Sunday, November 29, 2009


Ok, I'm Black. I like Red KoolAid, anything fried (except Okra), chicken, watermelon and Bernie Mac.

If you're not Black you probably don't know that at the secret Black People meetings (what, you thought y'all were the only ones to have those? Bitch please.), it has been so decreed that at some point in your life as a Black person, you , or someone you live with, must own a Hyundai.


I swear.

If you are found in violation of this rule, I shudder to think of what would happen to you. Mad About You reruns? Creamed Chicken on toast casseroles? Campari on ice?

No. Not that!

I digress.

Rodney King had a Hyundai. Evidently a sport model that was sold only to Ultra Negroes because the LAPD swore that brother was doing 110mph.

Maybe Puffy has one?


There. I said it. Don't judge me. It's in the rules. I am already on thin ice. I like "Friends". Not Ross and Rachel. Chandler and Phoebe, but, still...

I had a Hyundai Excel that only stayed in one piece because of the bird crap that fell on it nightly outside of my Echo Park apartment.

What a load of crap.

The car.

And the Pigeons.

More so the Hyundai.

Hyundai has decided that poor Black people aint enough anymore and now they're trying to get all bougie. Hence, the V8 powered luxury Genesis sedan. At over 30 Large, this is Hyundai's attempt to get people out of their Lexus's.


Well, it is big. It's not THAT ugly. It's very nice inside. The price is great.

It's a Hyundai.

I'm sorry but no ballers baby momma wants a Hyundai no matter what Hyundai tries to tell you it's market demographic is. This aint like when Mercedes had it's nuts handed to it by Lexus. Nobody had ever heard of Lexus. No preconceived notions.

EVERYBODY has heard of Hyundai.

I don't know about you, but, nice as it is, I aint feeling this big ass Luxo-Hyundai. Maybe if I lived in Carson or lesser parts of Henderson.

But I don't.

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