Tuesday, December 21, 2010


Let us get one thing straight.

Well, you know what I mean...

Clear. I meant clear.

Let's get one thing clear.

Moi is used to being stared at upon entering a restaurant.

When I arrive at my fave McDonalds, they know to fire up the fryer and let the good times roll. Making my entrance at Krazy Kitchen buffet, it's "oh here come large yellow man, hide Salmon roll! Leave some other people!"


As Moi and Moi's bestie Christopher sauntered into some Gawdawful casinoette on Industrial near a, ahem, "library" that Christopher was familiar with, the men all paused as I walked into the room.

And not in a good way.

I am quite sure that the music stopped, jaws dropped and the theme song from "Deliverance" floated in from a dimly lit alcove played by what looked like the evil spawn of John McCain and Rhea Pearlman.


I swear.

"Are you sure this is the place the locals know as "the best Chinese food in Vegas"?, I asked of Chris.

"Keep going to the back", Chris growled. Mind you, he had had one of "those" weeks. A week so "those" that we had foregone our usual drinking in favor of food!

I hustled past a neck that was as red as any Sheriff's in Jim Crow Alabama neck ever was. I flung open the door and all of a sudden, I was in Hong Kong circa "Suzie Wong."

Nothing fancy, but, obviously authentic. There were an equal number of customers and employess.

Two. Each.

Somehow. I knew I was home.

I took one look at the menu and was transported back to my days in L.A. at four am with my friends (Cher, Christina Aguilera, Brittany Spears and Gore Vidal. Well, until Christina became a bitch.) all sucking up mounds of food in Chinatown until the sun came up.

On the menu were Salted Chicken ($8.50 half/$16 whole), Beef with Melon ($8.50) Hot Braised Snow Fish ($14.95) and, of course, Shark Fin soup. I will not eat Shark Fin Soup, it is completely wrong to kill a shark just for the fin.

I will, however, wear a Chinchilla and I don't care what you do with the carcass.

Suck it PETA.

Where was I?

Oh. Yes. Diamond Chinese!

I had heard often about this place and have to say that it more than lived up to the hype. I ordered my "tester" dish that I always order when I 'm deciding on whether or not a Chinese joint is going to see my substantial rear end again.

I ordered "House Special Egg Foo Young"($8.95). And I dared them to impress me.

Oh. My. Gawd. Chandler Bing!

It was perfectly crisp on the outside and had just the right mix of eggs and veggies for the filling. Adorned with paper thin slices of BBQ Pork and meaty soft Scallops, Steamed Chicken and melt in your mouth Fish Fillets all wrapped up in a delicious gravy, it was eaten by my eyes before I even touched it with my utensil!

We split an order of Sliced Chicken with Cashew Nuts ($8.25) as well and it did nothing to shake me of the idea that I was loving this place.

And then!

I noticed the one thing that cemented my relationship with Diamond Chinese.

I side door.

No more Rednecks for Moi! I can come and go without a busload of Freedom Riders to protect me on my way to Le Heaven Gastronomique!

Get the to the best Chinese Food in town, Diamond Chinese!


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