among the characters are the grandson trying to find his identity in West Hollywood, the son who has spent the past twenty-three years dressed as Tammy Wynette, the sister and her best friend (who live in delightfully kitschy homes), and the two daughters (one strait-laced and one quite a bit looser).




The sreening is FREE and is followed by a lively discussion.

Sunday, April 24 · 6:00pm - 8:30pm TONIGHT!!!

Snacks, soda and beer are available for purchase.

Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Las Vegas 3616 Lake Mead Blvd. Las Vegas, NV 89115