Monday, January 17, 2011


So sick Moi has been lately.




In addition to fighting off a cold could only be God's revenge for my years without a moral compass ('06-'09,) I am now also getting rid of the weight gained during my Glam period ('09-'10).

The extra 73lbs I managed to add to my already voluptuous frame is no longer cuddly.

It's just gross.

Of course I have figured out a way to satisfy my need for attention whilst losing copious amounts of flab.

Of course.

Moi is the new Gay face of TRIMCARE Medical Weight Loss program.

It was only a matter of time.

Sooner or later it was gonna be going all Jennifer Hudson or opening supermarkets in Henderson.

But, Holly Madison has that market all to herself.



Where was I?

Oh. Yes.

I was fat, sick and hungry.

That brings us to Satay Malaysian Grille.


I swear.

As I lay reinterpreting the deathbed scene from Camille, The Candidate called and suggested I leave the confines of The GayBoyClub to find the nourishment I so obviously needed.

Whilst not effing up my diet.

Of course.


Nothing seemed more appealing than some flavorful and spicy Tom Yum soup ($9.50-12.50) at Satay Malaysian Grille.


Moi likes a place where everybody knows my name and Satay is that type of place. The whole vibe is laid back and friendly. You can roll in feeling your worst or be on a first date all shaved up and you're always treated like a friend regardless. And while the view of the parking lot isn't much, Satay does offer outdoor seating in addition to your normal dining room set up. My fave spot to chillax here is the ultra lounge looking area at the rear of the restaurant that's perfect for getting together with a group of friends to order everything on the appetizer menu over a few hours.

My goal was soup and the Tom Yum did not fail me. Unlike my not so fave, Lotus of Siam, the cooks here understand that spicy doesn't have to mean everyone at the table should be crying like a 16 year old at her eighth screening of Black Swan. I asked for it to be cooked at level 7 and it cleared my nose while still leaving my palate intact.

The Candidate ordered a big bowl of meaty Oxtail soup ($11.95) that had plenty of meat to keep him busy for the entire meal. Being the bad friend that he is, The Candidate also ordered probably my two favorite appetizers on Earth, Salt and Pepper Shrimp ($7.95) and Scallops wrapped in Bacon ($6.95).

I whipped out my Android Calorie Counter and got to figuring. Luckily, I was still way under my allotted calories for the day and therefore, Moi dived in like a Pimp at bus station.

The Shrimps are lightly coated and perfectly fried. The seasoning is exactly right. You taste the salt and pepper just enough to miss it as the taste disappears down your palate. The shrimp are as perfectly cooked as any fried shrimp ever has been. Delicate, yet firm enough that they don't break apart when you try and just eat a tiny bit at a time because you never want that plate to be empty.

The Scallops manage to be light and well cooked even while the Bacon is cooked exactly to the point where it still has a meaty texture and is also perfectly crispy. On two skewers of four, this concoction will be my first cheat day meal when I've finally hit my goal weight.

Of course I avoided the Roti bread with Curry dipping sauce($5.50) and Lumpia ($5.50) The Candidate also ordered. I'm nothing if not determined and strong of will. In my fat and I don't care days I've tasted both so I feel pretty safe telling you about them. The Roti is always a hit whenever I've hosted groups at Satay. The curry sauce is nice and light with a tiny bit of after kick. The Lumpia, on the other hand, is just like Lumpia everywhere. I will never understand what people see in Lumpia that is not made by someone's boyfriend's Mom.

Of course Satay has all of the usual vittles you would expect in a South East Asian restaurant and you're safe with anything you order. I will suggest that you let the kitchen decide for you and just enjoy the flavor ride. They also have a really great Happy Hour menu from 3-6pm everyday and big screen TV's if you wanna kick it with friends and watch "The Game" (I have no idea what that means).


Everyday: 11 a.m. - 11 p.m.
Late Night Friday & Saturday 2 a.m.+

SATAY Thai Bistro & Bar
3900 Paradise Rd, Suite N
Las Vegas, NV 89169


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