I played Santa in the 1st grade production of “The Night Before Christmas”. I was born for the role. I was cute. I was cherubic. I had rosy cheeks.
I was the fattest 1st grader that Reavis Elementary School had ever seen
Born. For. The. Role.
How about your worst job?
I was the graveyard shift worker at a lab in El Monte where I grew mold.
I was born for the job.
When I first saw the Uber talented Jamie Morris in “Mommie Queerest”, I knew he was born for the role. Maybe it was something about the arch in his brow.
Or the insanity just behind his rouge.
But much like that proverbial feline with nine lives, Morris was reborn as Mrs. Garrett in “The Facts of Life: The Lost Episode.”
Born. To. Play. The. Role.
AND THEN! Along comes Morris in “The Silence of the Clams” as Hannibal Lichter.
Zut Alors! That’s French for WTF!?!
Now, Jamie is back as everyone’s fave slacker elf in David Sedaris’s “The Santaland Diaries”.
You’ve heard of “Jolly Saint Nick” and even “Bad Santa”. In “The Santaland Diaries” you meet the first ever holiday “Elf Bitch.” This little candy striped curmudgeon and his wry take on everything Macy’s during the most wonderful time of the year will make you glad you completed that typing class at Devry. From his Elf training to the indignities of working with people he normally wouldn’t sit next to on the subway, this poor schlub is funnier than your pill poppin’ aunt Gina on Egg Nog at Midnight Mass.
This is the holidays as seen through a pack of Marlboros and a Whiskey Sour.
Let’s face it, everyone really hates the holidays whether you admit it or not. And that, meine fruende, is why you have to come down to The Onyx Theater and commiserate with your fellow holiday revelers as you laugh till you pee (just a little) in your pants at “The Santaland Diaries”
Soon you’ll have to spend time with your loved ones.
You’re gonna need a good laugh to get you through that n’est pas?
Performance Dates: Thursday - December 1, 2011 at 08:00 PM - Open Seating Friday - December 2, 2011 at 08:00 PM - Open Seating Saturday - December 3, 2011 at 08:00 PM - Open Seating Sunday - December 4, 2011 at 05:00 PM - Open Seating Thursday - December 8, 2011 at 08:00 PM - Open Seating Friday - December 9, 2011 at 08:00 PM - Open Seating Saturday - December 10, 2011 at 08:00 PM - Open Seating Sunday - December 11, 2011 at 05:00 PM - Open Seating
**The Santaland Diaries is presented by special arrangement with Dramatists Play Services, Inc., New York**